The UnFathoMabLe ME...

Missin' the Muffin'

2012-02-13T23:26:00.001+08:00

Words can't fully express the unfathomable dilemma of a new mom who's very much inept at dealing with babies. The closest phrase to express my deepest feeling right now is:

"Ada pun susah, Takde pun susah..."

*SOBS*

The Power of Powder

2012-02-12T21:34:00.001+08:00

I feel like writing a review on all sorts of powder I have put on my face thus far (I know, this comes out of nowhere kannn?). Well,this is not for promotional purposes, seriously. I just don't have other ideas to blog about. And since I've promised to myself that I would blog more, so here it is:

CAUTION: This entry may only be fully deciphered by femme sapiens.

SILKY GIRL - Magic BB Powder Foundation.

I think this is the cheapest powder foundation I have ever used. I can't really remember if it is a 2-way foundation or not, because I rarely use a wet sponge to build the coverage of the powder after all. It really isn't that bad for a foundation powder that costs less than RM20! It may not be 'magical' as the name suggests but it does what it should, i.e. modestly cover imperfections and uneven skin tone. But one needs to be careful when applying it because you might end up looking too 'powdery' and 'cakey'. A perfect choice for those who want to achieve a natural finish but do not have a fat wallet.

MAYBELLINE - Angelfit 2-way Foundation.

I admit that I am a sucker for Maybelline makeup. Perhaps, because they constantly come up with quality products at affordable prices. It's a mid-range makeup compared to the cheaper SilkyGirl and the high-end Clinique, Bobby Brown, and whatnot. The same average quality applies to this foundation powder. It comes in cute pinky compact case and refills are available (which explains why I was quite loyal to this product for quite some time). It has better coverage than Silky Girl's foundation but it does not last that long either. Re-application is needed throughout the day. But it does give you the hint of glow, as promised.

MAKE UP FOR EVER [MUFE] - Duo Mat.

Before this, this product was my HG powder! (yeah, not anymore). It has a lasting coverage, without a cakey finish. You will look au naturale (I mean your face) and pretty awesome in pictures. And yes, as promised (from the name itself), it gives you an overall matte finish that does not seem overdone. You do not need to be a professional to use this. It's quite easy to be applied (I used it during my wedding outdoor photoshoot). You do not need to use a wet sponge to build the coverage. It covers blemishes too! Need I say more?? The only drawback of this product is the price (duhhh). More than RM 100 kottt.. Would definitely re-purchase if I have extra bucks.

BODY SHOP - Mineral Powder Foundation.

This was my first investment in a mineral makeup. There was so much hype about it in 2008 that I decided to give it a try. It was ok... It was nice actually, I mean the finish. In fact, it has those illuminating properties that will make you glow. But it is just not that convenient because to me it's still a type of loose powder. It's just that such mineral makeup claims that it won't clog up the pores. It's quite a hassle because I have to use a kabuki brush each time, dip and blow excess powder and etc.. Not really convenient especially when I need to touch up my makeup in public places. But it was worth a try. Now such mineral powder is ubiquitous that you can even buy one for less than RM 20 (e.g. AVON).

AVON - Ideal White 2-way Powder Foundation.

It's quite ok... Quite cheap for a 2-way foundation with whitening properties. This was my foundation for the past 3-4 months. But the person at the boutique did not really know about shades and stuff. I think I had bought the shade a tad lighter than my real complexion. Thus, I had to control the amount of powder applied so as not to look like a geisha.

REVLON - Beyond Natural 2-way Powder Foundation.

Nothing special. Really. Pretty pricey for a drugstore powder foundation that does not even have refills. I bought it just because I was mesmerised by Jessica Alba's beauty. Yerp, I'm a victim of powerful and ingenious marketing, haissh!

SEPHORA - Mineral Compact Foundation.

This is what i'm wearing now. Half the price of MUFE's foundation. A lot more natural. And the fact that it is 'mineral' makes it an even more tantalising (and smart) purchase. And it's COMPACT! How convenient! Its coverage may not be as good as MUFE but for normal daily use, Sephora's is surely more practical. And the coverage is buildable and controlled via its 2-sided sponge (look at the pic above). It gives a silky and luminous finish to your skin. In short, I'm totally in love with this product. It's truly worthwhile waiting for Sephora products to be sold in Malaysia after all! Will definitely pay more visits to Sephora store when my wallet is fatter. *grins*

That's all the review for this entry. Although actually there are many more powder foundation that I have used in the past since puberty, but these are the ones that somehow or rather have made a big impact on my life (for all the right and wrong reasons.lol). As you can see, I have tried all sorts of products in all range of prices. I believe in the future, with the advancement of beauty technology, there'll be more powder foundation that promises the world (or even the impossible) to the consumers.

Wallahualam...

The Resolutions. The Comeback.

2012-01-30T00:01:00.004+08:00

(In Random Order)

1. To resume blogging.

2. To blog more.

3. To read Reader's Digest religiously.

4. To read (everything) more.

5. To do more research.

6. To write more.

7. To aim and prepare for PhD (Confirmation, IELTS, placement, etc).

8. To combat stress.

9. To be a better mom.

10. To be a better wife.

11. To be a better God's servant.

12. To present more at academic conferences.

13. To be a better educator.

14. To find more money for family and individual use.

15. To have substantial savings.

16. To minimise credit card use.

17. To drink more water.

18. To have healthier eating habits.

19. To regularly take supplements.

20. To wash, tone, & moisturise my face before sleep.

21. To take enough fibre.

22. To contribute more to the community.

23. To 'give' more.

24. To cook more often.

25. To not forget to spray perfume before work.

26. To exercise more & work on the abs.

27. To make more friends and develop more connections.

28. To bring eco shopping bag for grocery shopping.

29. To clean the house more.

30. To find a way to sleep more & have healthier sleeping patterns.

31. To revive my energy level.

32. To remember friends' birthdays.

33. To improve my brain functions.

34. To remember colleagues' names.

35. To not take Nasi Lemak for breakfast every morning.

36. To not munch on cheese at midnight (current activity).

37. To not do any career-related tasks at home.

38. To browse Facebook less.

39. To play with Awish more.

40. To not let Awish watch Sesame Street and Barney too much.

41. To indulge more in good food.

42. To de-stress by having more facial, spa, meni & pedi sessions.

43. To plan a simple & sweet vacation.

44. To develop a real hobby & interest (besides karaoke-ing).

45. To disinfect the house and everything in my life.

46. To be a better person inside out.

47. To not just be any better person but to be, as quoted from MYSELF, "a person with grounded wisdom, holistic insights, and wholesome values."

Ciao.

4 years DRIVING experience

2011-10-26T11:01:00.000+08:00

I have a love-hate relationship with driving...

How incredibly humane and immensely cruel humans are can be witnessed when one is behind the wheels.

This is particularly pertinent now as I've turned into a driving mother.

Safety is of utmost importance now.

And now that I'm a mother, I have come to realise that I'm becoming angrier on the road. No one can bully me anymore!

Not that I have extreme road rage by trying to knock everyone that does not please me to death...

It's just that I have the habit now of staring angrily at other drivers who do not give way to me on purpose or honk or tail-gate me from behind without any apparent reasons...

I have also showed my ~~small~~ fist once to show my dissatisfaction to an impatient driver at the toll plaza. (I am not the kind of person who would show my middle finger. That would just put me at the same level as other lunatics are. Not a fan of displaying or uttering any elements related to humans' genitals. huhu... After all, we were all somehow created from 'there'. Why people swear with those words just goes beyond my comprehension.)

Just to quote a few examples...;)

The mentality and attitude of many Malaysian drivers are worrying. I think it's not an overstatement if I say the majority of Malaysian drivers are inconsiderate. Those sweet little ladies and pious ustazs can turn into devils once they hold the steering wheels. Amazing...

Nonetheless, here are some random thoughts I have relating to cars, motorbikes, driving, and roads:

Many Malaysians have the habit of slowing their cars if there is an accident or breakdown that involves other vehicles on the road. Not to help, but just to observe out of curiosity, to copy the numbers of the unfortunate vehicles (untuk lottery kot), or to just swear and show their angry and dissatisfied expressions to those unfortunate people who have caused massive traffic congestion. Engkorang igt diorg tu nak sangat ke accident atau kereta rosak. Cuba la tolong ke, kalau xde masa pun, lajukan la kereta, xyah nk nyibuk sgt..Korang yang buat jem tu lagi teruk.. My hubby's car once had a breakdown on the highway, yang tolongnya Mat Salleh... yang orang2 lain marah2 and buat bodoh ada la... Bengong.

I think every time I'm accelerating and there's a junction on my left, my car automatically flashes "Please Drive Right Before My Car" signage, although there're absolutely no cars at all behind me. Kacau momentum orang tauuu... Grrrr...

There are also morons who do not know how to park their vehicles nicely. You'll be denying other cars' rights to park next to you just because you parked beyond the lines. Urgh. And even more ignorant are those who park at the handicapped spot. If you do so, YES you are mentally 'handicapped' too. Are you really sure you won't be handicapped in the future. You might need that spot one day.

Many bus/lorry drivers just drive me nuts. They are always bullying other smaller vehicles on the roads, putting our safety at stake. Sebab tu lah Allah tentukan ko bawak lori je. Akal tak cukup!

My car has a curse. Within 30 minutes after its monthly wash, droplets of water will surely fall from the sky....

I can deal if male drivers follow my car too closely from the back or honk endlessly even when 'Baby Onboard' and "Mama-to-be" stickers are clearly displayed at my rear windscreen (although it shows that you are a jerk!). But a woman?? I wish u'll be barren forever coz u dun have any compassion!! (P/S - I know I'm not a mama-to-be but I was one and could be one anytime, who knows!) -Ko nak cepat sangat, keluar la pukul 5 pagi tadi!!! Jangan bahayakan orang lain!

It's funny when a male driver who's nicely driving at 80km/h on the left lane suddenly accelerated his car and joined me in an 'illegal race' just because he saw me overtaking his car. Weird. You want to have your own sweet time, Go on!!! Sexist and egoistic indeed...

It's sickening when I'm waiting patiently to go out from a junction when there's a car coming on the main road... and it turns out he/she actually is going into the same junction I'm at!!! Patah signal ke???

I think some car models consume fuel or run out of battery if the driver gives signals to indicate their direction. I'm no mind-reader! And there's no point giving signal AT THE MOMENT you are switching lanes or right at the junction. The whole purpose of giving signals is you want to inform other drivers what you ARE ABOUT TO DO, not only what you ARE DOING.

It's also annoying when you have impatient drivers behind your car when you are going out from a junction. Of course we need to ensure first if it is safe to go out. But these impatient drivers would honk you endlessly like you are some kinda idiot, as if I'm asleep at the junction. You want to die fast go laaa... Aku banyak dosa lagi...

If you want to drive recklessly and cutting people off however you wish, go join the F1 race la. At least if you do not get to brake on time and bump into something, you will be the only one who's injured or dead. And don't assume I can hit the brake right on time if you suddenly switch lanes in front of my car in a blink on an eye without any signal. The worst thing is, If I 'kiss your butt', I will be blamed by the police no matter what! So please fix your attitude or go on and buy your own road. Coz as far as I'm concerned, it's not just you who pay your road tax.

If I'm nicely driving in the middle lane, around the speed limit allowed, please do not tail-gate behind me. There' a thing called the right lane (overtaking lane). And just so you know, my son is rear-facing (in the baby car seat) at the back seat. So, if you do not have enough time to hit the brake in case of emergency, I can't imagine what would happen. One thing for sure, I won't forgive you forever! (That's what the stickers are for!).

It's even funnier if you see people speeding like crazy, 'weaving' left and right on normal roads (not highways). Overtaking me skillfully like they have been possessed by cheetahs and end up stuck just 5 metres in front of me at the traffic light junction. Hahaha...

Some people like to cut queues, not just in real lines, but also on roads. Malaysia's traffic is most of the time chaotic and congested. It's unfair if you keep on jumping queues. But they forget, whilst they are queue jumping on the roads, others might be queue jumping them in other encounters too, without them even realising. For example, it should have been their turn getting a job, place in the university, or tender but Allah Maha Adil, others might take their spots in return. Karma.

I don't understand people who love to display signage indicating their royalty and loyalty to certain certain states on their plate number. Does that mean you are better off than others? So even if you are 'royal', do you pay extra amount of road tax than we do?? Just to get immunity from summons? Heck.

What's with flashing high beam just so that you get to drive at 200km/h on the right lane?? Yes, it's the overtaking lane, but I'm already driving at 140km/h, for God's sake! and I need to ensure that it's safe for me to switch to the left lanes first before I could move aside. If you don't care about your safety, that's fine. But I DO care about mine and my family's! Go drive an aeroplane la!!

