Daisypath Anniversary tickers

Daisypath Anniversary tickers

Saturday, August 24, 2013

Second Birth Story


It has been 4 months but I still want to put my second birth story into a blog entry. Darwish had one already. and I have to be fair to his lil bro too. One day, my Harith might be able to retrieve this post and hopefully will be reminded of how amazing (and gory) his first life chapter is... and feel blessed hendaknya...

To put it simply, my second labour experience is quicker, more painful, and just as sweet. 

I felt funny like 2-3 days before THE day... Could not really sleep well and kept on worrying about how the journey to the hospital would be like as I planned to give birth in PPUM, where I had my antenatal checkups. They had my records, etc, and I reckoned this would be the best place to deliver my darling. 

On THAT morning, 20th of April 2013, there was some blood show and I was convinced that it's gonna be THE DAY. 

But I did not experience any pain, besides the normal pregnancy discomfort brought about by unimaginable excess weight and backpain. 

Told Mr Hubby about it and we drove to Devi's Corner, Bangsar first for a hearty breakfast at around 830am...hehehe.. Yup, makan lagi penting okaaayyy... The same thing happened when I gave birth to Darwish when we pekena soto kambing dulu on the way to the hospital. Well, I could not eat a lot of things during confinement, so better used the time left before admission and labour to savour real food. 

And on early Saturday morning, the traffic was perfect, unlike my nightmare in which I imagined having my baby delivered by a Traffic Police Officer (macam kat Thailand) on Federal Highway in the middle of jam right at the backseat of my own car!

Then we went to PPUM at around 10ish, and once I told the nurses about the blood show, they immediately told me that I would automatically be admitted, pain or no pain... Just like my first experience earlier too. 

Of course there was this Vaginal Examination (VE) that I hated, because as far as I could remember, it was a very uncomfortable experience. But this time, not only that, it was super painful!!! Macam manusia yang tak reti wat VE je dorang ni...To me, it was a reflex that I lifted my bum upon such gruesome pain, but of course I was scolded by the female doctor saying that I should not do that... Dalam hati, "ko kot tak reti wat VE", this is not my first time...!

Then they said that I was not dilated yet... So I simply stayed in the ward waiting patiently for the REAL pain to come. 

After 2pm, I started to feel a few mild contractions that were pretty much bearable. Of course they were getting more intense and regular... I kept on timing the interval spacing but still managed to perform my Zuhur Asar prayers alhamdulillah. Right after my Asar prayers, I requested the doctor to perform the VE again. Despite the pain, there was no other way to go about it and be admitted to the labour room without one. 

At first they did not want to check, stupidly following what's written on their textbooks perhaps... that I SHOULD have contractions at this and that time. So I simply acted a bit dramatic, konon2 tgh sakit sangat and tak tahan... Yes it was painful everytime the contraction struck, but it was still bearable to me yang konon2 had pretty high pain threshold. 

This time, the VE was performed by a different male doctor. Stillll, it was painful to the max... I concluded that PPUM doctors did not have the right skills to do VE. huhu...

So I was 4cms dilated. Good enough to go to the labour room. That was around 6pm...

So as usual the nurses put straps and whatnot on me and asked me to lie on my left side, saying that it will ease the pain a bit. Then they all left me all alone. The doctor said she would come back to see me at 9pm (yeah right).  

So did the body position help to reduce the pain? TIPU kottt.. Sakit gakk... This time, I got the chance to use the gas. Did not request for it..I guess that's how things are in PPUM.

At first I thought, wowww this thing worked, it distracted me a bit by allowing me to focus on the nice things I have in life along with unending zikir n surah simple2 that I knew. 

After an hour or so, I felt WORSE... no amount of gas or breathing techniques could help.  I was in toooo much pain that I was practically turning and tossing violently on the bed. The well articulated zikir earlier semua hancur jadi mumbling yang tinggal only Allah, Allah je.... The BEST thing was, NO ONE was there...Yes, hubbies are not allowed, BUT korang yang dibayar gaji and patut monitor aku ni pi mana...???? blahhh je tinggal aku sorang2 sakit gile...haaaaa...I was pissed off! In Muar hospital dulu ada gak sorang nurse dok tunggu aku pegang tangan aku lap peluh aku semua... Kerajaan gak!

I kept pressing on the emergency button for what to me seemed ages but no one came..I could not stand the pain, so I simply yelled like a crazy momma "Nursseeeeeee tolongggggg". Then only a nurse came and I told her to give me the so-called pain reducing jab or anything at all coz I just could not stand it anymore... Even during Awish's waaaay milder labour experience too I realised that I was just soooo not into this natural drug-free birth 'myth'...huhuhu.. So she gave me the jab and off she went to God knows where... 

