Uncertainties...

Although I clearly would not have any feelings whatsoever about the start of the 2013 school session, the 2nd of Jan 2013 is nerve-wrecking for me too, for completely different reasons. Don't know whether to look forward to it or not. What shall be discovered on that day may change our whole lives but I'm trying my best to have a positive outlook on life.

2012 has been one heck of a year although it hasn't even ended yet. Full of lovely and not-so-lovely surprises that never fail to confuse me: by putting a smile on my face yet engaging my whole brain into unstoppable thoughts on life uncertainties. Lucky me, I have my Hubby and family's undying support.

Thus, there's no room anymore in my brain and heart to think about petty things in life. Nothing and no one can and should make me feel bad coz I have had just about enough. No need to complicate trivial matters that require simple solutions. I seriously have more important things about the future to ponder upon.

All I need now is Allah's guidance & a tiny bit of miracle. Insya Allah.. Aminn ;)

THE NEW & YOUNG PARENTS' ESSENTIALS

My substantial almost 2-year parenting experience (most of the time alone) has granted me with the credibility to come up with the following list, THE NEW & YOUNG PARENTS' ESSENTIALS. Before I actually list them all down one by one, this list will only be of relevance to you if:

• You have never had any real experience taking care of any babies at all.
• You are one lazy bum.
• Most of the time, your motherly instincts (if any) don't work.
• You feel like pinching your cute baby's cheeks every time they bawl.
• You get panicked easily for the most trivial baby issues.
• You only think a crying baby is cute for the first 10 seconds. 
• You love to have a shower longer than 2 minutes, with the doors closed.
• You tend to have that lifetime-long guilt every time your baby falls. 
• You don't fancy having bouncy kids at the rear car seat as you drive. 
• You'd love to do your toilet business in peace, with the doors closed.
• You tend to become half-human for lack of sleep. 
• Your baby loves throwing food more than eating it.
• You are an absent-minded person.
• You are a  relatively young parent who is constantly tired after working hours.
• Your baby picks up everything and puts everything (except fresh and delicious food) in his/her  mouth.
• You love a smooth shopping experience.
• You don't have a maid or helper, or other family members to help you out with. 
• Your parents are faaaaar awayyyy...
• You want a cleaner house.
• You are a cheapskate.
• You freakinly want a life!

If you've said YES to all of the above, indeed you NEED all of the following items to facilitate your new adventure in the world of babyhood:

1. PACIFIER

I used to think that bra was the best invention in the world. I've changed my mind. PACIFIER beats all other inventions in the world thus far. The world is a lot more peaceful without unnecessary babies' wails and whimpers. Best of all, pacifiers or soothers now come in a lot of shapes. I've chosen an orthodontic one for the fear that Awish will go all jongang. 

2.  BABY SWING/ROCKER/BOUNCER

This is one magical item I tell ya... If you have a baby who possesses a wide range of voice pitch levels, put him or her in this miraculous staple appliance and wallaaaa your baby will magically turn into one sweet angel who looks as helpless and as peaceful as someone who is in a trance state. An electric one is practical too if your baby takes a longer time to sleep. But don't forget to turn it off once your baby is sound asleep. 

3. CAR SEAT

This is one essential item in your car, especially if you are usually driving only with your baby together. Driving while holding a baby on your lap is just grossly unacceptable. And even if you have another adult with you in the car, it's not exactly safe, should an accident happen. Sometimes you and the other person/people in the car also would love to have your hands free to scratch your body and pick your nose.

And an average one that is not too cheap and too expensive would already do it. As long as it's sturdy, has some kinda warranty, and you can easily go to the manufacturer, should there be any spare parts that need replacement. And buy one that can be used from 0-25kg for example. Then only you can save up and not buy one every year as your baby grows.

And you must start putting the baby in the car seat as early as possible. If he/she is not accustomed to the whole idea of sitting at the back alone, all buckled up in a reverse position, then you will have a hard time later commuting from one place to another. 