Dear motorbike riders, please do not text message while riding!!! It's beyond human physical ability to ride, balance, view the roads, and compose a romantic message all at the same time!

Oh and please dear bike riders, we drivers do not have four pairs of eyes!!! Do not lane hog or weave through the roads here and there assuming that we can see you. Bila terlanggar skit, jeling orang bukan main... cuba la buat prangai civilised like in other western countries, where bikers have just the same amount of rights and rules on the roads as drivers do.

If I am a little slow at the Tunai lane at the toll plaza, deal with it! Not everyone has the skill of rummaging through handbags and small drawers in the car for money before reaching the tollgate girl/boy. I care about my safety. So, if you want to go super-fast, get the damn SMART TAG!!!

Is it a big lost for you if you sacrifice 2 seconds of your time by giving way to people from a junction?? There's a long line at the back of your car and my car. And the traffic light is red in front after all. What difference does it make if you give way to me?? You still can't speed off. Give and take la!

I can deal if I'm in kampung where most drivers would just speed off at zebra crossing when they see people are about to cross the roads. But in universities??? Where most people are educated, and many even have overseas qualifications and experience living abroad?!! Come on la, browse back your driving rules reference book that you referred to religiously before you got you license. Most of the time, no matter where you are, the driving rules are just the same! So please, stop when you are at the zebra crossing when there are doe-eyed people trying to cross the roads under the glaring sun or heavy rain.

You were once a novice driver too. So please be considerate to others who might have just gotten their licenses. The P sign displayed is not for decoration purposes nor is it a license for you to start swearing at them.

And please, the traffic lights were not created just for fun out of boredom. It's for safety and traffic control. Although it's stupid to give this kindergarten-level lesson, but RED is a sign for you to STOP, YELLOW is a sign for you to START STOPPING (not start speeding off like a maniac), and you can just start stepping on the accelerator when you see the GREEN sign. Phewww...

A lot of things can be observed and learnt from the roads indeed.Sighs.

I'm no expert at driving. In fact, although I don't possess the above qualities, I do have other annoying habits too, like putting on makeup at the traffic light junctions, smashing insects on the car windows while driving, and berangan masa tengah drive (These are seriously some of the causes of accidents ok!).

But I believe my above observations are very2 common in Malaysian roads, even amongst those more experienced drivers. It's not only about attitude, but more about safety.

Malaysians are claimed to be courteous and respectful. But why do some of us drive like we are better off than others? Everyone else has his/her own important destinations too.

Is it too difficult to be courteous, patient, and respectful on the roads?

That's for you to answer.

Apologies kalau ada yang terasa.

Ciao!

Projects!

2011-10-07T18:57:00.003+08:00

I have a number of 'projects' in my head... all waiting to be executed until the semester and the marking are over.

Now that they have all been settled, I am eager to start planning the projects.

For now both are involving Mr. Darwish, which are:

1) Darwish's first ever BIRTHDAY PARTY!!!

- For now, what I have in my head is a simple one, involving only friends and families within Shah Alam province.

-By simple, I mean really2 simple. Maybe just some finger food, cakes and desserts. Over afternoon-tea, perhaps?

2) REAL PHOTOS for Darwish (and family photos)

Darwish has never been captured by a professional photographer, except by professional doctors during ultra sound and 3D scan more than a year ago.

I think he deserves to have that experience. So do we!!

We'll se how it goes (The perks of having a bro-in-law with a photography business). ;)

Awish's progress?

-He babbles non-stop every day, seemingly to be using all the combination of phonemes in the world except 'mama'. SOBS.

- He's been able to follow simple instructions, since 1-2 months ago. For example, he can cutely give us one WET FAT kiss on the cheek, if instructed. ;) (and shake2 of course. My baby loves to shake his bon-bon).

-He's been cruising (walking by holding onto something) for a few months, but still does not have the courage to let go of whatever he's holding! I hope he'll be able to stand and walk independently soon.

-Playing peek-a-boo with him is fun..He'd laugh for no apparent reason!

-His weight is still a problem. He has not gained much weight for the past 4-5 months since he's VERY2 active. He has not even reached 8kgs yet!

But now, he has a fever. Quite high that I had to drive to the hospital at 12 am last night. He was given medication (through his rectum) right away and was bathed with cold water by the nurse in the toilet. I didn't have any idea that's the medical way of reducing a baby's temperature. I was also told to let the baby wear as skimpy as possible so that it's easier for the temperature to go down. A total opposite from the traditional Malay way right???

Mr Hubby was considerate enough to drive right from Muar and arrived here at 2 am last night. Thanks!

Now his temperature goes up and down and I need to monitor him closely. Please pray that he'll recover soon.

That's all the update for now.

Ciao!

P/S- Putting medication through my baby's rectum goes sooooo against my nature.. Kesiannya.....

Homework... after 2 years!!

2011-10-04T20:18:00.000+08:00

I attended an OBE (outcome-based education) course in iLQam UiTM yesterday and today. The speaker assigned us one freakin' homework, i.e. to write a letter to anyone about what I've learnt in the first day of the course. Honestly, I didn't really learn much. I'm not sure if it was just me who was sleepy and lazy or was it him who did not manage to capture my interest. Maybe it's just the content of the course. Like seriously, OBE??? How could OBE be interesting in any sense at all??? It entails one to have a rather technical type of brain to be able to absorb its complicated web of concepts, terminologies, structure, execution, application, and of course OUTCOME. I hate anything that is managerial and administrative in nature. Uweks!

So here's the homework that I managed to complete around midnight yesterday, after Awish has fallen deep into slumberland. I figured I'd better share this homework, to make it worthwhile. After all, it captures most of the things that happened yesterday.

I'm not even sure if the speaker will ever read it. Since I don't have anything else better to blog about, I reckoned it's better to just put it here. But it's amazing I could write a rather lengthy write-up, isn't it? But as you might notice, it's not so much on what I have learnt. ;). Most of the words are just meaningless ramblings. and I must admit, rambling is my forte. and don't be misled into thinking that I'm passionate about OBE. You know lah when we write, we need to think about the 'targeted reader'. and in this case, by right there should only be ONE. Nonetheless, this homework makes me realise how much I miss writing. I really should blog more often after this, huh?

And for that, thank you.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Mr Hubby,

It was one heck of a day. It wasuncertain, in every sense. I woke up at 5.00 am, extra early compared to otherweek-day mornings, after one rather sleepless night. Sleepless, becausethroughout the night I was thinking: “I might not be able to go to the OBEcourse tomorrow..Our son’s nanny is sick and I have no one to help me..” “Gosh,I will not be able to understand what OBA and OBG are.” “Heck, I will beblacklisted from future iLQam courses!!!” Thus, I woke up early because Ithought my aunt in Puchong might be able to help me babysit Awish. It would bemuch much easier if you were here in Shah Alam, wouldn’t it?

I contacted my aunt at 530am inthe morning. She then told me that she was sick too. Goshhh...what should Ido?? I started to panic. Nonetheless, I bathed and got ready as if I werereally going to work. Then, it occurred to me that maybe my friend’s nannycould help me out today. Thank God, she really could!

At 730, I drove out from thehouse, heading to the nanny’s house in Sek 7, Shah Alam. She seemed nice. With tawakkal, I left my son in her care andattended the OBE course. I was relieved that I finally managed to attend thecourse but I also felt uneasy throughout the course, thinking how my son wasdoing with a totally new caretaker. I also have some work to do in APB office,so the idea of having to go back and forth APB office and iLQAM (during lunch break and after the course ended) was rathertiring, for both my mind and physique!

I tried to digest as muchinformation as I could but only salient ones were imprinted in my head. Thespeaker, Dr. JJ, managed to re-ignite my memory of what assessment, continuousassessment, summative and formative assessments really mean. He made me ponderon the fact that we have not really been doing much formative assessments inour language courses as grading is much more prioritised than the actuallearning. It made me realise the bitter truth of how complex assessment is andhow difficult it is to measure students’ performance. I kept on silentlyquestioning myself, “Have my students attained what they should have attained?”I want to make a meaningful change in the classroom, but the lessons are prettymuch tied down by pre-determined continuous assessments that are actually quitesummative in nature. And it’s even more complicated as language assessments arequite subjective and involve a considerable amount of impressionisticevaluation.

Another thing that I remembered,amidst all my worries about Darwish (and keying in the marks for my Diplomastudents) is the revised Bloom’s taxonomy. I think the revised version is moreclear-cut and easier to be referred to in preparing a programme/courseeducation/learning objectives and assessment forms. The taxonomy also gives arather concrete guide in preparing my lessons so that the teaching and learningare all aligned to the objectives of the course/programme.

Thus, although my mind wasfrankly moving from one planet to another, I was relieved that I got the chanceto attend the course. Honestly, I could not really remember what I have learntin the first series of the OBE course in January. Thank God, the speaker gavean overview again on the rationale behind the implementation of OBE. No wonderOBE is practised in all tertiary institutions in the world!

Now I have a clearerunderstanding of what OBE is, not only in teaching and learning, but also inassessment. I hope Darwish’s nanny will not be sick anymore tomorrow, or elseI’ll face another round of ‘mental roller coaster ride’ tomorrow. I am curiousabout OBG as Dr JJ said it is totally different from what we are doing today inuniversities.

Love,

Azrin

-----------

P/S- Sorry Mr Hubby, this 'love letter' is publicly published even before you have any idea I had to write all this. ;)

of .... everything...

2011-09-28T17:40:00.007+08:00

I haven't blogged for sooooo long, to the extent I don't even know how and where to start...

The last time I blogged was about 3 months ago, at the very beginning of the semester.

Now the semester has even ended.

There were so many things that had happened within the period of my absence in the blogosphere world.

Teaching...Ramadhan... Syawal... All are over...

Perhaps I should only ramble on those that were salient??

Hrm....... hrmmm....

Ok...Frankly, I can't even recall those so-called salient events...

This is really not a fabulous way to resume a rusty blog, huh??

Virtual nervous breakdown is impending...

Urgh...

Ok, let's talk about the here and now..

This week, I have been marking an infinite number of final exam scripts.

None of the essays tickle my fancy.

They are all very forgettable.

I remember my determination during my degree and masters studies. Every time before I started writing, I would ponder for quite a while "How do I make sure my essay sounds different from the rest of my friends'??"

I forced myself to think out of the box.

Coz I know, language-wise, as students majoring in English language, our language proficiency gap wasn't so big; all were of about the same level.

That was how I survived, although I didn't have exceptional language skills compared to others.

Thus, reading boring essays from students with good language skills makes me utterly disappointed.

Nuff about that...

I don't teach degree students, but this semester, for the first time, I am given the responsibility to teach degree e-pjj students. Meaning, students who are working full time and taking degree programmes on a part time basis.

The first class I had with em was last Sunday.

It's even more nerve-wrecking I tell ya!!! Imagine teaching some students who are as old as your mom and dad!!!

But surprisingly, they were all very attentive and well-mannered.

The classes are only conducted once in 2-3 weeks. Only on Sundays, for 4 hours. I will only meet em 5 times up til December. Phewww. Thank God..

I was also told that this time, I will be on the MUET team for marking listening and writing components. Alhamdulillah for the opportunity. I hope this experience will enable me to mark more systematically in the future, and it should later be easier for me to provide tips and guidance on MUET to my own students. Not to mention, Alhamdulillah too for the $$$$$. :P

I think the above ramblings are good enough for a person whose brain has gone cuckoo for God knows how many times this semester.

Better stop now before my son chokes on carrots.

Ta...

p/s- one of the reasons I didn't blog for months was because there was a problem with my netbook; I could not click on the 'Publish' button. How depressing!!!

THE Conference

2011-07-25T19:54:00.018+08:00

The 13th International Conference on Translation.

That's my first ever involvement in a REAL conference, both as a participant and an AJK.

It was co-organized by Academy of Language Studies, UiTM (my workplace) from the 19th to the 21st of July 2011 at Concorde Hotel, Shah Alam.

Yeah it was during the mid-sem "break".

What's cool about it???

The FOOD of course..hahaha..

-Taken from Yaya's blog. Tq!-

What didn't I like about it???

Hrmmphhh...nothing much... it was tiring for sure, but it was a good experience and exposure for me...

-From Yaya's blog again...heeee...-

Now I know how people actually present papers in a conference.

Not as intimidating as I thought it would be!

Well, maybe because I was not the one presenting. I was just the Pengerusi sidang for two sessions of all 6 parallel sessions conducted.

I was supposed to be one of the MCs for the bigger events, but i guess Allah loves me too much.