In half an hour or so, the pain did not seem to subside. Thus, again the same thing happened: I pressed the button-no one came- I yelled- the nurse and a doctor came in... Finally they checked and I was already 10cms dilated! and the baby's head could already be seen. No wonder the pain was soooo unbearable that I seriously thought I was either gonna pass out or die...

If I didn't shout for help, I could have given birth on my own just like that and hissshhh I could not imagine what would happen. 

Then they asked me to push and whatnot just like what you usually watch on TV, but I was like a little bit dizzy, the effects of the useless painkiller I think. So, I could not really focus on the doctors' and nurses' directions, like I could during the birth of Darwish 2+ years earlier. Even at that pushing stage, during which I should be lying down at not be moving about that much, I was still tossing and turning and of course lifting my bum in the effort to manage the pain.. Surely the doctors bising lagi cakap "jangan angkat punggung jangannn.." But of course dalam hati I was like swearing... coz if only I can control the pain, of course I wouldn't be doing that either.. I was very much aware of the possible effects. But I did not have that much choice! 

Yeah, so much for having high pain threshold!

Takde la cam time Awish dulu, leh berlagak macho senyap je time sakit... Now I know the real deal of giving birth, and it isn't pretty! 

Perhaps it's because Harith was heavier? Or just dosa makin bertimbun....? Wallahualam....

Eh back to the story.. So after a few minutes of pushing, tossing and turning, and pushing, and silently swearing all the smartypants in the labour room, Alhamdulillah at 8.23 pm, I finally gave birth to a 3.08 kg baby boy who was 7 days later named Muhammad Harith Irfan bin Saiful Izwan. 

One of the stupid nurses had the cheek to comment right after my baby popped out that "Eh apasal baby tak nangis ni??" and I was like... whattttt??? Apa lagi la dugaan ni... Ya Allah2... risau gile... and right after she said that terus Harith nangis.. I felt like throwing my whole chunk of placenta to her face for freaking me out like that!

and then of course the third stage of labour which was just slightly more bearable than the pushing baby out part itself..During which... the male doctor kept on nagging me as my 'wrong method' of giving birth forced him to do more 'cleaning up' afterwards.. Eh memang kerja ko kot... Cuba ko beranak skali tengok!... 

During that third stage,  Mr Harith was on my chest and yes, we tried bonding mata bertentang mata during our first BF session despite me still being in the tingtong mode since the real effects of the painkiller had just kicked in. Just like during Darwish time, the painkiller effects were a little too late and I was so sleepy, tired, and dizzy, that all I felt like doing then was REST!

Basically, I feel that my second labour was 3 times more painful than my first experience. 

The pain and the medical officers were successful at making me feel even more bodoh this time around for not being able to do all that I should during that stage, as stipulated in medical books. Buweeeekss!

Annnnddd, clearly I don't suggest you people to go to PPUM to deliver your beautiful babies. Yes, konon2nya they are experts, blablabla..but from my experience, almost all the doctors and nurses that I dealt with were idiots. Can you imagine that they only called my husband to come to see me and baby more than 1 hour after delivery time??? Anak aku agaknye dah sempat dengar korg mengumpat suami kat umah and artis tempatan bagai agaknya sebelum dapat diazankan.. Bengong.. Yes, I am still extremely angry up to this day. 

I was still bengong2 when my husband came to see me. and 2 hours later when I woke up, I was already in the ward, with my baby nicely bundled in the hospital crib by my side. 

And, I feel that they did not respect my requests and concerns throughout all the labour processes. Helllo, just because you have your medical degrees does not mean that patients' understanding and worries over their own bodies do not matter! Korang bila dah deal with too many cases at the same time and penat 24 hours tak tidur agaknya, so kenala take into account what we say too. We only have our own bodies and problems to remember in such a situation. So trust us too and make necessary actions. And for God's sake, the emergency button is called an EMERGENCY button for a reason! Never in my life I felt sooo helpless!

The ward was pretty new and in an acceptable condition but all the wards are the same, with 4 beds and two toilets to be shared.  No privacy there and surprisingly all the sinks are clogged to the point I did not even know where and how to wash my hands!!! The toilet was not cleaned often enough that I had to endure a very challenging situation just to perform my basic needs in the toilet when someone else's urine and pubic hair were happily scattered everywhere! 

Even when we were discharged the next day, we requested for a wheel chair and the nurses simply pointed to where they kept it, so my husband had to take it himself from the store room, submitted his IC at the counter, then he wheeled me down to the ground floor, we all waited at the lobby for Saiful to get the car from the parking area and drive it right to the lobby entrance, and after all us were settled in the car, Saiful had to run back up as fast as possible to return the wheel chair to the store from which it was taken and retrieve his IC. Phewwww..

In Muar Hospital, a nurse actually accompanied us up until we got into our car and then took the wheel chair back to where it belonged. Kan simple tu? 