4. BABY STROLLER

No matter how masculine you are, how strong your backbone is and how muscly your biceps/triceps are, you tend to get all achy after a few minutes/hours holding your baby. and your baby isn't going to sit still. He/she will usually toss and turn as everything around them is just extremely fascinating. So please do all parties a favour by putting your baby on a stroller. Your baby can happily view the new intriguing world around him/her and you also can shop and stroll away with more ease and sanity. And you need to practise putting him/her in it from the beginning. Then only the baby will feel that he/she has no choice but to sit still in it. 

But if you are still expecting, I suggest that you do not necessarily have to buy an expensive stroller. Unless the features are really superb, you don't have to waste too much money on this one item. A cheap one would already be sufficient. Mine is only RM200+ but has served its purpose well for the past 21 months. We have not only carried our baby in it, but carried a newly bought microwave (with my baby still sleeping soundly in it), items to move out and move in a few months ago, and the usual weekly grocery items in it (sometimes Awish even holds the cucumber for me if there isn't enough space). Don't succumb to peer mommy pressure, unless your baby really would only sit still in an F1-branded stroller..

5. BABY MONITORS

This is an item of grave importance to all parents who care about your baby's safety without disregarding your digestive health. Believe me, you will get all cranky if you can't even perform your basic human rights with a peace of mind. It's really not funny to be going back and forth between the toilet and your baby's crib to check on him/her, just to see that they are happily asleep and you end up having constipation.

6. BABY CARRIER

Worked wonders for me and my baby, especially when he's in his cranky mode where both pacifiers and my own horrible version of lullabies didn't work. If you do not like the idea of having a baby swing, maybe this would help. But be ready to walk around the house for an hour or more until your baby is completely asleep. Once he/she is, wait a few more minutes until he's truly dozed off and remove the straps the gentlest way possible or else he/she will wail again like someone has just burnt his/her butt.

7. PLAYPEN

The playpen is also another godsent item ever created. It may not be as nice-looking as a proper wooden crib but it's safer with softer materials, should your baby fall in it. And a cheap one is already good enough. Now it's even cheaper, as you can even get one less than RM 100 in TESCO for example. If my baby isn't cranky and is in a very playful mode, it's better to let him play in the playpen as you can still do your 'business' without having to drag him/her all the way to the toilet and force him/her to witness the whole ordeal.

8. CHILD SEAT

 Yerp, you need this. Not just for meal times, but also whenever you don't trust them to walk around the house when you are just truly tired. Leaving them on their newly functioning feet when you are all burdened with fatigue is never a good idea. You might doze off unintentionally and God knows what they will do and where they will go. And my baby specifically loves to put everything in his mouth. The more dangerous that thing is or the more stale the food is, the higher the possibility that he'd put it in his mouth. So although ideally this method isn't exactly healthy either, but if you are just too exhausted, put the baby in the child seat with some toys and play an educational DVD for them to watch. Better than discovering that your baby is all swollen from a nasty fall, right??

The IKEA Antilop baby seat is the cheapest that I could find in the market. That explains why most gerais and restaurants alike would have this type in their eateries.

 9. DVDs

Yes, some people might think these are supplementary items, but they are VERY important to me. My baby is a fussy eater and knowing that he could eat 10 x more while watching DVDs, I just let it be a part of his routine. He'd be just too fascinated and will just nganga  when I feed him. He is terribly underweight so if DVDs work for him, so be it. There are just a range of activities that you can do if your baby is very mesmerized with all the animated effects shown. I can get a lot of household chores done, get some time to read newspapers, and do all sorts of other things possible. The list is endless. I know human interactions are of utmost importance. Of course I do that too. 

I play different DVDs for him based on his interest and also based on the types of things I want to get done. So the more things I need to do, the longer the length of the DVD is, ranging from Sesame Street (20 minutes - to read 1-2 articles), Barney (40 minutes - to do the laundry and wash the dishes) and the Chipmunk movies/ Rio (90 minutes - for a spring clean of the house). But, you've gotta be cautioned with the possible addiction on TV your baby might have. And for that, you need to anticipate that your child will not talk as fast as other babies of the same age. And don't be annoyed that you yourself might end up memorizing the whole film's dialogues and songs and the songs could be stuck all-day long in your head wherever you are!. Please remember to never let them fall asleep on the chair. Pity them, sakit tengkuk. There's always the baby swing to further save the day!!!