My voice projection was deemed unsuitable to be an MC because it lacks clarity, mainly because I have a "serak2 basah" voice. Barulah aku sedar suara aku ni serak rupanya...ahahaha.. The way our voice sounds on the microphone macam lain kannn?? Thus, I was told that my voice is more suitable for singing, not for MCing a FORMAL event. Blame it on too much of karaoke-ing sessions!!! hahaha...

but Alhamdulillah.... one ginormous burden was thus lifted off my shoulders. ;) If not, I would have rosakkan majlis for my naturally clumsy attitude. and I don't think spontaneity is my forte in such a formal event especially when formal Malay language is expected to be used. And one more thing, with a newly scarred forehead, and the face of MC being projected on the screen of almost three quarter the size of a GSC screen, I would not know where to stuff my self-confidence to. Normal face-to-face interactions were hard enough. Mencacatkan permandangan je... Grrr....

Being the pengerusi sidang was pretty nerve-wrecking too actually for a first-timer like me... But after a while, I got used to it, especially when I realised that I did not have to be too formal. Although it was more of a bidan-terjun job, but I'm happy. Kalau orang asalnya tak tarik diri, I would not have gained the experience at all. So one session in English, and another in BM... oklaaaa...

Their project papers, nonetheless, were primarily focused on translation; NOT my forte nor my interest.

Hrmmm what else did I do besides being a pengerusi and eating....??

Oh yeah we went for dinner on the 19th night, sponsored by MOE!!! Eh tu kira makan la gak kann??? Haiyyaa....

Here is one picca of us at the dining table:

The food was pretty scrumptious... It was pretty boring at first coz the event started at 8pm but we could only start eating at 930pm!!! Imagine how famished we were!! Kena dengar macam2 ucapan, from the organizers to the Minister of Higher Education. And with Awish being left at the babysitter, I was feeling a little uneasy throughout the night. Nonetheless, I was glad that I attended the dinner. Not only that I got to eat expensive food, but I could mingle around with more people and got to know that the minister was actually quite cool. heheh...

Oh on the 18th, I did help a bit with the programme book for the dinner. Simply helping my mentor and the gang folding the paper and stapling the lucky draw number onto it...

Too bad I wasn't that lucky... :(

In short, our supposedly one-week break of teaching turned out to be even more tiring than the usual teaching itself.

But yeah, I have learned a lot... and at last, I got to match a lot more names of APB staff to the right faces.

Yerp, I have trouble doing that. Remembering people's names is not my forte either.

Semua tak forte, abih tu apa je yg reti??? huhuhu....

Ciao!

Menuju Punchak!

2011-06-22T18:24:00.012+08:00

Yerp, hari2 daku menuju Puncak...

Puncak Perdana... that's my new teaching place this semester.

The pros:

I am given a personal office room.
I can decorate the room!!!!
I don't have to move from one class to another since students are the ones who come to me during classes.
It's comfy coz it's just like a homey apartment. The living room is where the classroom is, and the bedrooms are the lecturers' rooms. And there's a toilet that I can use in the house itself, and a pantry.
I have no parking problems. There are plenty of parking spaces.
No traffic congestion like the main campus.
I can stock up Maggi, biscuits, and bread here. I've brought my kettle. Thinking of bringing my rice cooker too!

The cons:

It's further from home, compared to the main campus.
More time means more fuel consumption.
My son's babysitter lives in Sek 7 Shah Alam, so more time (as well as fuel) is needed everyday to send and fetch my baby before and after work.
That means I have to wake up super-early! Kena ada masa kecederaan in case Awish berak nk tukar pampers. Awish's mom is a human too, so need to spare some time for loo business.uhuks.
There's not much civilization here.
It's on the 5th floor!!!!
Because there's no elevator, I'm usually left starving here, just because I am so lazy to go down and take up the stairs. huhu. But there's always Maggi to save the day!!!

There are only a few courses taught in this small campus. I am teaching in F.A.C.T (Faculty of Artistic and Creative Technology) or in BM, TEKA. Some examples of courses are Diploma in Screen, Artistic Writing, and Theatre.

Most of the students are very weak in English. Very weak to the extent that they don't even understand simple instructions in English, and the worst case is when they still don't understand after I have explained in Malay!!!

I guess orang seni ni susah kot nak faham new concepts that aren't in their field of study... hrmmm

I also have to teach one whole class full of repeaters. Every time after class I'd feel all dizzy, coz simple concepts that would usually take at most 30 minutes of class time would now take 2hours to be fully explained tu pun kekadang still tak paham... Sangat letih...

But, no complaints lah, since they still want to learn. I hope they will not need to repeat the paper again next semester.

And as I am not confirmed yet in the job, I'll just menurut perintah huhu...

So far so good. And I'll be here for a year.

Ciao.

P/S- Tak sabar nak decorate bilik... huuhuhu..

DREAMS

2011-06-14T11:35:00.011+08:00

I don't know why. It makes no clear-cut sense.

But my trip to Bali last week makes me feel like I need to travel more and DREAM more.

I started to google up on 'the top 10 places to visit before you die', but different websites suggest different places.

So I'm left confused.

Where should I visit? What should I do with my life??

So maybe it's better to plan out what I want to achieve; my short- and long-term plans.

After all, according to a motivational speaker whose course I attended in UiTM last 2 months, those who materialize their dreams are those who actually write down clearly what they want in life.

I don't have my notebook with me at work today. So perhaps I could just roughly outline what I want and need to achieve in my life. My DREAMS.

I'll refine it later.

SHORT-TERM GOALS

Fix my laptop and external hard drive. I believe there are gazillions of UiTM viruses in them.

Read all the novels that I have bought aeons ago. They are dusty.

Buy a GPS. Face it, I NEED it...

Visit Cash Converters and browse through the things that I need. Reality bites: Cash Converters store IS where I belong.

Take all my unsewn kain pasang to a reliable tailor.

Eat healthier food and find ways to become shapely without having to go to a gym. I have terminated my gym membership due to financial instability. Grr...

Prepare a proposal and send it for Dana Kecemerlangan approval-for confirmation.

Be confirmed in my job! pleasy plzzz....

'MEDIUM'-TERM GOALS

Get a freakin' PHD! Overseas (hopefully).

Get promoted to DM52 (related to the above point).

Produce another baby. LOL.

Stabilize my income with an alternative money-making business.

Go for Umrah at least or Haji je terus...huhu...

Visit Japan and US.

Become an excellent educator.

Be able to buy what I want without guilt or the need to resort to eating maggi for the rest of the month.

Write research papers and present them at local and international conferences.

Pass BABY 101 course.

LONG-TERM GOALS

Be a professor??? This isn't really my dream. After all I (most of the time) am not an ambitious person BUT... one UiTM professor once said in a course: "The view from up here is nice". This triggers my curiosity.

Be a much much better Muslim.

A SUPER-mom and a SUPER-wife.

Visit all other amazing places. I don't think I wanna go to other south-east asian countries anymore. So maybe India, China, all over Europe, Africa, Middle-East, some parts of South America, Iceland, Canada..etc...

Become an inspiring person and educator who produces amazing people.

In short, I just want to be a better person.

Not any better person, but a person with grounded wisdom, hollistic insights, and wholesome values.

Insya Allah.

A Second Chance

2011-05-18T15:00:00.022+08:00

I knew it was awful...

I knew it was really really bad...

I knew it was one of the most catastrophic moments in my life...

But little that I realised how deep it has affected me...

To the point that every time I wanted to start blogging about it, I paused...

and decided NOT to..

I wasn't ready...

In fact I'm not entirely sure if I'm ready now...

But, I just NEED to let it go...

The faster I could tell this off publicly to the whole world, the faster the healing would (should) be..

I hope...

THE Story

IT happened on the 20th of March 2011.

More than 2 months ago.

I went back to Kedah that weekend to send Awish back to my mom after his one-week stay in Shah Alam during the school holidays. I parked my Viva at the Park & Ride parking bay in Putrajaya Sentral on Saturday. On Sunday I took a flight back to KL.

It was a night flight. I think I bought it because it was a lot cheaper than the earlier flight, I reckon that's the case because it's the end of the school holidays.

From KLIA I took the ERL to Putrajaya Station to get to my car and drive back to Shah Alam. That was the plan. and I had done this so many times since I left Awish in Kedah with my mom after my confinement period, to work in Shah Alam since I could not find a babysitter then. So had to do this once a fortnight.

Everything went alright. I got on the ERL just in time, and hopped into my car safely although it was already 11 pm then.

Wih Bismillah, I started the engine and drove away from the pitch-dark Putrajaya roads to a seemingly another usual fortnightly ritual.

Everything was ok until I got out of the Putrajaya region. I remembered how frustrated I was that I usually got on the wrong route and it took so long (double the time) for me to reach Shah Alam. It was frustrating because it took just 25 minutes to get to Putrajaya FROM Shah Alam. I just could not figure out how to get on the same route for the reverse journey.

That night, I decided to try another route in the hope that I would finally get on the right track.

A wrong decision it was indeed.

I ended up going round and round the Puchong area as I was lost trying to find my way out of there. My gut felt weird but, little that I foresaw what's waiting. After all, getting lost is one of my daily routines. Being Azrin, getting lost is really nothing.

I was sooo lost that I ended up on KESAS highway heading to Sunway.

I sighed when I saw a signage saying there's a toll plaza in 1 km. I was thinking "Dahla sesat, kena bayar pulak...." But, as always I would say to myself "Takpela, dah biasa, ada la kot hikmahnya...". I remembered the song of "Dimana Dimana" by Jac Victor, Ning Baizura, & Shila was playing on the radio then. I was singing to my heart's content to beat the hint of sleepiness that started to creep in. I was doing that as I was calmly driving on the middle lane, ready with the money needed to pay at the plaza. I was damn sure of my path there, as I was on the right lane for TUNAI payment.

Just about 400 metres to the plaza, my body bumped onto the steering wheel! In a split second my brain was trying to send me a number of signals "Hey Azrin your car has been hit by a God-knows-what at the back!!!" "Azrin, you are in an accident!!" "Azrin, control the car or else the car will flip upside down!!!" "Azrin, relaxx you are NOT going to die!!!", "Azrin you COULD die, say your prayers..."

It was bad. A loud bumping screeching sound on the back as I tried to control the car. Actually all that I could control at the moment was the steering wheel coz my car terus terseret for about 200 metres.

I managed to stop my car. Just nice on the emergency lane, inches away from bumping into the sideroad rail. I was sooo focused on trying to control the car, to avoid more serious injuries, and to save MY life that I could not even think of WHAT or WHO hit me. As funny as it may sound, it could have been an alien or a group of FAT naughty ghosts trying to amuse themselves out of boredom.

Well, who would not think of it that way if you get off your car and saw NOTHING around except your badly wrecked car???

I wasn't too fast, I wasn't too slow. It was just illogical how something could have hit me that bad right in the middle of my car rear bumper and gone in miliseconds!

Thank God there wasn't a single car on the left lane then. I don't wanna imagine what would have happened if there was.

Althouh I had safely stopped my car, and I didn't even have a single scratch on my body, my feelings were all ...hurmmm... I don't know, I could not explain.

One thing for sure I was in my most helpless situation in my life.

Terribly helpless. Imagine at almost 12 midnight and no one around to help you and you could not even find the darn cellphone, who wouldn't be???

I went out of the car although by right I know I shouldn't. But seriously, what choice did I have? The smell of the screeching tyres were bad and I was afraid that it was actually petrol leaking and whatnot. Being in or out of the car was equally dangerous, I thought.

All the stuff in the car was in a mess because of the collision. It took me about 10 minutes til I found my cellphone lying right at the back of the accelerator pedal.

How bad was the car? The rear bumper was squashed till the bonet was less than half its original size. Once opened, it could not be closed back. The rear doors were jammed and could not be opened at all. The impact was up til the driver's door as once I opened the front doors, they could not be closed back nicely anymore too. The pelapik tayar yang selalunya atas tayar tu fell off that they hit the road and make a terribly loud screeching sound when the car moved.

I hated to admit then that I was a victim of a classic hit-and-run crime.

Never in my life I was literally all shaken up. With the cellphone in my hands, I quickly called my husband for 'help' in my most trembling voice ever, not knowing what else to do. He's in Muar, my family was in Kedah. I wasn't sure then what kinda of help I could get at that point of time. I refused to call my mom as I was positive she would collapse knowing that I was in an awful awful situation.

Abang instructed me to just drive the car since the the car's engine was not affected. After all,the Polis Peronda office was just 200 metres away (Alhamdulillah). I drove, at less than 20km/h coz I could not stand the loud sound my carmakes as a result of the accident. Imagine lah pelapik tayar tu bergesel dengan jalan TAR. Urgh.

Slowly but surely I managed to get to the Polis Peronda Office. I could not block some mental images of my car exploding as I drove. Alhamdulillah, I then parked nicely and safely down the building. I ran up to the office which was on the 3rd floor and informed the people there for help.