Itu belum lagi for the fact  that they should not have discharged us in the first place since Harith was susceptible to infections at birth, and pediatricians should have monitored him first before letting us go. But not even a single pediatriciam came to our bed despite bugging the doctors in the post-labour ward for a few times. 2 days later, Harith actually had a fever and had to be hospitalised for 8 days. Tau nak halau orang je.. Sigh.  

So yeah, NOT my best decision. 

and stupid me, what made me think PPUM was that good if UM itself is an utter joke. huhuh...

Thank God I had a beautiful baby in my arms, that simply made all other worldly matters not as important.

Alhamdulillah...


-4 months old-

Wednesday, July 03, 2013

Muhammad Harith Irfan. A miracle.


I know blogging seems to be a biennial activity for me now, but at least this post assures you that I'm still alive with all my fingers intact.

Soooo many things have happened since the last time I blogged.

The BIGGEST one has to be the part when another human being came out from my body.

Yes, I gave birth to a healthy and chubby (by my standards) 3.08kg baby boy named Muhammad Harith Irfan on the 20th of April 2013 (4 days earlier than EDD), at 8.23pm at PPUM, KL, despite all odds... Alhamdulillah..

The odds? Too complicated too be detailed out here. 

Suffice to say that I had months of unstoppable bleeding and was told that I had high risks of having a miscarriage, an infection (me & baby), rupture of the placenta, and a pre-term labour. Clearly, kuasa Allah jauuuuuhhhhh lebih hebat dari doctor's predictions.

But for the fear that all those could actually happen, I kept the pregnancy to myself except from family members, a few close friends and colleagues, of course. The bump was too big to go unnoticed at the office. 

To many, it may be a surprise that I suddenly gave birth, when many might not even know I was pregnant.

The truth is, the baby was a surprise to us, the parents, too.. If you know what I mean. ;)

But, Harith... he's just a perfect gift that we didn't know we wanted. Until we had a sneak peek of him through numerous ultrasound sessions and of course when we saw his real self before our eyes on that magical day. 

Looking at him, we know that he's a gift that we've always wanted all this while. Subhanallah...

He is strong. He's a survivor. 

Obviously he's determined to see this world, defying all worldly rules. 

A meaty piece of miracle from Allah indeed. 

A summary of what had happened from Harith's D.O.B:

20.04 - Harith happily arrived in this world, ready to breathe in the world's pleasant vibes and fight world's vicious challenges. 

21.04 - Discharged from the hospital.

 23.04 - Harith was feverish and had jaundice. Warded in paed ward PPUM for 8 days for antibiotics and phototherapy.

24.04 onwards - Mama & Ayah was struggling to find the perfect name for him.

26.06 - We named him Muhammad Harith Irfan bin Saiful Izwan. :)

02.05 - Went back to Kedah for a proper Pantang period. 

03.05  onwards - Checked on Harith's jaundice levels every 4 days at the nearest medical centre.

13.05 - Went to Kedah Medical Centre (KMC) to check on his jaundice levels and for some urine tests.

05.06 - Went to KMC again for an ultrasound KUB session, as instructed by PPUM.

19.06 - 2-month checkup. Harith's weight was 5.3kg. *happy*

24.06 - Returned to Shah Alam, to get used to life here and establish a real daily routine before I start work end of this month. :(

25.06 - Went to PPUM for a follow-up. Had to do yet another urine test and made an appointment for another ultrasound KUB session and follow-up with a renal specialist in July. *wek*

Life's been challenging yet peachy these days with this new addition in our lives. 

Alhamdulillah. 

I felt Allah's power in my tummy and saw the miracle growing for 9 months, and further witness the unending love it has showered us with, for the past 2.5 months. 

Muhammad Harith Irfan is the epitome of a pleasant surprise. 



Friday, December 28, 2012

Uncertainties...

Although I clearly would not have any feelings whatsoever about the start of the 2013 school session, the 2nd of Jan 2013 is nerve-wrecking for me too, for completely different reasons. Don't know whether to look forward to it or not. What shall be discovered on that day may change our whole lives but I'm trying my best to have a positive outlook on life.

2012 has been one heck of a year although it hasn't even ended yet. Full of lovely and not-so-lovely surprises that never fail to confuse me: by putting a smile on my face yet engaging my whole brain into unstoppable thoughts on life uncertainties. Lucky me, I have my Hubby and family's undying support.

Thus, there's no room anymore in my brain and heart to think about petty things in life. Nothing and no one can and should make me feel bad coz I have had just about enough. No need to complicate trivial matters that require simple solutions. I seriously have more important things about the future to ponder upon.