10. BABY WALKER

I bought one only after Awish has learnt to walk. Pretty ironic but I had to buy it because I didn't fully trust his newfound walking abilities and I was constantly too tired to fully monitor him and walk with him everywhere. I bought a cheap one too at TESCO and he has never fallen from it or anything. So I suppose it's OK. My baby loved strolling around the house in his walker and doing the bumper-car acts in all directions. 

11. BABY BACKPACK

I got this bag from a friend as a present. This exact shape and colour. It's definitely a more organized way to put all your babies' stuff whenever you need to go out of the house. And usually you have other things to hold on to, so don't buy the baby bag that you need to hold with hands. A backpack would be a lot more practical. With this, you can hold your baby as he/she walks with one hand and hold the trash you've been wanting to throw for days with the other one.

12.  PLASTIC BOOKS

Yup, if you have a baby like mine who loves to eat books more than reading them and more than eating real food, you need to get the plastic material books. It's water- and saliva-resistant and your baby can even read in the bathroom! (as if!). You can go crazy over a range of such books at reasonable prices at BookXcess at Amcorp Mall.

13.  SHOPPING TROLLEY BAG

This is important especially if you always bring a lot of stuff to work and you need to carry the items and your baby both at the same time. And it's essential too if you go shopping only with your baby. So you can always hold your baby with one hand and hold this trolley with the other. I even put Awish in the trolley bag when I'm just too tired. He loves it!

14. PRE-INSTALLED TALKING TOM APPLICATION

In an event where you have decided to walk into a nice restaurant but your baby starts to whimper after you have ordered,  spoils the whole romantic mood, and embarrasses you with soprano-quality cries, it's time to let your baby explore your phone and go all abusive with the talking cat. I was hoping he would talk to the cat more than actually hurting it, so you better monitor you baby's violent nature.

15. BABY PLAN APPLICATIONS

I am so absent-minded that I can't even remember the amount and frequency of the medicine I normally take. Thus, there's no guarantee at all that I will remember my baby's. Being a fussy-eater, 80% of the solids that my baby takes are supplements, and I need to remember them all; the amount, the frequency, etc. And his immune system was rather bad too, so I had to remember so many drug names, the dose and whatnot. Thank God he's a lot healthier now. Nonetheless, I benefit a lot from all sorts of planners available on my phone. There are a number of planners specifically invented for forgetful parents like me (last meal with time, last diaper change, etc) but actually normal planners would do too, as long as you put all the important things in a form of a daily checklist.

16. POTS & PANS

If you have a baby like me who does not appreciate Fisher-Price sophisticated toys, just give them enough pots and pans to play with. Put all of them which are not breakable in the lower cabinet and they'll be so amused by them all that they will not bug you for at least a little while. Straws and spoons are Awish's favourites too.

17. A DASH OF HUMOUR.

For without it, life is just too much to handle.

Ciao!

P/S - Reckoned that a portable DVD player would help too whenever we feel like dining in a fancy place, but maybe it's a little bit too much huh?? huhuh...

P/P/S - A robotic vacuum would be wonderful too!! My house is constantly in a mess no matter how often I clean. waaaa... but I miss Awish tremendously now. ... grrr...

PALAM

I think my relatively young & kunun2 sweet (buweks) face may have lead the management of my workplace to think that I'm ok with whichever campus they want to place me in. 

That is the only logical explanation I could think of as to why my placement for teaching keeps on changing every year. 

1st semester  : Asasi Law (Main campus) - no room, no desk, no 

                         guidance, & VERY pregnant. Surau was where I 

                         merempat...

2nd semester : All mixed-up in 3 different faculties (Main campus &

                         Sek 17) - still no room & desk, & even worse since I 

                         had to drive back & forth between the main campus  

                         and the Sek. 17 campus on certain  days.

3rd semester : TEKA faculty (Puncak Perdana campus) - a lil further 

                         and the flight of stairs leading up to the 5th floor was 

                         excruciating, but the comfort of having my own room  

                         in an apartment-like classroom far outweighs all  

                         other drawbacks. 

4th semester : TEKA faculty (Puncak Perdana campus) - all happy &

                         even declared that I wanted to retire here.