They were shocked when I said that I was involved in an accident just 200 metres away since it was not captured on camera. They all went down to see my car's condition. and they called the tow truck for me. They were quite surprised to see that the car was badly hit but I survived with not a single scratch, not even a sprained joint. Nonetheless, later they told me that they saw a badly wrecked WAJA captured on the camera at the toll plaza as he was making the payment there. Yes, it's a HE..

All the way through, I was on the phone with Mr Hubby. I was afraid to let my fate be determined by these male strangers although they said they could send me back home. Male strangers at 12midnight... Hurm..sounds like a no-no to me...

So I was still helpless. I didn't want these male creatures to send me back home but I had NO ONE to help!!!

I browsed through my phonebook on my cellphone for every single possible number. I tried to find people who lived in Shah Alam but there were very few. After all, I had just worked and lived in Shah Alam for a few months. I only had one neighbour that I knew and I could not blame her for not picking up the phone at that hour. I tried about 3 names of friends who lived in Shah Alam, but no one answered. I panicked.

I then came accross the name of my mom's friend who happened to be living in Shah Alam. I once used my mom's phone so there were some numbers copied from there. I simply called her although I didn't put too much hope knowing she's the kinda person who sleeps early. As I was about to hang up, I heard her voice on the line.

I explained the situation, and she said she could help since her son was at home and knew my whereabouts. Yes I did not even know where I was. I did not know then which highway it was, and which area I was in. The workers there needed to explain to him where exactly I was so that he could come and rescue me from all this madness.

It was already 1 am. Makcik bi and her son finally arrived to help out. Alhamdulillah.

It was embarrassing as I had tonnes of stuff in my car. Blame it on APB for not providing me with an office room/desk that my car had a double function as a mobile office. Still, I didn't manage to take all of the stuff from my Viva as there were just too many. I just took out things that were deemed important. Imagine me tertonggeng2 amik barang at the back seats from the front doors as the back doors are all jammed. All that I was concerned then was my students' assignments, exam scripts, and attendance lists. I simply left my Charles & Keith heels in an elusive hope that I would see them again in the future.

Did I get home?? Not yet. Of course I had to make a police report at the police station. It was already 2 am. After the report was made and explaining the whole thing to the investigation officer there (cam CSI konon), I said bubbye to Viva which was already lying beautifully on the tow truck.

The 'towing-guy' was then called by the investigation officer. Yes dia kena 'paw' ngn pak polisi. Within just a few minutes I saw people taking advantage of my misfortune in a number of ways. The tow truck got to claim lotsa money from my inssurance company and the police got money from the tow truck people. Urgh, disgusting!

I safely arrived home at around 230am. I could not really sleep, lingering in the ambience of trauma, the difficulty I'd face for the next 3 weeks, and the worry of how to explain to my mom about the whole thing.

Usually my mom would call to ensure that I safely arrived home from Putrajaya. Fortunately she overslept that night and only realised that she did not get any news from me at 3 am. She texted me but I refused to respond. I just could not. I didn't know how to word my explanation. Only at 9 am in the morning that I called her. Even with a slow and calm explanation and ensuring her that I was alright, she was terribly shocked and worried. But she understood my situation well. Too bad some people didn't.

Yes, my car was in the workshop for almost a month. I went to work daily by cab for 2 weeks and by my mom-in-law's car for the remaining weeks. How pathetic was that??

As unfortunate as this incident may seem, I had to always remind myself that there must have been something good, something better that Allah had planned for me in the future. It wasn't easy for sure. But I just had to force my brain to work that way. For my sanity...

The first 2 days after the accident I was on leave. My coordinator called it a "trauma leave". At first I found it unnecessary, but after a day at home I realised how much I needed it, and how I actually needed more.

I didn't wash ANY dishes fo almost 10 days for the lack of spirit to do just about ANYTHING. That was when I started seeping in the living room with the TV switched on all night for the fear of loneliness. And the thing is, I still do that up til today.

I was afraid of driving again. But I was alone in KL and the cost of taking a cab everyday is insurmountable. Thus I just had to brave the roads although each minute I feared of being hit by another car again.

All the hassle of dealing with the tow truck man, the dodgy workshop, the cab, and the ups-and downs of my emotions were indescribable. Not to mention the amount of money that 'flew' away, just to make things faster and manageable. After all, I could not claim on my daily transportation cost that arised because of the accident since the person who hit me could not be traced.

I got my car back on the 15th of April. It felt awkward driving my mom-in-law's car the week earlier. But it felt even weirder to drive my own car again. It reminded me of all the things that I didn't want to remember.

I returned my car back to the workshop 3 weeks later because there were quite a number of things that I was not satisfied with.

Now the Green Viva isn't mine anymore.

I have replaced it.

NOT with the intention to show-off to people that I can own another car, coz seriously having another car entails a whole lot of commitment, investment, and maintenance.

But I had no choice.

I MUST move on...

After all, it's time that I drive a sedan with a car boot that can fit my son's stroller at least.

I need a car that has more space between the back passangers and the boot, in case of collision.

I need a safer car that I can bring my family around with more peace-of mind.

And most importantly I need a car to start my 'new life'.

I regard all the misfortune that I had to deal with during that period of time as a gift from God and as a reminder that I need to 'remember' Him more.

A gift because it should turn me into a better person.

A gift because there are actually many positive things that come out of it too. I managed to find a babysitter for Awish, recommended personally by MY cab driver. No more fortnightly long-distance relationship with my Awish. Ahamdulillah...

Although all things have been sorted out and settled, at times I could not help wondering, questioning...:

Who hit me?

Why?

Was he sleepy? Was he drunk?

Did he actually plan to rob me?

Was he trying to reach for money to make payments at the toll plaza and lost control of his car?

I know I would not get any answers for all these questions.

All I know is that if the man purposely hit me with some bad intentions, I hope Allah will find a way to get back to him. It was just unfair.

Nonetheless, I would like to expres my deepest gratitude to my mom and hubby for being supportive throughout the ordeal. And of course thanks to Makcik Bi and Abang Azwan for helping out that night. I don't know how else to better express how thankful I am to all of you... and thanks to friends too who have been helping me in numerous ways.

Hopefully Allah akan jauhkan semua musibah from my life after this.... aminn..

I will fully utilise this Second Chance Allah gives to me to live a life worth living.... insya Allah...

P/S- My Charles and Keith heels survived the ordeal.

P/P/S- Up til this day, I could not happily sing "Dimana Dimana" song anymore...

Darwish-ness!!!

2011-05-12T15:56:00.000+08:00

Hey all..

I've just realized that I haven't blogged for more than a month already!!!

That is also how long I have been taking care of lil Awish on my own (on weekdays). So yeah, maybe Darwish is to be blamed for everything! hahah... Cian Awish, mentang2 lom leh cakap untuk defend diri...

How's the experience??

TIRING!!!!!!!!!!!!

BUTTTTTTTTT.....

VERY fulfilling.

Getting used to the reality of working mothers now...

But still, there are so many more things to learn.

Everyday is a new learning process, not just for Darwish, but for us both...

Looking at his smiles, listening to his giggles, and looking deep into his eyes wash all of my exhaustion away.

The first week of living with Awish was a real challenge since it was the final and busiest week of the semester. I could barely sleep and do any other work!

To add salt to wound, Darwish was really sick. Yes, his breathing problem struck again. And again it's my fault. My sinusitis problem is really affecting him. He has a weak immune system. So do I!!!

So I reckon that I have to strengthen mine first. It's just the two of us most of the time now, so how in the world can I not hold him just because I've been sneezing all day! Of course I need to and I can't possibly control the spread of the germs. I'm not sure Vitamin C would be enough for me since I eat oranges like every day! Need to think of other supplements (or drugs..haha).

The second week was a lot better... Why? Darwish was recovering and my mom was here in Shah Alam to help me out. Darwish was in and out of clinics and hospitals, and I could not handle that situation well on my own. Thanks Mama for rescuing us! Luckily Awish wasn't hospitalised. Also, that week was such a relief as it was the revision week for students. So 'holidays' it was for me!

The third week was pretty under control. I was neither THAT free nor THAT busy.

I had to mark 126 scripts for BEL 311 paper. Thank God I managed to get everything done just in time.

Now I am getting pretty accustomed to Darwish's routine (and naughtiness).

Although I'm still struggling to teach him that 12 to 6 am is when human beings usually sleep, things are becoming a lot easier with the help of electric baby cradle (buai letrik). Thanks Mr Hubby!

Initially I was pretty apprehensive about getting him a buaian since I've been fed with its pros and scary cons from Internet reading and friends and relatives' opinions. But finally we got him one considering that the pros far outweigh the cons. After all, I think every good deed that begins with a bismillah would not cause harm, Insya Allah...

I dunno what else to ramble. I have soooooo many ideas to blog about, but I just could not find the time. Whenever Awish sleeps, masa tu lah nak basuh pnggan, masa tu lah nk basuh kain lipat kain, masa tu lah nak vakum and mop lantai, masa tu lah nk dating ngn hubby, masa tu lah gak nak curi2 tidur...

My time is FULLY occupied now.

Isn't it funny, before Awish was here in Shah Alam, I was soooo dead bored thinking of what to do to fill my time every night. Hahaha...

It's magical how the presence of a single tiny baby changes your whole life.

Alhamdulillah...

Bling bling...!

2011-04-04T14:39:00.012+08:00

My bling-bling days are over.

By that I mean I was an ardent fan of earrings.

In fact I still keep the two earrings stand displays I once adored and treasured so much.

A mall was never safe from my invasion into all the shops selling darling earrings.

People probably could spot that Azrin was 1 km away through the glare of the sun, reflected on her earrings.

I think I am not exaggerating since I was told by a friend once that she could see the shining ray of light from my dangling earrings, dangling happily all the way through the 100-metre race I had joined during my undergraduate days in IPBA.

With the image of Muslimah recently donned (well not that recent, it has been a year!!! more than a year!), I have no longer attracted people's attention, for the wrong reasons, through glowing glares and flaring shine.

The only jewellery items currently worn are my engagement and wedding rings. That's it.

I am not a fan of necklace (it itches me).

Not a fan of bracelet (it's difficult nak seluk lauk betul2 kat kenduri kawen..).

Not a fan of bangle either (it gives the illusion that I'm malnourished).

Thought that I would be a fan of brooches, but I keep using the same set every day to work, regardless of the colour of tudung I'm wearing.

So, do I still dazzle???

P/S- Don't get it wrong. Any intention to shower me with diamonds is still highly welcome, with open arms and feet (err, dun misinterpret this either).

Diamonds are always girls' best friends.

;)

The Commandments of Post-Natal Encounters.

2011-03-23T12:00:00.009+08:00

1. Do give your FULL support to the new mom. We are extremely exhausted, terribly emotional, extravagantly moody, FAT, and in immense pain. Please UNDERSTAND. Please HELP.

2. No matter how stressed up you are, never show your concern to us through anger. It does not solve a thing, makes us cry, and worsens our emotional stability. Face it: No matter how stressful you are, it's nothing compared to the stress of the new mother.

3. There is no need to burn extra calories and waste 5 seconds of your time just to comment on how huge the new mom looks like. We have mirrors. We know how fat we are. It's about time you knock your own head for a wake-up call: A spanking new human being has just popped out of her body!

4. Do not give any comments (positive/negative) on ANY of the new mom's body parts, especially when they are pretty private. It's awkward. After all, we have had more than enough strangers looking at our private parts during pregnancy, labour and post-labour. The only response I can give is "hrmmm..."

5. Staring at my chest when I'm breast-feeding isn't cool either. It has been a sacred, holy, and noble area of my body for the past 26 years. Giving birth does not change its status to a public display.

I'm also not comfortable having a chat while breast-feeding. It's a highly intimate experience between me and my child ONLY (Husband is an exception).

6. Please do not complain that you are damn bored just living in the house. In normal circumstances, new mothers can't go out of the house for freakin' 44 days!!! Wanna compare?

7. Don't dwell on how bad your skin texture looks like. Wanna see my stretch marks???

8. Also, talking non-stop about how concerned you are about your body shape with me isn't helping. Wanna see my flabs??

9. There is no need to ask me the same questions over and over again every time you see my face about why my mom was not around when I gave birth and why I live afar from my baby. Is it to difficult to fathom that there's no sane mother who would intentionally do that to her daughters/sons?? So, there must be a good reason why that happens/ed.

If you ask that for first time, that is simply a normal human reaction. If you ask too many times, it either means you are trying your best to annoy and sadden me, you are trying to make me feel like my mother doesn't love me and I'm also a bad mother, or you simply have an acutely dysfunctional memory system, worse than mine.

10. Whenever you feel like showering us with less-than-respectful words and "kerek" body and verbal languages, being angry with us, or simply ignoring us, please remember our sacrifices, both physical and emotional, in your life. We are mere humans. LOVE us...

