i am eccentric. but there are times when i am more eccentric than usual.
like NOW.
the most apparent way of detecting this is when i (dengan penuh tak malunya..) begging people around me for something that ppl usually give sincerely, without pressure.
such as when i purposely asked (forced) my mom and a my *ehem* to convince me that i was beautiful..juz to boost my self-esteem when i was down.. hahaha..mesti depa mnyumpah tul kena mnipu...hahaha.
now i'm begging for ur support. pleassseeee tell me that i CAN do it!!! waaaa...
i desperately need REAL SUPPORT!!! even tho u think otherwise, pls lie for me...hahaha...
waaaa... gelong lagi neh.. tata...
bridazzy's countdown
Friday, March 27, 2009
Thursday, March 19, 2009
Discovery
why do i always end up more stressed out than others when assignments are piling up.. ??
i finally know what exactly my problem is, all this while...
1) i am NOT naturally intelligent. I need AMPLE time to think about sth..
the prove? --> i will fail miserably if u ask me to share my views spontaneously. impromptu speech or writing is not my forte.
another prove? i submitted a 'cincai' one-day preparation assignment in welly bfore, and got a C! thank God it carried just 10% weightage. but to know that i got the lowest mark in the class was utterly depressing!
thats y i always need to start doing my assignment like 2-3 weeks earlier than most 'normal' ppl.
although i know that i dun have inborn intelligence, i do have innate DETERMINATION.
this has been the only factor that drives me towards all my seemingly unreachable goals all my life.
which relates to the 2nd problem of mine...
2) my motto: to do my BEST, and expect the WORST. haha
if i simply aim to pass, then i wudnt have been this stressful i reckon... but i value quality above all else. and this bugs me. seriously. sometimes i wish i cud just submit a crappy piece of shit and feel ok about it. after all, in the end, there's not much difference between a mediocre student and an excellent one. the same freakin degree will still be mine. but i just can't. this is a disease.
enuff of this..better get back to work, and try to do MY BEST...
waaaaa
i finally know what exactly my problem is, all this while...
1) i am NOT naturally intelligent. I need AMPLE time to think about sth..
the prove? --> i will fail miserably if u ask me to share my views spontaneously. impromptu speech or writing is not my forte.
another prove? i submitted a 'cincai' one-day preparation assignment in welly bfore, and got a C! thank God it carried just 10% weightage. but to know that i got the lowest mark in the class was utterly depressing!
thats y i always need to start doing my assignment like 2-3 weeks earlier than most 'normal' ppl.
although i know that i dun have inborn intelligence, i do have innate DETERMINATION.
this has been the only factor that drives me towards all my seemingly unreachable goals all my life.
which relates to the 2nd problem of mine...
2) my motto: to do my BEST, and expect the WORST. haha
if i simply aim to pass, then i wudnt have been this stressful i reckon... but i value quality above all else. and this bugs me. seriously. sometimes i wish i cud just submit a crappy piece of shit and feel ok about it. after all, in the end, there's not much difference between a mediocre student and an excellent one. the same freakin degree will still be mine. but i just can't. this is a disease.
enuff of this..better get back to work, and try to do MY BEST...
waaaaa
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
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