5th semester : PUNCAK ALAM campus!!!!! My worst nightmare 

                        came true!!!!!!!!

Words can't even express how devastated I felt to be placed to an even further place to teach. For God's sake, I live in Sek 9, send my baby to the babysitter in Sek 7 and have to only then drive all the way to Puncak Alam!!! Altogether around 35kms one way, at least 70kms every day. I used to only refill petrol for my car once in 8 days. Now, once in 4 days!!! and yes, no mileage claim yer....

But when I knew that there are some people who live even further than me and still being placed in Puncak Alam, I just shut the fudge up.

This is just plain RUTHLESS. 

Let me just share with you here the pros n cons of teaching in Puncak Alam campus, or more famously known as PALAM among students.

What I love?

-The room : pretty ok, with a nice office mate to talk to and gossip with.

-The friends : Oh fyi, all this while, it was very rare for me to really meet my colleagues during working hours. I was never placed at the same teaching place as my close friends. Most of the time, I was alone, & only met my students during teaching hours. So the beauty of PALAM is it allows me to really socialise with my friends as our rooms are just next to one another. It's good to finally have friends to eat, tease & laugh with while working.

-The modern infrastructure : In the midst of nothingness, there is PALAM, with seemingly modern buildings and talking lifts. It's a lot better looking than any other places I have ever worked in.

-The clean toilets and rooms : The cleaners are efficient and nice. This is evident from the clean surroundings, rooms, and toilets. At least I don't have to go eiiii and aaaaarrrgh like I did in Puncak Perdana since I shared the toilets with students and only God knows what they ate...

-The students (boleyla...): The students are mostly attentive, studious, and motivated to learn new things from me.

What I hate?

-The journey : Urgh! I dreaded to go to work everyday because of this. To save a little fuel (if not it would be almost 50kms one way), I had to take the Meru route from Sek 7 Shah Alam to PALAM. But the journey is just crazzeeeeyyy!!! The drivers seem to have gotten their licenses from a different planet, especially KKs (clue: I can be racist sometimes). There are lotsa potholes -- almost every 50 metres, there are more lorries per square feet than any other places on earth, and once you reach the Meru area, it seems like you are suddenly flown back to the past in the 70s and every single thing changes into the Sephia mode. It sometimes feels as if I am driving in a third world country that doesn't seem to even have flushed toilets technology. And suddenly it dawns on me, heyyy this is still Selangor!!! and the place is even worse-looking than any other kampungs I've ever been! Third world facilities & third world minds on terribly congested roads. URGH!!!

-The super-slow lifts : Yes, the lifts have that irritating & scary voice of a woman telling me the level I am at and the documentary about PALAM and all, but they are slower than snails! It takes 10-15 seconds for the doors to open everytime the lifts reach a particular level. The lifts just drive me bonkers especially when I'm already late for class & there seems to be people coming in and out at every level. And now the nearest lift to my office is under maintenance pulakkkk! waaaa!

- Finding parking : It can be quite a challenge, especially if I arrive after 9 am. When I have just had it, you would see my car being parked a few centimetres away from the rubbish dump. grrr...

- Big class : For the first time, I have to teach in lecture halls since there are generally 60 students in a class. Gila kan? and I have to allocate 10 minutes before the class ends just for the students to salam and cium my hand before they go. I didn't ask for it, but it has become some kinda culture among UiTM students. I used to love this but not with 40+ female students!!! I feel like I'm half Justin Bieber and half Datuk Seri Najib for the honour given, and like a burning monkey whenever I really desperately need to go to the toilet or leave for something important. 

- Lack of facilities : Certain lecture halls may seem perfect with  lcd projector system, nice upholstery and whatnot, but some others are just painfully not-maintained well.  I have a class that is conducted in a stuffy lecture hall with no mic, dysfuctional lcd projector and an overall system failure that does not allow me to even unroll the projection screen back up. So yes, the projector can't be used and I need to make use of only one third of the whiteboard to teach all my 60 students at a time who don't even feel like being there. And sometimes there are perverted technicians who disrupt the class with annoying remarks through the lecture hall's PA system. Boleh lak berfungsi system and speaker tu tiba2!! Urgh!