~~'Coz you really don't know how much time you have left to show her your appreciation & love. And make her smile & laugh.

xoxo

Shop 'til You Bounce Back!

2011-03-18T18:11:00.006+08:00

I love shopping.

I love the Shopaholic series by Sophie Kinsella.

Enough said.

Yes, you may label me as a typical woman, I don't mind.

But never in my life have I shopped til I 'dropped'.

So I think my love for shopping is still within acceptable boundaries.

I notice that I have a pretty seasonal shopping behaviour.

I used to think that only animals have seasonal behaviours. erks.

By seasonal I mean that I tend to shop for different things at a particular period of time.

Clothes, of course.

This has no real season anyway coz in average I have at least one new piece of clothing each month.

It's just a matter of how many!!

Shoes are pretty seasonal for me. I love heels but to me, they are not as noticeable as outfits. I think people will surely look at your whole outfit first rather than the one tenth bottom part of your body. But I can't deny the fact that the right type of shoes would improve your posture, enhance your confidence, and accentuate your femininity.

The same goes to bags. No, they don't improve your posture, in fact they might pose reverse effects. Haha... They are quite seasonal to me too. I would buy one when the design catches my eyes, regardless of the price. Eh no no. If it's more than $300, I would mentally toss that lusty feeling away. Hehe.. By 'regardless of the price' I mean that I don't care about brands at all. As long as it is pretty to MY eyes, I'd grab it. But of course I have some preferences like those from Charles & Keith for example. I think the bags and shoes are not ridiculously priced., just nice for a newly appointed educator. Maybe in years to come, when I am more financially stable, I'd have wider options. heheh.. For now, average-priced items or even those sold in un-prestigious stalls are perfect for me.

Buying home appliances are definitely seasonal for me. And when this season comes, (moving to a new room/house), clothes, shoes, and bags magically would not look as tantalizing as they usually are. This is the time when I feel like I have turned into my mother, or any makcik figure. But seriously, going to IKEA, for example, will make me go crazyyyy!!! The homey and comfy feeling make me feel like renting 3 gigantic lorries to bring EVERYTHING back home!!!

Makeup is another seasonal shopping item. There was a time during my second semester of Masters studies that I went crazy buying makeup items, that I almost went broke! Hahah..Well who wouldn't be if you buy all the branded items!!! Well, blame it on the stress of Masters studies!!! Name it... mascaras, blushers, concealers, eyeshadows, primer, mineral makeup, lip glosses, brushes, eyebrow pencils, lipsticks, foundation, makeup kit, eyeliners, makeup bag, lipliners, pencil eyeshadows, complexion enhancer. I got all of them!!! But after a while, I lost interest. I realised makeup items are not a good investment since they usually last, at most, 6 - 12 months after the first use. We don't use them all the time, and we don't use them all that much! In the end, all go to waste since they are all expired! Hahah.. So I just stick to the basics: lipstick, lipbalm, powder, eyeliners, blusher, and mascara. ;)

The latest seasonal shopping items for me would definitely be related to babyhood. Since pregnancy, I would be more lustful towards buying stuff for my baby. Anything that is deemed beneficial and cute for my baby, I would be having wet dreams about it. So I guess, my shopping pattern is taken into a whole new dimension as I turn into a momma. You don't think about yourself that much anymore. Instead of solely thinking about 'what looks good on me', I am now focusing more on 'what would be best for lil Darwish'. Selfish-ness: Shooosh Shoosh GO AWAY!!! Yeah, a different perspective on shopping from the eyes of a new mom.

And I'm lovin' it.. ;)

Ciao.

The Mating Season is Back!

2011-03-10T17:31:00.002+08:00

Oh yeah. School holidays = mating season.

But for me there's only one reception I could attend this Saturday, which is Intan's.

I really2 look forward to the wedding.

Not just to celebrate the love of a newly married couple, but also to meet my fellow IPBArians!!!

I haven't talked to some of them for years!

I hope many could make it.

Will be bringing Awish.

The first wedding ceremony attended by Darwish of course. hehe...

PD here I comeeee!!!!

Hectic

2011-03-06T20:03:00.006+08:00

It will be one hectic week for me starting tomorrow.

There are heaps of things to be done:

(1) My Teaching Portfolio

-I didn't touch it at all for the past 9 months. Mentang2 lecturers do not have to prepare real lesson plans, I've been neglecting this file by shoving it under my car seats for months. I'm afraid the superiors will ask for it when I'm being observed. Oh yeah, I'm not sure when I will be observed. Yikes!

I really need to start compiling whatever that is needed in there starting, hhrmmm...tonight?? errr....

(2) 3 sets of BEL test papers to be prepared

- I'm not sure at all of how I'm supposed to do this. But I just have to. The deadline is 28th March 2011. I need to get at least the first draft done by this Thursday. You'll know why.

(3) Lesson ideas as usual

- I'm running out of interesting teaching ideas. Not that I'm trying to blame anyone. I'm losing the passion a bit too. It's just that the students this semester are seriously not that motivating. I miss teaching Asasi Law. :(

(4) Oh yerp, Darwish is going to be in Shah alam again!

-This is the reason why all of the above need to be done FAST! He's coming this Thursday!!! Yipeee!!! I want to cherish every single second I have next week with my little lollipop. ;D

(5) Installation of wooden flooring in my rooms

- Darwish has serious allergy to dust, just like me. And when I'm infected, he'll be too. It's heart-breaking to see my baby coughing non-stop and has trouble sleeping when this happens. That's why I requested my landlord to install wooden flooring in the rooms to replace the existing cheap double-layered carpets. They trap dust like crazy and worsen my sinusitis symptoms, i.e. sneezing, runny nose, etc.

The thing is I'm not sure if the new wooden flooring pieces can be installed before Darwish is here. I really hope so. I don't want him to suffer at all, again... He's suffered too much. Seriously. It just worries me because I'm working til 6pm mostly, and I don't know when in the world can the people come to install those things. Waaa!

Ok, I'd better be relaxed.

Nothing gets done by worrying right?

hrmmmphh....

Not working!

Successful?

2011-02-28T19:15:00.011+08:00

Do you consider yourself successful?

How can we define and measure success?

Who's the judge???

The scroll? The university awards? The community? Our family? God? Our own damn selves?

Truth is, it is a VERY subjective matter.

Although you appear to be rich, smart, and respected, you may be perceived by your own family members as a total jack-ass!

For me, I reckon my success so far has only been judged by the scroll, awards, certs, and...hrmm... that's it I guess!

I can't even decide on my own level of success yet.

Maybe I never will..

Yes, I'm a lecturer who had some strings of As during my undergraduate and Masters studies.

But does that define who I am?

I don't think so.

I have no real contribution to the community. I am not a member of any organizations, what more having special posts that allow me to contribute immensely to the public. Not that I intend to have any.

To my family? I'm far from them, and financially, I still don't think that I've contributed enough.

Now that I have a husband and a son, the idea of success is even more prevalent.

Am I a good wife? Am I a good mother?

I struggled a lot after birth in different areas of motherhood.

And I am still struggling hard.

Thus, If I am the only judge, I'd say that I'm not successful yet in these two significant roles.

Not that I feel I'm a failure, but just, not good enough.

I have always dreamt that perhaps in 10 years or so, my son will come to me and say "I love you mama, and there's no other woman I'd rather have as my mom besides you"

Amongst friends, am I good enough? Personality-wise?? I'll never know.

It dawns upon me that it's even more difficult to achieve success in my everyday life.

And it's even more nerve-wrecking to know my 'performance' in the eyes of our Creator.

If only there's an online application that we can access to check our on-going marks for the After-life.

No certs, no awards, no scroll...

It saddens me that I'm not successful in the areas that are actually the most important.

In the end, the As don't matter at all..

The Masters degree and the PHD qualification can't be used to measure our REAL success.

How to conclude all these questions???

I don't know.

I'm just hoping that as days go by, Allah will continue giving me Hidayah so that I'll succeed di dunia & di akhirat.

Insya Allah...

The Kingdom of Love

2011-02-23T09:13:00.038+08:00

I am currently in a retrospective mood.

It is thus justified to recall back how the kingdom of saiful-azrin-hood was built.

2003:

End of 2003 [End of Foundation programme].

1) It all started from a short and an innocent message (I'm not sure how innocent it is on his side tho') sent on Friendster. Thanks to this pic:

2) Continuous replies on Friendster. Non-stop chatting on YM. No real face-to-face conversations yet.

3) One of the later YM conversations involved the man confessing his feelings.

4) The girl said: "Let me think first... why don't we become real friends first at least? Come on, we haven't even talked to one another in the real world. Gimme some time please..."

2004:

Early 2004:

1) January 2004: First 'date'.

2) March 2004:

Girl: "Ok I've decided!" "Tapi tunggu la dia tanya btui2 dulu, I don't wanna do this over the phone or virtual world"

2 weeks later...

[Setting: Food Court Level 3, Mid Valley.]

Boy: "Boleh cop ko???"

Girl: "Errr, ok...."

Ok dah couple! hahahahah....

March 2004- December 2005:

* Di alam fana chenta...

January 2006 - June 2009:

*Stealth & teman-tapi-mesra mode.

2009:

1) 6th June: Engaged!

2) 11th December: SOLEMNIZED!

3) 12th December: Reception Kedah

4) 19th December: Reception Muar, Johor.

5) 30th December: Honeymoon - London & Paris (til 5th Jan)

2010:

1) Somewhere between 1st and 4th Jan: Conceived (I was unaware of this) and lost it! Blame it on Disneyland Studio's Tower of Terror)

2) Jan 2010: Feeling all funny and sluggish. Conceived (again, didn't realize it & didn't even know when exactly the conception took place.)

3) February 2010: Double line appeared on home pregnancy test kit. Went to the doctor to confirm pregnancy."Yippeee! I'm pregnant!" Darwish was the size of the full stop here.

4) August 2010: I was VERY pregnant.

5) 15th October: Delivered Darwish safely. Alhamdulillah.

2011:

1) 15th February: "Darwish is 4 months old!"

2) Current: Happy and contented with our life although we are not living together yet.

3) Mr hubby is just as sweet as (or sweeter than) he was before marriage. Alhamdulillah. May Allah bless us always with lotsa rezeki and true happiness.

Hopefully the hubby will always remember our journey together from the beginning too, and cherish the sweet memories we have lovingly shared.

And love me unconditionally even when I am all wrinkly and suffering from all sorts of menopausal symptoms in the future.

With a smackin' new product of our love who had recently popped out of my body, this journey will perhaps be even more peachy as days go by, insya Allah

Aminnn...

;D

* I may upload more relevant pics later, especially those taken before 2005. The piccas are in Kedah. Need to scan them first.

New Semester???erkss...

2011-02-23T00:11:00.015+08:00

I think I haven't written anything yet about my experience in UiTM in this new semester.

This is my second semester teaching in UiTM.

Not as blurry as before but there are still a number of things that worry me, especially those that are related to the confirmation requirements. Tak sabar nk sah jawatan, nk apply loan umah and whatnot..huhu

Will blog specifically on that later after I've attended the Taklimat Perdana on Research Expedition Thursday next week.

I LOVE UiTM. but there's just one thing lacking, i.e. there's no proper briefing for us newbies in UiTM. Most of the things that are important for our work are learnt through words of mouth or by independently clicking away through UiTM websites and staff email.

This situation is made worse by the fact that I don't get a room here, whereby there are colleagues around me to inform me of what's important. Thank God there are still a few friends who keep updating me of whatever that is deemed important, although they are not teaching in the main campus. Thanks peeps!

I think a simple briefing on confirmation procedures, rules for lecturers (attendance, attire, attitude, how to deal with students' absenteeism- forms to fill, etc), replacement classes procedures, how to use the facilities in the uni and fac, etc, would be beneficial.

So far I'm learning all these either on my own or through friends, or simply by crashing through the Fac's Dean Office since there seems to be different rules in different facs. Fortunately, I am the kind of person who loves to annoy the office and ask all sorts of questions. I even panjat office Bahagian Latihan UiTM on the 4th floor masa pregnant just to know the procedure untuk mintak pengecualian kursus induksi umum. And yes, I spend a lot on phone bills to call numerous offices in UiTM about all sorts of things.

But still, I'm surviving well. ;)

It isn't so bad this sem since:

1) I am not pregnant. No more scary imaginary thoughts of giving birth by the roadside of Federal Highway.

2) I live in Shah Alam. Much nearer and I could go back and sleep or run some errands or do some household chores if there are gaps in between classes.

This sem I'm teaching in THREE different faculties, i.e. Sports Science and Recreation, Music, & Arts and Design.