All I need now is Allah's guidance & a tiny bit of miracle. Insya Allah.. Aminn ;)

Sunday, July 22, 2012

THE NEW & YOUNG PARENTS' ESSENTIALS

My substantial almost 2-year parenting experience (most of the time alone) has granted me with the credibility to come up with the following list, THE NEW & YOUNG PARENTS' ESSENTIALS. Before I actually list them all down one by one, this list will only be of relevance to you if:
  • You have never had any real experience taking care of any babies at all.
  • You are one lazy bum.
  • Most of the time, your motherly instincts (if any) don't work.
  • You feel like pinching your cute baby's cheeks every time they bawl.
  • You get panicked easily for the most trivial baby issues.
  • You only think a crying baby is cute for the first 10 seconds. 
  • You love to have a shower longer than 2 minutes, with the doors closed.
  • You tend to have that lifetime-long guilt every time your baby falls. 
  • You don't fancy having bouncy kids at the rear car seat as you drive. 
  • You'd love to do your toilet business in peace, with the doors closed.
  • You tend to become half-human for lack of sleep. 
  • Your baby loves throwing food more than eating it.
  • You are an absent-minded person.
  • You are a  relatively young parent who is constantly tired after working hours.
  • Your baby picks up everything and puts everything (except fresh and delicious food) in his/her  mouth.
  • You love a smooth shopping experience.
  • You don't have a maid or helper, or other family members to help you out with. 
  • Your parents are faaaaar awayyyy...
  • You want a cleaner house.
  • You are a cheapskate.
  • You freakinly want a life!

If you've said YES to all of the above, indeed you NEED all of the following items to facilitate your new adventure in the world of babyhood:

1. PACIFIER


I used to think that bra was the best invention in the world. I've changed my mind. PACIFIER beats all other inventions in the world thus far. The world is a lot more peaceful without unnecessary babies' wails and whimpers. Best of all, pacifiers or soothers now come in a lot of shapes. I've chosen an orthodontic one for the fear that Awish will go all jongang

2.  BABY SWING/ROCKER/BOUNCER

This is one magical item I tell ya... If you have a baby who possesses a wide range of voice pitch levels, put him or her in this miraculous staple appliance and wallaaaa your baby will magically turn into one sweet angel who looks as helpless and as peaceful as someone who is in a trance state. An electric one is practical too if your baby takes a longer time to sleep. But don't forget to turn it off once your baby is sound asleep. 


3. CAR SEAT

This is one essential item in your car, especially if you are usually driving only with your baby together. Driving while holding a baby on your lap is just grossly unacceptable. And even if you have another adult with you in the car, it's not exactly safe, should an accident happen. Sometimes you and the other person/people in the car also would love to have your hands free to scratch your body and pick your nose.

And an average one that is not too cheap and too expensive would already do it. As long as it's sturdy, has some kinda warranty, and you can easily go to the manufacturer, should there be any spare parts that need replacement. And buy one that can be used from 0-25kg for example. Then only you can save up and not buy one every year as your baby grows.

And you must start putting the baby in the car seat as early as possible. If he/she is not accustomed to the whole idea of sitting at the back alone, all buckled up in a reverse position, then you will have a hard time later commuting from one place to another. 

4. BABY STROLLER

No matter how masculine you are, how strong your backbone is and how muscly your biceps/triceps are, you tend to get all achy after a few minutes/hours holding your baby. and your baby isn't going to sit still. He/she will usually toss and turn as everything around them is just extremely fascinating. So please do all parties a favour by putting your baby on a stroller. Your baby can happily view the new intriguing world around him/her and you also can shop and stroll away with more ease and sanity. And you need to practise putting him/her in it from the beginning. Then only the baby will feel that he/she has no choice but to sit still in it. 

But if you are still expecting, I suggest that you do not necessarily have to buy an expensive stroller. Unless the features are really superb, you don't have to waste too much money on this one item. A cheap one would already be sufficient. Mine is only RM200+ but has served its purpose well for the past 21 months. We have not only carried our baby in it, but carried a newly bought microwave (with my baby still sleeping soundly in it), items to move out and move in a few months ago, and the usual weekly grocery items in it (sometimes Awish even holds the cucumber for me if there isn't enough space). Don't succumb to peer mommy pressure, unless your baby really would only sit still in an F1-branded stroller..

5. BABY MONITORS

This is an item of grave importance to all parents who care about your baby's safety without disregarding your digestive health. Believe me, you will get all cranky if you can't even perform your basic human rights with a peace of mind. It's really not funny to be going back and forth between the toilet and your baby's crib to check on him/her, just to see that they are happily asleep and you end up having constipation.

6. BABY CARRIER



Worked wonders for me and my baby, especially when he's in his cranky mode where both pacifiers and my own horrible version of lullabies didn't work. If you do not like the idea of having a baby swing, maybe this would help. But be ready to walk around the house for an hour or more until your baby is completely asleep. Once he/she is, wait a few more minutes until he's truly dozed off and remove the straps the gentlest way possible or else he/she will wail again like someone has just burnt his/her butt.