-Inefficient maintenance : This is related to the previous point. I made a complaint about the lecture hall from Week 2 and it's already Week 6 now. Nothing is done yet to rectify the problem. 

-The students: Sometimes they can be irritating if all they care is scoring in the exams and MUET. There's more to life than just exams kids!!! This situation sometimes discourages me from conducting fun lessons coz a few of them may give a 'Duhhh' look as if we're wasting time... grrr...

The students call this "Tangga Kejayaan' - 300++ steps up to their hostels.

That's all that I could think of now.. I'll add more once I remember (I'm sure I'll update the list)... 

All in all, my friends keep me sane in PALAM... 

Ciao!

Rambles all the way

I have broken too many of my own vows that I vow to never vow again... (make sense?)

My life plot has been worse than a roller-coaster ride, and I think it ain't going to be any predictable either in future years.

That's good I think.

It could be boring if everything is pre-determined and turns out to be exactly the way it is planned. 

That's a little too fictional, don't you think?

The ups and downs of my life make me the person I am today.

Cliched? YES. True? A big fat YES.

The worri-less moments as a kid, the confusing stage of a growing teenager who was challenged with some adult issues & consequently grew up a tad too fast, the studious yet rebellious secondary years , the phase of deciding about the future below the legal age, the trauma of an auto accident and the overt and covert impact it had on me, the experimental and identity-searching period of a young adult, the point when I decided that the love of a man could reside in my heart,  the time when my career options went a little haywire, the pressure of getting a Masters qualification just to survive life, the rite of passage towards a spousal bond, the point when God decides I could rear a child, the desperation to learn marriage responsibilities, the confusion that maternal instincts sometimes do not exist/work, and now is the time when I still can get very confused about life. 

When you have your family around you, yeah, frankly you get very tired trying to satisfy everyone's needs, sometimes at the expense of your own -- more than what your body and mind could actually take. Sometimes your tired mind and physique take over your logic and conscience, to the point that enough is enough.

But without them, like tonight, I feel pretty useless and admittedly, very lonely. Exhaustion aside, my boys phenomenally fill my heart with warmth and purpose. 

I guess sometimes it takes a day off of motherly and wifely duties for you to be able to ponder on the real meaning of life.

 

 Ciao for now

P/S- But without Awish, I can finally blog! hrmmph I don't sound so motherly, do I?

Aiyaaa!

Oh boy!!! I broke my own promise!!!! One day right after I vowed to actually blog daily!!!! Waaa, this is a terrible start, isn't it? Ok, I've gotta make up for this by posting two entries today!!!! (Will I???)


Ok, for today, nothing much. I just ended one class in Puncak Alam. I will blog more on that, I mean the fact that I'm here in Puncak Alam, the experience, the students, and whatnot. Later, ok?


I have another one at 3.30 pm... but I'm going to have some girly time with my colleagues at the new Setia City Mall. Hopefully it's an awesome mall so that our family can have a new hangout place. Going to Damansara or KL just for lunch & entertainment isn't good for our time & wallet. 


Ok, that's it for now. Please pray that I'll blog again soon! Ta.

Unkept Promises

You know what, it's that time of the year when you realize 6 months have passed by, but you haven't gotten a lot of things done. 

You broke the promises you made to yourself.

You disappoint yourself.

Just great. 

I think I read somewhere that the worst thing you could do to yourself is to break your own promises. 

Or do I make up the statement myself? Geez, I'm not even sure. 

But it ain't too late huh... 

In this first post in more than 3 months, I'm gonna list down the resolutions that have yet to be successfully addressed by me. 

And as ambitious as I may sound, I'm adding another one:

TO POST AT LEAST ONE ENTRY A DAY ON MY BLOG!

Wouldn't be that hard right? In fact, I can just cheat at this so-called resolution, just like what I'm gonna do, i.e. copy & paste old post and make it look like new... grrrr... 

Ok seriously, I'm gonna do this. 

After all, If I were to really improve my writing skills, writing itself is the essence to success right?

Ok, no. It's a prerequisite. 

Enough of rants. 