I think because I was on maternity leave before and I started work only by the end of December that they just gave me any classes that were available. Perhaps that explains why my schedule involves me going back and forth between the main campus and seksyen 17 campus. This happens because the Music faculty is at the sek 17 campus. Rasa macam nak claim minyak je! Hahaha...

But it's still manageable. I just have to end the previous class earlier and start the next a lil later in order not to go bonkers.

The students are ok. Not as attentive as Law students of course, but still ok laahh...

It's cool to see my active Sports students, it's nice to see my Arts students' fashion sense, and it's so soothing to be coming to class when my Music students are playing the piano and other unpronounceable human-size musical instruments that can be used to kill any annoying beings.

Oh and this sem I have been actively attending courses organized by UiTM. Actually only a few of them truly interest me, but I'm mainly doing this as a part of the process untuk disahkan dalam jawatan here.

As a result, a lot of classes need to be cancelled and I have to conduct replacement classes at night since my students' schedule clashes with mine.

But it's alright for now since Mr Darwish is not yet with me. So, I'm aiming to fulfill the 42 hours of annual course participation within this sem.

Insya Allah my lil lollipop will be living with me starting mid April ;)

So I'm trying to attend as many courses as possible now, and start doing my research (for confirmation) so that I can focus on my baby in a few months' time.

With no bibik and hubby, terkontang kanting kami berdua, I'm sure my time will be fully occupied next sem. But I'm sure it'll be a more meaningful sem to be coming back home to a doll-like creature like Darwish. :D

This sem it's all about classes and going to the gym before/after classes, & seeing my baby and hubby on a fortnightly basis. *Sighs*

I think that's all the updates for now.

Ciao!

Fitness Frenzy

2011-02-17T00:17:00.004+08:00

Caution: This entry is pretty tactless. It might thus have reverse effects on unhappy unmarried people, unhappy child-less married couples, and happy brides-to-be.

"~ A baby is something you carry inside you for nine months, in your arms for three years and in your heart till the day you die ~ " (Mary Mason).

And I could not agree more.

BUTTTT!!

No matter how beautiful and meaningful people say pregnancy is... there is one thing for sure:

IT MAKES YOU FAT!!!

Sorry lil Awish, although you are cute and cuddly like nothing else in this world, truth be told, you and your daddy had made me fat. huhu...

Being fat during pregnancy is natural and cute.

What isn't so cute is the post-pregnancy round and unfit figure.

Team this situation up with emotional instability due to sleep deprivation, constant pain, and mental exhaustion, you'll actually see a HUGE ball (with arms and legs) with words on it saying "Here comes trouble!"

Yes you'll lose tremendous weight in about a month after delivery.

You'll be monkey-jumping in joy when sometimes you lose up to 1 kg per day.

But for most people, that's the limit
(unless you are fully breastfeeding from the beginning and for at least 6 months onwards).

It is as if the weight loss process has gone tepu.

I am one of those unlucky beings who are not bestowed upon with immense volume and fast flowing 'tanks'.

So I have said bubbye to breastfeeding for the past 2 months.

The location between me and Darling Darwish has made the dream even more difficult to be realised.

(But I still provide some ... on a fortnightly basis).

I am so sorry Darwish...

I'll try to make it up by giving u lotsa supplements later... although they are nothing compared to the mother nature's gift.

Thus, here I am. Stuck with 5 more kilograms to lose.

What do I do?? Nothing???

I have made a resolution (Thank God)... to be slimmer and fitter.

And of course healthier.

My biggest motivation?? : My hundreds of clothes that I could not fit into!!!!

Fortunately, with the "yo-yo" self-discipline but constant motivation from hubby, I am now on my way to fitness lifestyle.

I am more cautious of what goes into my tummy.

And to my surprise, I exercise!!! I go to the gym daily for God's sake!

I want to increase my metabolism (coz i want to eat BIG!).

I aim to do as much cardio as possible now.

So far, I am burning around 250 calories each day on gym equipment (mostly treadmill).

Aiming to lose around 1-2 kgs a month.

So far I'm lovin it... I mean going to the gym and walking, cycling, & whatnot (like a hamster) with other like-minded people of all walks of life and of all sizes too..

It has just been 2 weeks, but I'm already feeling better than ever!

Thanks abang...

I hope I could keep this up for at least 3 more months.

What's gonna happen after that??

We'll see... ;P

Ciao.

P/S- Here are some sweet pregnancy quotes I like, to neutralize things up. hahahah...

~ Before you were born I carried you under my heart. From the moment you arrived in this world until the moment I leave it, I will always carry you in my heart ~ (Mandy Harrison

~ Before you were conceived I wanted you Before you were born I loved you Before you were here an hour I would die for you This is the miracle of Mother's Love ~(Maureen Hawkins)

~ Feeling fat last nine months but the joy of becoming a mom lasts forever ~(Nikki Dalton)

~ If nature had arranged that husbands and wives should have children alternatively, there would never be more than three in a family ~(Lawrence Housman)

~ Life is tough enough without having someone kick you from the inside. ~(Rita Rudner)

~ A mother's joy begins when new life is stirring inside... when a tiny heartbeat is heard for the very first time, and a playful kick reminds her that she is never alone ~

~ There is no friendship, no love, like that of a mother for her child. ~(Henry Ward Beecher)

~Mr Darwish Bieber (BIbir BElah & besaR)~

aka

~ Mr LLLL (Little Lollipop with Luscious Lips)~

Wishlist 1 '11

2011-02-16T22:25:00.004+08:00

1. Muslimah swimsuit at SACC Mall (the cheapest found...).

2. REAL Sports Shoes for fitness (sore joints all over now :( ). Eyeing on Reebok latest training shoes as well as some from Skechers. Both of these brands are now promoting their latest shaping training shoes which claim to burn more fat and tone you up better. Sounds tantalizing but they cost a fortune! Adidas running shoes seem like a more practical choice.

3. Quality contact lenses that do not dry up my eyes (learnt my lesson through 2 ketumbits [inflamed eyes] for the past 6 months).

4. Send all my kain pasangs to the tailor in Gombak. (any trusted tailors in Shah Alam, please let me know...).

5. Lacey pink handbag in VINCCI (tak penah2 minat bag vincci, kali ni dok teringat2 plak).

This list is subject to an infinite number of changes without prior notice.

Ciao.

My Darling Darwish

2011-01-22T13:37:00.007+08:00

Salam all,

I am fully aware that I left the story of my labour experience halfway in my last entry. So here I'm back, blogging on my post-natal experience after I had delivered my darling Darwish.

To be frank, even after enduring all sorts and levels of pain in the labour room, I am more apprehensive about my post-natal experience, both physically and MENTALLY...

One of the challenges I faced in the beginning was in terms of breast feeding. I had NO MILK at all for the first 3 days!! How depressing can that be?? I was supposed to supply the important colostrum to my baby for his immune system, and yet I was utterly helpless. I know that some people say that babies can survive without consuming anything for the first 3 days buttt kalo dh tgk anak melalak gila2, who would have the heart to just let the baby cry endlessly kan?? So I had to curi2 give Darwish some formula milk.

I was only discharged the next day, 16th October 2010.

During my stay in the hospital, Kay and Syuhada came to visit us.. Thanks girls!!! and of course other relatives too.. A lil sad that my mom was not there to see her first grandson. What to do... isk2...

I stayed in Muar for 2 weeks after delivery. I can tell you that taking care of a baby is everything but easy. Well, at least for me who's a dummie when it comes to babyhood. It was such a struggle as every single thing was my first time experience. It was my first time holding a newborn, changing diapers, bathing him, putting on his clothes, breast-feeding him, making him sleep, playing with him, etc.

And not to forget, all of the above were done as I was enduring the episiotomy pain. Jalan pn slow cam siput and tekepit2 cam penguin. And I looked like makcik indon basuh toilet (eh dorg lagi lawa kottt) for the first two weeks. This was due to a number of postnatal massages that must be done and all sorts of ointments that must be slathered on perhaps every single part of my body. And experienced friends had warned me earlier of the 'engorging pain' I would endure. Thanks for the warning. It was definitely hellish...hahahah...

Then, berbekung lagi and had to bring a thermo flusk every time I went to the toilet because aparently every inch of my body could only be washed with warm water. And my hair was VERY unruly, it had to be rolled into a hideous looking bun macam nenek kebayan dlm crita ulik mayang tuuuu... Yes, it was THAT horrible...

AND to spice things up, my lil Darwish suffered from Jaundice. It was mild in the beginning but became worse in the second week. Kesian sangat Darwish kena cucuk kaki every day for blood tests. Imagine me going in and out of the clinic looking terrifyingly disgusting like that!!!

Darwish was warded on the 12th day for 2 days. Only God knows how painful it was looking at your lil helpless baby being jabbed here and there and stripped half-naked for the photo-therapy.

After 2 weeks, I went back to Kedah. I thought Darwish's suffering had ended. Boy I was wrong.

At about 1 month old, he was diagnosed as having allergy reactions to cow's protein. This resulted in breathing difficulties, terrible coughs, and wheezing sounds from his chest. I could not fully breastfeed as Darwish ni kuat minum sangat2. And it seemed that my supply was not enough to accommodate his needs. I think he was just trying to catch up really fast because he has low birth weight. I know breastfeeding supporters would bark at me saying that I am just making excuses. But seriously, I just couldn't manage it. Sapa taknak fully breastfeed. Anak sihat and save duit. But it seemed that I could not even go to the toilet if I fully breastfed. Agaknye bila supply tak cukup asik bergantung je budak ni. Sian kelaparan... Even medications to boost milk production didn't help me much. So although I breastfed Darwish for 80% of the time, we switched to Soy milk when I couldn't, based on the doctor's advice.

Darwish was warded for about 10 days because of that problem.

Again I thought our misery was over. After about 2 weeks, he was then diagnosed as having infection pulak. Another 2 days in the hospital.. Phewww.. I think for the whole of my confinement period, we spent our time in the hospital more than we did at home. It's alright, as long as Mr Darwish is all fine. Alhamdulillah...

All the above stress, exhaustion, speed learning, trials and errors, recovery process, worries, and dealing with too many clashing do's and dont's were definitely overwhelming. Too overwhelming in fact. Suffice to say that I was on the verge of depression.

The experiences made me wonder whether I was really ready for motherhood and capable of being a good mom. I wanted to give everything and the best for him, but I just didn't know how. I had no knowledge, no experience. Everything was my first-hand experience.

But then again, as I looked at Darwish's face, my heart cooled down. Zillions of people are trying hard to conceive but God has bestowed upon us this beautiful gift only after a month being married. Thus I should just be grateful and accept any challenges, coz all of 'em will be worthwhile, Insya Allah...

Now Darwish looks ravishingly healthy and his weight gain is sooo good. He's catching up fast and his weight now is almost at par with others who were born with healthier birth weight. His crying is also isn't as terrifying as before. Still LOUD but sedappp...hahahah.. and he looks cute even when he cries, unlike before. He's truly active now, has strong limbs and giggles and smiles endlessly.

It's such a blessing to have Darwish in our lives.

Lesson learnt: Love your moms coz raising a baby requires a great deal of investment in terms of energy, willpower, emotional and mental states, and finance of course.

Lucky me, I have a helpful and supportive husband. Without emotional support, things could be a lot worse.

So, do I want another baby??? YESSS, BUTTTTT not anytime soon... Perhaps in 3 years or so.

As happy as I am now with Darwish, my nightmarish post-natal experiences are still haunting me. (fobia wooooo) Hehe...

Ciao.

December Wish-list for 2011 resolutions

2010-12-29T01:13:00.012+08:00

It's that time of the year again when you make an idealistic wish list, as if money grows on your ankles.

But what the heck, life itself starts with dreams.

So, here are my latest lusty cravings:

1) A treadmill. (I can't live with these gigantic thighs forever!).

2) Slimming Sanctuary post natal care massage...

3) Any training equipment that will help me regain my shapely pre-pregnancy figure.

4) Subway vouchers for a year.

5) Any guilt-free nutritional supplements for mothers after birth.

6) 1 year supply of Slimming gel.

7) Boost drinks vouchers for a year.

8) Any slimming tea/medications that claim to effectively reduce weight and are beneficial for those who have just given birth.

9) Shopping vouchers (so that I can buy enough clothes n shawls to revamp my wardrobe)

10) A granny-like masseur who's willing to massage me for at least 10 times for free.

11) Babies for Dummies book.

12) A person (or any funny-looking being) who can abduct my mom from Kedah to Shah Alam, without my dad noticing.

13) Mr Darwish and Mr Hubby, both squashed together tightly and wrapped in shiny silver wrappings, tied with an infinite number of blue ribbons, posted to my doorstep here in Shah Alam, to live with me together (comes with a free gift: a nice, dedicated but horrible-looking BIBIK).

Oh did I mention that I had just given birth 2++ months ago???