7. PLAYPEN


The playpen is also another godsent item ever created. It may not be as nice-looking as a proper wooden crib but it's safer with softer materials, should your baby fall in it. And a cheap one is already good enough. Now it's even cheaper, as you can even get one less than RM 100 in TESCO for example. If my baby isn't cranky and is in a very playful mode, it's better to let him play in the playpen as you can still do your 'business' without having to drag him/her all the way to the toilet and force him/her to witness the whole ordeal.

8. CHILD SEAT

 Yerp, you need this. Not just for meal times, but also whenever you don't trust them to walk around the house when you are just truly tired. Leaving them on their newly functioning feet when you are all burdened with fatigue is never a good idea. You might doze off unintentionally and God knows what they will do and where they will go. And my baby specifically loves to put everything in his mouth. The more dangerous that thing is or the more stale the food is, the higher the possibility that he'd put it in his mouth. So although ideally this method isn't exactly healthy either, but if you are just too exhausted, put the baby in the child seat with some toys and play an educational DVD for them to watch. Better than discovering that your baby is all swollen from a nasty fall, right??
The IKEA Antilop baby seat is the cheapest that I could find in the market. That explains why most gerais and restaurants alike would have this type in their eateries.

 9. DVDs



Yes, some people might think these are supplementary items, but they are VERY important to me. My baby is a fussy eater and knowing that he could eat 10 x more while watching DVDs, I just let it be a part of his routine. He'd be just too fascinated and will just nganga  when I feed him. He is terribly underweight so if DVDs work for him, so be it. There are just a range of activities that you can do if your baby is very mesmerized with all the animated effects shown. I can get a lot of household chores done, get some time to read newspapers, and do all sorts of other things possible. The list is endless. I know human interactions are of utmost importance. Of course I do that too. 

I play different DVDs for him based on his interest and also based on the types of things I want to get done. So the more things I need to do, the longer the length of the DVD is, ranging from Sesame Street (20 minutes - to read 1-2 articles), Barney (40 minutes - to do the laundry and wash the dishes) and the Chipmunk movies/ Rio (90 minutes - for a spring clean of the house). But, you've gotta be cautioned with the possible addiction on TV your baby might have. And for that, you need to anticipate that your child will not talk as fast as other babies of the same age. And don't be annoyed that you yourself might end up memorizing the whole film's dialogues and songs and the songs could be stuck all-day long in your head wherever you are!. Please remember to never let them fall asleep on the chair. Pity them, sakit tengkuk. There's always the baby swing to further save the day!!!

10. BABY WALKER

I bought one only after Awish has learnt to walk. Pretty ironic but I had to buy it because I didn't fully trust his newfound walking abilities and I was constantly too tired to fully monitor him and walk with him everywhere. I bought a cheap one too at TESCO and he has never fallen from it or anything. So I suppose it's OK. My baby loved strolling around the house in his walker and doing the bumper-car acts in all directions. 

11. BABY BACKPACK

I got this bag from a friend as a present. This exact shape and colour. It's definitely a more organized way to put all your babies' stuff whenever you need to go out of the house. And usually you have other things to hold on to, so don't buy the baby bag that you need to hold with hands. A backpack would be a lot more practical. With this, you can hold your baby as he/she walks with one hand and hold the trash you've been wanting to throw for days with the other one.

12.  PLASTIC BOOKS

Yup, if you have a baby like mine who loves to eat books more than reading them and more than eating real food, you need to get the plastic material books. It's water- and saliva-resistant and your baby can even read in the bathroom! (as if!). You can go crazy over a range of such books at reasonable prices at BookXcess at Amcorp Mall.

13.  SHOPPING TROLLEY BAG



This is important especially if you always bring a lot of stuff to work and you need to carry the items and your baby both at the same time. And it's essential too if you go shopping only with your baby. So you can always hold your baby with one hand and hold this trolley with the other. I even put Awish in the trolley bag when I'm just too tired. He loves it!


14. PRE-INSTALLED TALKING TOM APPLICATION

In an event where you have decided to walk into a nice restaurant but your baby starts to whimper after you have ordered,  spoils the whole romantic mood, and embarrasses you with soprano-quality cries, it's time to let your baby explore your phone and go all abusive with the talking cat. I was hoping he would talk to the cat more than actually hurting it, so you better monitor you baby's violent nature.

15. BABY PLAN APPLICATIONS

I am so absent-minded that I can't even remember the amount and frequency of the medicine I normally take. Thus, there's no guarantee at all that I will remember my baby's. Being a fussy-eater, 80% of the solids that my baby takes are supplements, and I need to remember them all; the amount, the frequency, etc. And his immune system was rather bad too, so I had to remember so many drug names, the dose and whatnot. Thank God he's a lot healthier now. Nonetheless, I benefit a lot from all sorts of planners available on my phone. There are a number of planners specifically invented for forgetful parents like me (last meal with time, last diaper change, etc) but actually normal planners would do too, as long as you put all the important things in a form of a daily checklist.