With shame, I hereby declare my un-addressed resolutions: 

 

5. To do more research.

6. To write more. 

7. To aim and prepare for PhD

11. To be a better God's servant.

15. To have substantial savings.

22. To contribute more to the community.

23. To 'give' more.

24. To cook more often.

26. To exercise more & work on the abs.

28. To bring eco shopping bag for grocery shopping.

29. To clean the house more.

30. To find a way to sleep more & have healthier sleeping patterns.

33. To improve my brain functions.

34. To remember colleagues' names.

40. To not let Awish watch Sesame Street and Barney too much. 

43. To plan a simple & sweet vacation.

46. To be a better person inside out.  

p/s- As I'm typing this, Awish is doing his somersault on my back, pulling my hair...  and crying his lungs out for more milk. Mannnn this isn't going to be easy.

Last Day...

Today is THE day!!!

Last day of teaching for this semester!!! I just can't wait for the day to be over!!!


But for the semester to end with a HUGE sigh of relief and a satisfactory level of satisfaction, I will just need to endure this temporary suffering of marking endless number of test scripts and assignments.

*marking paper at midnight*

Grrrr...

The Burger Battle

It's been 3 hours I'm lying on my favourite comfy couch at home (ada satu je pon), but the soreness of my feet does not seem to ebb away.

It's uncommon that I get back from work feeling like regurgitating. 

No, I'm not pregnant

Neither did I voraciously binge on anything.

I think I was feeling a little light-headed because I did not really eat much the whole day. 

Macam puasa pun ada because  I had one small meal for breakfast at 7am (Fitnesse cereal), and that's it!

To make things more 'interesting', today I was soooo busy like nobody's business!

Every single minute mattered and my sanity level was steadily decreasing as the clock ticked away. 

I was teaching and conducting innumerable number of tests (from listening, to speaking, you name it!) all day from 830am til almost 7pm! I didn't even get the chance to rest my butt during lunch hour! Just had some seconds of gap between classes to sip some plain water. Gila!!

By the end of the day, I was running out of battery, feelin' a little dizzy and very much charged with ravenous appetite. 

Images of life-size burgers kept haunting my addled mind as my students were banging their heads on their desks in frustration over their inability to answer well in their listening test. 

I believe I had prepared them well for test by booking the biggest CD player ever available in Puncak Perdana, half the size of my work desk and almost as chunky as my thighs! And my students had the audacity to tell me they could not get what the unnaturally slow speakers were saying in the listening text! They had the cheek to ask me to repeat the recording for the third time at 630pm!!! No way!!!

After that, at 630, I met one student downstairs as she needed to consult with me regarding her assignment draft. So yerp, there I was sitting in between huge vases full of weeds and the scents of cats' faeces trying my best to make her understand how her essay had made one of my brain wires snapped! 

I lost all the composure I brought with me to work that very morning.

So, with bleary eyes and stinky clothes, I decided then to head to Burger King drive-thru, wet-dreaming over the ginormous burgers along the journey. Mental images of me indulging in the biggest and sauciest burger ever were clouding my judgment over which one is the D and the reverse gear. 

I drove into the Burger King parking space towards the Drive Thru machine and stopped before the huge menu to make sure I had chosen the most sinful burger ever created. 

Then I drove a bit further to the order-taking machine waiting eagerly for the multi-tasking Drive thru attendant to greet me with fake friendliness. 

I said hello... and hello again... and even Assalamualaikum... 

There was no response. 

I thought the machine wasn't working, until there were a bunch of rempit-material motorcyclists telling me "Burger King dah tutup kak!!"  

I think they really had the time of their lives there looking at how lazy and famished people made a fool of themselves talking to a nonfunctional Drive thru order-taking machine in a deserted fast food outlet.

How did I feel? I felt like cursing all fast food burger outlets for being stupid enough not to have Drive thru facilities in such an urgent incident when gluttony had overridden my body and conscience. Yang ada satu ni pon nk tutup... Eiiii! Bukan stakat Drive thru yang tutup. Dengan the main building terus bungkuss! Haiyaa!

So how did I satisfy my impending hunger?

I ate Seksyen 9 roasted duck. Half duck all on my own. 

Habis cerita. 

Even the usually tantalising itik tasted like a frog's butt at some point. 

Maybe I was just too tired...

I reckon today is just not my day...

Grrr...

Ciao!