Ciao!

* I could really use Darwish right now, Darwish right now, Darwish right now...*lalalala*

Hello Mr. Darwish Irfan!

2010-11-01T19:54:00.048+08:00

Introducing a new earthling:

NAME: Darwish Irfan

SEX: Male

DOB: 15/10/10

PLACE OF BIRTH: Hospital Pakar Sultanah Fatimah, Muar, Johor.

TIME OF BIRTH: 5.45 am

BIRTH WEIGHT: 2.3 kg

THE SON OF: Norazrin Zamri & Saiful Izwan Zainal.

So, that's the basic info of our new lil hero.

It still feels like a dream, yet it has been almost 3 weeks that I've become a momma.

Looking at his moving limbs and chest, his smile and listening to his cries snap me back to reality.

Yes, I have a son! WE have a son!!! How miraculous is that???

Although I have endured it all, still the feeling is quite alienish..hahah..

I was warded earlier, on the 13th of Oct because of spotting, i.e. one of the many signs of labour.

That morning, after noticing the spotting, I called the hospital, asking what I should do. The nurse said that I should come immediately to Dewan Bersalin! Gila seram! But because I felt OK in every sense, sempat lagi bedal soto kambing before sampai hospital! Hahah...

Sampai2, they checked me....A few young doctors checked me. One male doctor then said to me, "Akak, sorry yer, kite kena "check jalan"".

Dalam hati, apasal lak nk sorry2, aku leh je jalan ni... naper nak check2 plak..huhuh... Skalik terus soh org bukak kaki...! At that point I understood what "check jalan" means. Those who've given birth would know what it means. Hehe. And since then agak fobia bila any doctors said the same thing again...

Then, they said I should be warded, although "jalan belum bukak lagi". Terkejut beruk, tak ready apa2 pn utk masuk hospital...

Still, I didn't feel any pain yet then..

Punyela eksyen, siap dok berinternet atas katil whilst other patients were struggling, enduring terrible contractions or post-natal pain.

I was waiting nervously for the pain to come, wondering how on earth it'd feel like. One by one other patients in the ward gave birth to cute babies and being discharged, but I was still stuck there, feeling pretty stupid.

My blood pressure, temperature and baby's heartbeat were measured every 2 hours.

Ultrasound scan was also done, and at that point the doctors made me feeling worried that I might have a pretty small baby.

I was like, what the heck??? In the last scan, it was reported that my baby weighed 2.9 kgs! That sounded fine to me!

Asal datang katil je, ntah berapa ramai doktor tah dok tekan perut..saying the baby might be around 2.6 kg.

Then on the morning of 14th Oct, I started to have irregular period-pain kinda cramps.

I thought, are these what people call contractions??? Of course no one could gimme me a definitive answer. I told the doctor, but he said not to worry. In fact several doctors felt like I should be discharged since I didn't feel any real pain.

That night, I asked my hubby to bring PizzaHut Royal Masala to the hospital. Haritu makan rasa cam sedap pulak, cam tak puas... Mr Hubby, being his usual sweet self, of course entertained my request. Masa tu dh rasa makin kerap stomach cramps tu, tapi dok wat bodoh ja... Rilek je bubbye abang balik..huhu...

When he was gone, I was alone in the room in the ward. All the other 3 patients had been discharged. Feeling a lil worried, I started to record the time of each cramp. Mula2 cam every 10 mins or so... I wasn't sure if they were contractions, so I alleviated my worries by watching Project Runway and Models of Runway at the TV lounge. Hahah..

After the show ended, I decided to sleep. But the pain came every 5 mins. I tried to sleep for an hour, and I couldn't. At that point I felt "OK, these ARE real contractions...". I couldn't really go down the bed to even walk to the counter. So the only thing to do was to press the emergency button.

Nurse cakap kena jumpa doktor dulu "check jalan". URGH! Terhegeh2 la lagi jalan p check plak.. Then dia cakap dah 3-4 cm, so I was instructed to pack one set of baby stuff, and be ready to go to the Labour room. Waaaa!!! The time has come!!!

I called Mr hubby right away. It was about 1 am. Lambat jugak dia nk jawab. I was feeling a lil worried dah.. Ada kang aku beranak sorg2 ni....

Once he answered, the only thing I could say was "Datang lah bang..."

He arrived like 5 mins later... I didn't even reach Labour room yet. Only God knows how fast he drove. Huhu...

He wasn't allowed to go into the labour room just yet. I was thoroughly checked first. And the third "check jalan" procedure was done. URGH!

Then the doctor said tak cukup lagi ni.. She even said that sometimes expectant mothers might be stuck in the room for half a day! Dalam hati "Gila ka?? dah sakit ni...bagi jela aku beranak...!!!"

So she said, ok, she'd come back in 2 hours. I was like "What???? 2 hours lagi nak endure this pain??" Tapi bertahan je la..I was sweating like a pig in the super-airconditioned room. sampai tertido2 2 nurse yang tunggu kat sebelah.. huhu.

I was so laloq, but of course I couldn't really sleep if the contractions were felt like every 2-3 mins.

Around 3 am ++, The doctor came back for another "check jalan" procedure. But at that point dah tak rasa ngeri sangat check jalan..Coz contractions lagi sakit dari tu...huhu... The doctor tried to break my water, tapi masih tak leh. Only an hour later she came back to do that. Alhamdulillah lepas...

One of the unbearable things to endure was to "pee". Badan drip water, so every few hours, the water had to be released. Seksanye guna tube tu tuhan je tau...

Mr Hubby mula2 masuk labour room, but then he was asked to leave when it was said that it'd take a few more hours for me to deliver. Pastu rasanya masuk lagi, tapi cam tak sure. Laloq lah katakan... In fact I couldn't really remember and digest whatever he said or asked at the moment. But I remembered la bila dh 5am something tu, he came in right at the moment when I was asked to PUSH!!!

There were 2 female doctors (Thank God), and one of them, "Eh dah 10 cm ni, Kamu tak rasa sakit ke?" Answering doctors' or nurses' questions in the labour room was such a pain-in-the-ass (almost literally) experience. Dalam hati: "Memang la sakit, tapi takkan aku nk terjerit telolong, baik aku baca doa dlm ati, ada gak faedah..."

The teran-meneran process took about 15-20 mins. At first I didn't really have the energy since I was dozing off, but when the doctor said that the baby's heart beat rate was getting weaker, I used all my might to just PUSH! "Pandai kamu push pandai2...curi lagi nafas curi2..."

Dalam ati: "Mana nk tau pandai x pandai... hentam jela... mana lg nk curi nafas ni..dh habih dh!!!"

Betul2 masuk je subuh, n maybe habih je azan subuh cmtu, at 545 am, Mr Drwish Irfan was born into this world!

The doctor put him on my chest, but I was still blur as to what had just happened...

I had delivered the baby!! Yeay!!! Although I was blur, but looking at his face, I felt so relieved!! and he distracted me from the process of taking out the placenta and other horrible 'cleansing' procedures that had to be done.

There were stitches since episiotomy was performed. Although the baby is small (I was pretty shocked to know that he was merely 2.3 kg!), but episiotomy had to be done since it's my first time and the baby's heart beat was weak then. I hate the stitching process! It felt like forever!

Ok, this is too long... I shall continue this story: my quest as a freakin new (dummie) momma in a different entry ya!

Still searching...

2010-10-11T20:50:00.025+08:00

It has been 10 months...

10 full months of being a wife to my love.

I can't find the words to rightfully express my happiness and gratitude. ;)

There are tremendous changes in endless aspects that I have endured so far: physically, spiritually, mentally, emotionally, you name it!

And at the same time, though I'm obviously a full-fledged adult now, I'm still struggling... searching for my true identity.

I'm still in the dire process of finding my own self: Who I wanna be; What do I want to achieve; How do I want to look like; How do I want to live my life; What are my dreams; What is my ultimate goal, ...Oh it's surely endless...

But I'm absolutely sure of one thing: I want to be a better person, in all aspects, this life and the afterlife.

And thus, the changes.

And they take place one by one, gradually.

I try my best to change into a better person in a number of aspects.

Some can be seen. Some can't.

And to others, it's pretty clear that one of the most obvious and visible changes I've made so far is regarding my image.

I choose to don the image of a Muslimah... and so far (tho' it ain't easy), I'm contented, and there are no regrets.

One of the earlier changes I faced was to get used to wearing a hijab everywhere, without feeling like stripping it off. Well, I'm one of the few people who sweats a lot, especially around the neck area.

Thus wearing a hijab in this tropical country sure poses a great challenge for me. However, as time went by, I've got used to it, and do not feel like it's a burden anymore.

Well, I guess this is made easier by the fact that this change, this decision is made my ME, voluntarily; was not being forced by any third parties.

Second, though ain't that pretty, I LOVE my hair!!! And I had always been misled to believing that I looked a lot better without a hijab on. Well, maybe that's not entirely wrong... But maybe I just look A LITTLE better without hijab.. But is that the point??? NO!!!

It has dawned on me that life isn't just about the now and the present. It's not about how pretty you portray yourselves to other people. It's not about expecting the endless praises our friends might shower us with.

Eventually, the most important thing is, how pretty you are in the 'eyes' of our Creator.

and for those who are married, the essence of happiness is how pretty you are in your husbands' eyes and hearts.

The third challenge for me would be to still be fashionable and trendy whilst still carrying the image of a true Muslimah, without grabbing unnecessary attention from others.

One thing about me, I don't think I can live without makeup and the inner desire to feel pretty.

Oh what a challenge! I see a pretty top or a pretty dress, but it's either too tight or too short, or too see-through!

Then I proceed on a much safer choice; longgar, labuh, etc... and I end up looking like a Makcik!

And I'm not exactly good in tying up my hijab neatly, what more stylishly.

I want him to feel that I'm the prettiest woman he's ever seen.

I don't want him looking at other women, and says "I want you to look like that and that...not this way"

That would surely hurt...

I do not want him to feel embarrassed introducing me as his wife in public either.

I want him to feel proud walking hand-in-hand with me in front of others.

I don't want to look like his older sister, what more his mother!

I want to look like his girl!

Well isn't that hard???

Thus, I'm still searching...

Searching for the best way to dress up...that isn't too ke-makcik-an, or ke-ustazah-an, but also ain't skimpy and not defying the purpose of covering aurat in the first place.

A month after marriage, I found that I was pregnant. It's a sublimely good news but in a way, has limited my quest for searching the right image that I would want to carry as a 'new person'; still young and trendy but a married Muslim woman. Inevitably, I would just grab anything that would fit the FAT me.

But as months went by, I realized that I must change. Yup, again...

I will try my best to revamp my wardrobe after my confinement: getting rid of all unsuitable outfits, and replacing them with younger-looking ensemble that still do not go astray from what is allowed in the religion.

I just need to find and strike the right balance.

Perhaps, with a slimmer body, the quest wouldn't be as hard. Insya Allah...

I will also need to find matching hijab for all my clothing, so that I will not end up frustrated every time before going out simply because I can't quite find the right matching outfit and hijab to wear.

I want to feel happy wearing hijab. This process, by right, should not at all be accompanied with a long sigh.

This should be fun, not burdening... just like Islam...

I am just still in the process of adjusting things here and there...

And surely, there are many more important changes that I need to face.

Especially in terms of becoming a mother, and a better wife, and a better servant to God.

May Allah ease this journey, coz these changes are for the betterment of my life, OUR lives...

I should NOT feel afraid of enduring changes and challenges anymore...

Oh it's such a relief to pour all of this out...

I really should motivate myself more often huh???

WISH-LIST!!!

2010-10-06T10:11:00.035+08:00

There are a lot of things that I NEED and WANT at the moment. So here's my latest wish-list!:

For myself:

A netbook.

-I'm waiting for the latest netbook models to be released in the market, the ones with the latest, much faster processor (dual core N550 Atom processor, if i'm not mistaken). So I guess, I simply need to gather all the patience in the world by using this antic laptop for at least 2 more months. I'll buy the netbook perhaps after my confinement period ends. ;)

Lotsa shawls

-For the past 10 months I've been wearing hijab, I have had this habit of buying outfits and tudung separately, regardless of one another. Thus, I end up having lotsa clothes and shawls that just don't really match. After my confinement, I intend to wear my old clothes, kebayas, and whatnot (hopefully I still can...) that surely do not have any matching tudung to go together. So yerp, I will need to go for MASSIVE shawl shopping before I start my work back in December.

New ensemble

-Yes, my wardrobe will be revamped!!!

Charles and Keith heels.

-I have been deprived from pretty heels for the past 9 months. All my heels are placed in a huge bag and are stuffed under my bed as I have only been wearing flat shoes throughout this pregnancy. My heels really do deserve a better place i.e. on my feet!!!. And every time I walked into any Charles & Keith stores, my heart would melt with burning desires. I just NEED to buy a few more heels after this. For my sanity, I just HAVE TO! ;)

For the new abode:

-Basically, things which are truly essential, durable, and can be transferred to our own home later on.