16. POTS & PANS

If you have a baby like me who does not appreciate Fisher-Price sophisticated toys, just give them enough pots and pans to play with. Put all of them which are not breakable in the lower cabinet and they'll be so amused by them all that they will not bug you for at least a little while. Straws and spoons are Awish's favourites too.

17. A DASH OF HUMOUR.
For without it, life is just too much to handle.


Ciao!

P/S - Reckoned that a portable DVD player would help too whenever we feel like dining in a fancy place, but maybe it's a little bit too much huh?? huhuh...

P/P/S - A robotic vacuum would be wonderful too!! My house is constantly in a mess no matter how often I clean. waaaa... but I miss Awish tremendously now. ... grrr...

Thursday, July 19, 2012

PALAM

I think my relatively young & kunun2 sweet (buweks) face may have lead the management of my workplace to think that I'm ok with whichever campus they want to place me in. 

That is the only logical explanation I could think of as to why my placement for teaching keeps on changing every year. 

1st semester  : Asasi Law (Main campus) - no room, no desk, no 
                         guidance, & VERY pregnant. Surau was where I 
                         merempat...

2nd semester : All mixed-up in 3 different faculties (Main campus &
                         Sek 17) - still no room & desk, & even worse since I 
                         had to drive back & forth between the main campus  
                         and the Sek. 17 campus on certain  days.

3rd semester : TEKA faculty (Puncak Perdana campus) - a lil further 
                         and the flight of stairs leading up to the 5th floor was 
                         excruciating, but the comfort of having my own room  
                         in an apartment-like classroom far outweighs all  
                         other drawbacks. 

4th semester : TEKA faculty (Puncak Perdana campus) - all happy &
                         even declared that I wanted to retire here.

5th semester : PUNCAK ALAM campus!!!!! My worst nightmare 
                        came true!!!!!!!!

Words can't even express how devastated I felt to be placed to an even further place to teach. For God's sake, I live in Sek 9, send my baby to the babysitter in Sek 7 and have to only then drive all the way to Puncak Alam!!! Altogether around 35kms one way, at least 70kms every day. I used to only refill petrol for my car once in 8 days. Now, once in 4 days!!! and yes, no mileage claim yer....

But when I knew that there are some people who live even further than me and still being placed in Puncak Alam, I just shut the fudge up.

This is just plain RUTHLESS. 

Let me just share with you here the pros n cons of teaching in Puncak Alam campus, or more famously known as PALAM among students.




What I love?

-The room : pretty ok, with a nice office mate to talk to and gossip with.

-The friends : Oh fyi, all this while, it was very rare for me to really meet my colleagues during working hours. I was never placed at the same teaching place as my close friends. Most of the time, I was alone, & only met my students during teaching hours. So the beauty of PALAM is it allows me to really socialise with my friends as our rooms are just next to one another. It's good to finally have friends to eat, tease & laugh with while working.

-The modern infrastructure : In the midst of nothingness, there is PALAM, with seemingly modern buildings and talking lifts. It's a lot better looking than any other places I have ever worked in.




-The clean toilets and rooms : The cleaners are efficient and nice. This is evident from the clean surroundings, rooms, and toilets. At least I don't have to go eiiii and aaaaarrrgh like I did in Puncak Perdana since I shared the toilets with students and only God knows what they ate...

-The students (boleyla...): The students are mostly attentive, studious, and motivated to learn new things from me.

What I hate?

-The journey : Urgh! I dreaded to go to work everyday because of this. To save a little fuel (if not it would be almost 50kms one way), I had to take the Meru route from Sek 7 Shah Alam to PALAM. But the journey is just crazzeeeeyyy!!! The drivers seem to have gotten their licenses from a different planet, especially KKs (clue: I can be racist sometimes). There are lotsa potholes -- almost every 50 metres, there are more lorries per square feet than any other places on earth, and once you reach the Meru area, it seems like you are suddenly flown back to the past in the 70s and every single thing changes into the Sephia mode. It sometimes feels as if I am driving in a third world country that doesn't seem to even have flushed toilets technology. And suddenly it dawns on me, heyyy this is still Selangor!!! and the place is even worse-looking than any other kampungs I've ever been! Third world facilities & third world minds on terribly congested roads. URGH!!!

-The super-slow lifts : Yes, the lifts have that irritating & scary voice of a woman telling me the level I am at and the documentary about PALAM and all, but they are slower than snails! It takes 10-15 seconds for the doors to open everytime the lifts reach a particular level. The lifts just drive me bonkers especially when I'm already late for class & there seems to be people coming in and out at every level. And now the nearest lift to my office is under maintenance pulakkkk! waaaa!

- Finding parking : It can be quite a challenge, especially if I arrive after 9 am. When I have just had it, you would see my car being parked a few centimetres away from the rubbish dump. grrr...