The Search for the Sanctuary

"Home Sweet Home"

That's what I always say to Darwish when we get back to our house from somewhere.  

But deep down, I know THIS is not our home... it's just a place for us to live for a while. 

A transition, I would call it.

In reality, to find an abode, own it, and to call it your real home are far from easy. 

We are in the quest of doing just that. 

-Simple, modern, and cosy interior. Our dream.

It ain't that easy peasy, especially when we have so many limitations, in terms of location, facilities, and of course finances.

Well, who wouldn't in the first 5 years of their working life, right?

Thank God that Mr Hubby and I have similar preferences when it comes to choosing our house. We have both decided that a condominium unit would be the most practical choice, considering our personalities (e.g. hubby malas cat umah, I takut creepy crawlies, we want a residence with a reliable security, etc) and of course our pockets.

Nonetheless, I foresee it's gonna be one heck of a journey, especially when we have to deal with a female agent with no pragmatic competence and long armpit hair! Yerp the same agent who helped us get the house we are renting now. If you are an avid reader of my blog, you might remember her. If you don't, read here.

We have no choice but to deal with her since she's THE agent around this area. She's nice but just not so pleasing to the eyes and ears. LOL. 

Please pray that the challenges ahead won't be too unyielding on us.

I will wait for that day when we get to see our names on the paper that certifies our ownership of the home, a haven where we will spend (most) of our lives together. Insya Allah...

Aminn...

-tetiba rindu Victorian architecture macam kat The Terrace, Wellington, NZ dulu

Confounding Confusion

I was a weekend wife. I was a daily mom.

WAS?? You may ask. 

Yerp. That's because this semester has been a bumpy ride that even I sometimes get confused as to what I should call myself.

Think about it:

A few months ago, I got to see my husband on weekends and school holidays. As usual, I would be taking care of Mr Awish alone on weekdays. Ordinary enough!

Then, about a month ago, my mom pleaded that she wanted to take care of her grandson for a while. And since the situations here in Shah Alam weren't that befitting, I agreed. 

After all, Awish was constantly sick. Either it was because of the nanny's home, other kids, the polluted air, cow's milk or ME, I'm not so sure. 

All I know is, Awish needs a break from all this madness. He needs to be at least sick-free for a month to catch up with his developmental milestones. He's pretty much 'behind schedule' (in terms of weight and communicative abilities). Being sick almost all the time doesn't help. 

The situation was also equally burdensome for me. No, my son is not a burden. He never is, and never will be. It's the situation, not him. All I'm saying is the stress I was compressing alone had really taken a toll on my life. I was sooo not used to taking care of a baby, what more a sick baby. And I had to struggle all alone. To see his perpetual suffering wrecked my heart apart. I had tried what I could but it was all futile. 

It was one relentless challenge and I became the enemy of my own self.

It's ironic that people call me a supermom, isn't it? 

But I'm not giving up. The decision made for the break was a requisite move at that time. 

No matter what others might think.  

If you regard me as a failed mother,it's your call.

So there you go. The explanation of why I'm not a daily mom for a month. 

I'm waiting eagerly for Awish to return home, in my arms, in a week. 

I'm gonna settle all my work-related matters, child-proof the home for the super-mobile Awish and clear off my mind from all sorts of stress.

Then why am I not a weekend wife anymore??

Whether this is good or bad, I'm also uncertain. The current situation allows me to see my husband at least 3 times a week. It happens that this semester Mr Hubby has classes in UM on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Good for me! But bad for him, I guess. Imagine the insurmountable level of exhaustion he needs to deal with each week! and it has only been 2 weeks!

After work on those weekdays, I would drive off to UM, fetch him, and have a short and sweet dinner at Pak Ali's gerai in Lembah Pantai. The max time spent would be 2 hours. Then I would send him off to Kerinchi's LRT station, and that's it. By midnight he would arrive back in Muar by bus. And I would sleep alone on the sofa in front of the tv (as usual).

And now I'm sitting alone at home in Shah Alam blogging on a Saturday morning without my husband. He has weekend school-related activities he can't escape. 

So.... 
Weekend wife? Certain days wife? Occasional wife?
Soon-to-be daily mom? Semester-break mom?

Do you have the answer for me?