- Big class : For the first time, I have to teach in lecture halls since there are generally 60 students in a class. Gila kan? and I have to allocate 10 minutes before the class ends just for the students to salam and cium my hand before they go. I didn't ask for it, but it has become some kinda culture among UiTM students. I used to love this but not with 40+ female students!!! I feel like I'm half Justin Bieber and half Datuk Seri Najib for the honour given, and like a burning monkey whenever I really desperately need to go to the toilet or leave for something important. 


- Lack of facilities : Certain lecture halls may seem perfect with  lcd projector system, nice upholstery and whatnot, but some others are just painfully not-maintained well.  I have a class that is conducted in a stuffy lecture hall with no mic, dysfuctional lcd projector and an overall system failure that does not allow me to even unroll the projection screen back up. So yes, the projector can't be used and I need to make use of only one third of the whiteboard to teach all my 60 students at a time who don't even feel like being there. And sometimes there are perverted technicians who disrupt the class with annoying remarks through the lecture hall's PA system. Boleh lak berfungsi system and speaker tu tiba2!! Urgh!

-Inefficient maintenance : This is related to the previous point. I made a complaint about the lecture hall from Week 2 and it's already Week 6 now. Nothing is done yet to rectify the problem. 

-The students: Sometimes they can be irritating if all they care is scoring in the exams and MUET. There's more to life than just exams kids!!! This situation sometimes discourages me from conducting fun lessons coz a few of them may give a 'Duhhh' look as if we're wasting time... grrr...

The students call this "Tangga Kejayaan' - 300++ steps up to their hostels.

That's all that I could think of now.. I'll add more once I remember (I'm sure I'll update the list)... 

All in all, my friends keep me sane in PALAM... 

Ciao!



Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Rambles all the way

I have broken too many of my own vows that I vow to never vow again... (make sense?)

My life plot has been worse than a roller-coaster ride, and I think it ain't going to be any predictable either in future years.

That's good I think.

It could be boring if everything is pre-determined and turns out to be exactly the way it is planned. 

That's a little too fictional, don't you think?

The ups and downs of my life make me the person I am today.

Cliched? YES. True? A big fat YES.

The worri-less moments as a kid, the confusing stage of a growing teenager who was challenged with some adult issues & consequently grew up a tad too fast, the studious yet rebellious secondary years , the phase of deciding about the future below the legal age, the trauma of an auto accident and the overt and covert impact it had on me, the experimental and identity-searching period of a young adult, the point when I decided that the love of a man could reside in my heart,  the time when my career options went a little haywire, the pressure of getting a Masters qualification just to survive life, the rite of passage towards a spousal bond, the point when God decides I could rear a child, the desperation to learn marriage responsibilities, the confusion that maternal instincts sometimes do not exist/work, and now is the time when I still can get very confused about life. 

When you have your family around you, yeah, frankly you get very tired trying to satisfy everyone's needs, sometimes at the expense of your own -- more than what your body and mind could actually take. Sometimes your tired mind and physique take over your logic and conscience, to the point that enough is enough.

But without them, like tonight, I feel pretty useless and admittedly, very lonely. Exhaustion aside, my boys phenomenally fill my heart with warmth and purpose. 

I guess sometimes it takes a day off of motherly and wifely duties for you to be able to ponder on the real meaning of life.

 
 Ciao for now

P/S- But without Awish, I can finally blog! hrmmph I don't sound so motherly, do I?


Friday, June 22, 2012

Aiyaaa!

Oh boy!!! I broke my own promise!!!! One day right after I vowed to actually blog daily!!!! Waaa, this is a terrible start, isn't it? Ok, I've gotta make up for this by posting two entries today!!!! (Will I???)


Ok, for today, nothing much. I just ended one class in Puncak Alam. I will blog more on that, I mean the fact that I'm here in Puncak Alam, the experience, the students, and whatnot. Later, ok?


I have another one at 3.30 pm... but I'm going to have some girly time with my colleagues at the new Setia City Mall. Hopefully it's an awesome mall so that our family can have a new hangout place. Going to Damansara or KL just for lunch & entertainment isn't good for our time & wallet. 


Ok, that's it for now. Please pray that I'll blog again soon! Ta.

Wednesday, June 20, 2012

Unkept Promises

You know what, it's that time of the year when you realize 6 months have passed by, but you haven't gotten a lot of things done. 

You broke the promises you made to yourself.

You disappoint yourself.

Just great. 

I think I read somewhere that the worst thing you could do to yourself is to break your own promises. 

Or do I make up the statement myself? Geez, I'm not even sure. 

But it ain't too late huh... 

In this first post in more than 3 months, I'm gonna list down the resolutions that have yet to be successfully addressed by me. 

And as ambitious as I may sound, I'm adding another one:

TO POST AT LEAST ONE ENTRY A DAY ON MY BLOG!

Wouldn't be that hard right? In fact, I can just cheat at this so-called resolution, just like what I'm gonna do, i.e. copy & paste old post and make it look like new... grrrr... 

Ok seriously, I'm gonna do this. 

After all, If I were to really improve my writing skills, writing itself is the essence to success right?

Ok, no. It's a prerequisite. 

Enough of rants. 

With shame, I hereby declare my un-addressed resolutions: 
 
5. To do more research.
6. To write more. 
7. To aim and prepare for PhD
11. To be a better God's servant.
15. To have substantial savings.
22. To contribute more to the community.
23. To 'give' more.
24. To cook more often.
26. To exercise more & work on the abs.
28. To bring eco shopping bag for grocery shopping.
29. To clean the house more.
30. To find a way to sleep more & have healthier sleeping patterns.
33. To improve my brain functions.
34. To remember colleagues' names.
40. To not let Awish watch Sesame Street and Barney too much. 
43. To plan a simple & sweet vacation.
46. To be a better person inside out.  

p/s- As I'm typing this, Awish is doing his somersault on my back, pulling my hair...  and crying his lungs out for more milk. Mannnn this isn't going to be easy.

Friday, March 02, 2012

Last Day...

Today is THE day!!!

Last day of teaching for this semester!!! I just can't wait for the day to be over!!!


But for the semester to end with a HUGE sigh of relief and a satisfactory level of satisfaction, I will just need to endure this temporary suffering of marking endless number of test scripts and assignments.

*marking paper at midnight*

Grrrr...


Tuesday, February 28, 2012

The Burger Battle

It's been 3 hours I'm lying on my favourite comfy couch at home (ada satu je pon), but the soreness of my feet does not seem to ebb away.

It's uncommon that I get back from work feeling like regurgitating. 

No, I'm not pregnant

Neither did I voraciously binge on anything.

I think I was feeling a little light-headed because I did not really eat much the whole day. 

Macam puasa pun ada because  I had one small meal for breakfast at 7am (Fitnesse cereal), and that's it!

To make things more 'interesting', today I was soooo busy like nobody's business!

Every single minute mattered and my sanity level was steadily decreasing as the clock ticked away. 

I was teaching and conducting innumerable number of tests (from listening, to speaking, you name it!) all day from 830am til almost 7pm! I didn't even get the chance to rest my butt during lunch hour! Just had some seconds of gap between classes to sip some plain water. Gila!!

By the end of the day, I was running out of battery, feelin' a little dizzy and very much charged with ravenous appetite. 

Images of life-size burgers kept haunting my addled mind as my students were banging their heads on their desks in frustration over their inability to answer well in their listening test. 

I believe I had prepared them well for test by booking the biggest CD player ever available in Puncak Perdana, half the size of my work desk and almost as chunky as my thighs! And my students had the audacity to tell me they could not get what the unnaturally slow speakers were saying in the listening text! They had the cheek to ask me to repeat the recording for the third time at 630pm!!! No way!!!

After that, at 630, I met one student downstairs as she needed to consult with me regarding her assignment draft. So yerp, there I was sitting in between huge vases full of weeds and the scents of cats' faeces trying my best to make her understand how her essay had made one of my brain wires snapped! 

I lost all the composure I brought with me to work that very morning.

So, with bleary eyes and stinky clothes, I decided then to head to Burger King drive-thru, wet-dreaming over the ginormous burgers along the journey. Mental images of me indulging in the biggest and sauciest burger ever were clouding my judgment over which one is the D and the reverse gear. 

I drove into the Burger King parking space towards the Drive Thru machine and stopped before the huge menu to make sure I had chosen the most sinful burger ever created. 

Then I drove a bit further to the order-taking machine waiting eagerly for the multi-tasking Drive thru attendant to greet me with fake friendliness. 

I said hello... and hello again... and even Assalamualaikum... 

There was no response. 

I thought the machine wasn't working, until there were a bunch of rempit-material motorcyclists telling me "Burger King dah tutup kak!!"  

I think they really had the time of their lives there looking at how lazy and famished people made a fool of themselves talking to a nonfunctional Drive thru order-taking machine in a deserted fast food outlet.

How did I feel? I felt like cursing all fast food burger outlets for being stupid enough not to have Drive thru facilities in such an urgent incident when gluttony had overridden my body and conscience. Yang ada satu ni pon nk tutup... Eiiii! Bukan stakat Drive thru yang tutup. Dengan the main building terus bungkuss! Haiyaa!

So how did I satisfy my impending hunger?

I ate Seksyen 9 roasted duck. Half duck all on my own. 

Habis cerita. 

Even the usually tantalising itik tasted like a frog's butt at some point. 

Maybe I was just too tired...

I reckon today is just not my day...

Grrr...

Ciao!