Fridge
Washing machine + dryer
LCD TV + sound system
an aircond unit
microwave oven
curtains/blinds
stand lamps
huge mirror
carpet
sofa + cushions
carpets
photo frames
decorations
utensils
quality pans and pots
new duvet cover

For the baby:

-I'd be gobsmacked if our baby turns out to be super-cute and blue-eyed like this...huhu-

lightweight stroller (we've been eyeing on this GRACO CITILITE R SPORTY RED COLOR stroller, which is SUPER-light, trendy, and doesn't cost a fortune!). Will buy it perhaps after 2 months...
baby travel bag.
hats
diaper rash cream
etcccc....

OK, enough of lust for now...*drools*

Of Maternity Leave, Next Semester, and New House

2010-10-04T13:44:00.026+08:00

Yeay!!! My holiday has started!!!! No no, I have not given birth yet. It's just that I have applied for earlier leave before my due date, so that I can go back to Muar, my hubby's place, to deliver our baby.

I use up my Cuti Tahunan for this, but I can cancel it later should I get an MC letter from a government doctor. Harap2 dapatla, coz I don't wanna burn my oh-so-precious cuti tahunan...hehehe..

Now it's not as nerve-wrecking as living alone and driving alone in KL in the past few weeks when my hubby was hundreds of miles away.

Whatever happens now, it'll just take my hubby 10 minutes to reach home or the hospital. What a relief!

Although I am very much entitled to this holiday, I still do feel a lil bad since some of my work, such as keying in the final exam marks and uploading the finalised marks for my students need to be done by some of my colleagues. I hope the people in charge of this will help my students, should there be just 1-2 marks more to getting a pass or A. heheh..

There are still a number of issues running through my mind, besides my fear of labour.hehehe..

I am not sure where I will be placed for teaching next semester.

The first question is, will I still be teaching in the Law Asasi programme??

This issue arises coz my confinement period will be over only in December whereas the new semester for Asasi starts in November!

If they still want me there, they might try to find a part-timer to replace my slots. But if there isn't any, I might need to replace all of the missed classes myself! That'd be awful!!!

The second question is, if I won't be teaching the Asasi students, where will I be placed? Will I be teaching the Degree students???

Nooooo! Seriously, I love to teach young, new, and more innocent-looking students. Some Degree students sometimes can be too demanding, arrogant, perasan bagus, and they tend to complain about all sorts of things. haisshh..

The third issue is, will I still be teaching in the main campus? or will I be thrown into the jungle of Puncak Alam/ Puncak Perdana???

The only perk I can see from teaching in the branch campuses is that I'll be given a room. Which is reaaaaallly nice... But I dun really need it as much now since I'll be renting in Seksyen 9, Shah Alam, beginning December.

If I teach in Puncak Alam/Perdana, it'll still be a long journey to work, but I'll still be able to save on the toll, unlike the PJ-Shah Alam route before.

It'll be much more convenient if I teach in the main campus, as my new house is just 10 mins drive away. I can just go home and sleep and do other chores if there aren't any classes. No more merempat in the Surau, the car, or the computer lab..!

So the ideal situation would be, to teach in the Law Asasi programme in the main campus, and there'll be a part-timer to replace my classes in the first month. ;) Pray for me...

Now, relating to the next issue which I've just mentioned.

New home!!!!

I can heave a long sigh of relief now since I don't have to look any further to rent a house next semester.

Last week on Wednesday, since I didn't have anything to do in UiTM, I went to Seksyen 9, Shah Alam to look for ads of houses for rent. I dunno why, but I love Seksyen 9. All facilities are there, and it isn't too far from UiTM main campus. I went once earlier to one of the condos there, but I wasn't lucky as I was told that there weren't any houses available for rent.

Yerp, we were looking for condos (for renting and buying), as my hubby and I are the type of people who could not care less about gardening, nice gates, and painting the exterior of the house. We would rather dedicate our time and money more on decorating the interior of our house. and we love condo facilities!!! Well, everyone has their own preferences, right???

So that Wednesday, I tried my luck again at another condo, asking the security guards if there were any houses to be rented. The answer was still NOO!!

Little I realised how difficult it was to even rent a house there! Maybe too many people want to live in such a convenient location. But the guards gave me the business card of one realtor in that area that can be contacted.

I contacted the person not long after that, and it turned out that she's a female agent. She quickly requested for a meet-up at the nearest McDonald's right away! Well, isn't that fast???

Well, if you are an avid reader of my blog, you might have remembered the story of the Bangsar Indian auntie with whom I lived for 6 months as I rented one of her rooms during my Masters studies.

Well this agent is like the Chinese version of her! hahaha... in terms of talking la... she talks so fast and I can only understand 40% of what she says!! She's very paranoid about all sorts of things, based on her 20 years of experience in this field. Not to mention, I was very distracted by her, hrrrmmm... natural looking armpit!

But since I'm a patient person, I'd just nod and follow what she says coz quarelling with a person older than my mom is not fun. I just need to endure a slight headache each time after talking to her.

She said then that there's this one nice unit in another condo, and if I wanted it, I needed to view it right away and decide, or else someone else would snatch it.

So the next day, I brought my friend to accompany me to the condo to view the unit, alongwith the agent.

Surprisingly, the unit is soooo sooo nice (for our budget la).. The unit is facing Kelab Golf Shah Alam, and the living room is ok, with a TV cabinet, table, and an air-con unit. It isn't that big but just nice for me and my hubby.

There used to be 3 rooms, but converted into 2 rooms: 1 very big room, and 1 smaller room.

The Master bedroom has a king-sized bed with a built-in bed frame, a very big built-in wardrobe unit, another cabinet, carpeted floor, and a bathroom (with water heater). It's really2 comfy-looking.

The other room is smaller with a wardrobe and a makeup table. And there's another smaller toilet outside.

The kitchen is equipped with kitchen cabinet with ample space. there's a stove and there's a dedicated area to put the washing machine.

There's also a small dining table attached to a cabinet near the living room.

So to me, it was a PERFECT house to rent.

But the agent wanted me to decide in an hour, whether or not to take the house. It'd be too late to wait for the hubby to view the house on Saturday and decide together. So I just needed to decide based on my own instincts. Thanks K for being there and helping me made the decision.

So yes, I decided to rent it! The agent brought me to meet the owner's sister right after that and paid the first month deposit. The rest of the payment can be made by 1st Nov coz the earliest we can move into the house would be on the 27th of Oct, coz it's still tenanted.

Actually, by right, everything must be paid in lump sum, but she said since I look jujur, she allowed me to pay just the first month deposit first, for booking. Well again, my puss-in-boots eyes worked!!! Thank you dear agent...! Although you are loud and annoying, you are one considerate and professional agent!

Last Saturday, I brought my husband to view the house, feeling dead worried that he'd say that I'd made the wrong decision. The agent was there too of course (but I was a lil disappointed that she didn't wear a sleeveless shirt. I was talking non-stop about her armpit to my husband for the past few days! He's saved from witnessing THE 'view').

Thank God he loved/s it too!!!

Now both of us could not wait to move into that unit. But he'll be staying there first for a few days when he's having his exams in UM in Nov. I'll still be in my confinement period in Kedah by then... isk2....

And I really hope that his application for transfer to Selangor will be entertained this time. We really2 want to live together like a real family. If not, I'd be staying in a nice home, but without him 5 days in a week... (againnn....). What's the point??? Tawakkal je la...apa2 jadi insya Allah ada hikmahnya...

So that's the story. How I sealed the deal in less than 24 hours.

Can't wait can't wait can't wait....

Ciao!

THE EURO TRIP

2010-09-30T11:49:00.162+08:00

I am wellllll aware that this is a reaaaaallllllyyyy delayed entry. But it has been in my draft folder for months! I had written about our honeymoon halfway and somehow lost interest for a while (dun remember why, but I think I may have written some parts, and some were lost as they weren't saved), and totally forgot to continue writing it til recently.

After all, I was quite free for the past few days in UiTM. and Facebook couldn't be accessed there. You know lahh when you are too bored, you may end up noticing things that were missed before. That was how I noticed this 'unfinished' job. And since my baby is popping out soonish, and it'll be toooo late to write about honeymoon when I'm already a momma, I'd better do this now... or NEVER!

So I'll try to finish up this travel entry based on my unreliable memory, with the help of endless photos. heheh..

*These pics were taken before I seriously decided to change my image. So please excuse my 'uncovered' pics ya...

We bought our tickets to London a few months before our wedding. U know lah how cheap flight tickets are if you buy them months before your trip. So dun go waaaaahhhh as we decided to have a trip to London and Paris together.

Believe me, it didn't cost that much and we stayed in the most budget accommodation we could possibly find. And we cooked! So it was a budget honeymoon for us. After all, it's the travelling that matters most. So that's what we did. We travelled!!! From 7 am til midnight almost every day!

Day 1 (30/12/09)

We departed to London from LCCT, KL at 3.35 pm. Everything was smooth. and it wasn't a bumpy ride (Thank God! I have terrible flying phobias lately). But it was soooooo long.. The longest flight I'd ever taken, i.e. around 14 hours.

We arrived in Stansted Airport London at almost midnight, the same day. We could already feel the terrible chill outside the airport. We took a shuttle bus to the city, to the 'nearest' stop from our accommodation, Pemberton Gardens House (Hostel). Still, it wasn't that near, we needed to take a cab (which was sooooo expensive; it was our first and last time!) to get there. At around 1 am, we arrived there. The hostel looked like a gloomy Harry Potter's castle from the outside, but from the inside, it looked quite dodgy, to be frank. Huhu.. But what to do, that was the only hostel available for the holiday season. We were lucky to even have a place to stay. We stayed there for 3 nights.

I remembered asking when booking that we wanted a queen bed. But maybe they didn't have any. So we ended up getting a room with a bunk bed! A newly married couple and a bunk bed??? Gila ka... hahahaha.. so we brought down one of the single size mattresses to the floor and slept there for the rest of the nights there. Thank God we were born midgets! hehehe.

Sorry dear that your first experience in a youth hostel wasn't that fabulous...

No piccas at all on the first night there. Lupa lahh...

Day 2 (31/12/09)

We planned to make full use of our time there, so we went out really early in the morning to experience London for real! Fortunately, the underground train station was not that far from our hostel. The station is Archway. We bought unlimited day-pass tickets to travel all around London at a fraction of the original price. It was quite oklaaa... Just don't try converting the amount to Malaysian Ringgit or else we would go bonkers!

Here are some pics of us that morning:

-I couldn't have looked any more lost, could I??-

Then, we went to the famous Buckingham Palace, Wellington Arch, Hyde Park, and in conjunction with X'mas and New Year, a special theme park called Winter Wonderland was set up at Hyde Park. It felt sooo magical! Although Christmas was over, the spirit was still there, and it was so fun to experience real X'mas in the northern hemisphere. Here are some pics:

-Buckingham Palace area-

-Hyde Park & Wellington Arch area-

-Winter Wonderland-

That afternoon, we continued our journey to the famous Harrods store. I bought a handbag and a number of souvenirs. We also strolled along Oxford St, but just for window shopping...:

And before the sun set, at around 4 to 5++, we went back home for prayers and went out again to have a look at London Bridge view at night. It was spectacular! and we continued our journey near the London eye for new year celebration. BUT, I HATED the new year celebration.

Well, even in Malaysia, I am not the kinda person who like to celebrate new year as it is always crowded with crazy people. That's what I assumed. Although I can't compare, but London celebration may be even crazier, as the place was sooo soo packed with drunk teenagers, criminal-looking foreigners, and it was dead cold!!! People peed everywhere in public, and there was a loooong line to get into public toilets! Thank God we had some pennies, if not we couldn't even enter the toilets! There was this one drunk and almost insane old lady who was so pissed off that she couldn't get into the toilet because she didn't have enough money. I was sooo afraid of her coz she babbled non-stop, yelled like a maniac, and looked as if she could kill anyone at that point! Well women always have bladder and menopausal issues huh....

Gosh, I swear not to go to any new year celebrations ever again! Ingatkan nk seize the opportunity je.. But haisshh.. I just don't fancy such 'entertainment'. Dapat tgk fireworks sikit pun jadila.... Here are some pics snapped that night:

Day 3 (1/1/10)

It was a more relaxed day for us on the New Year. The last day in London city before we went to Paris. It snowed the night before, and the city was covered with a thin layer of snow flakes. I loved it! Here are our jaqun faces:

We then went to the London Bridge area again to snap more piccas there, in daylight. On our way there, we bought extra scarves coz it was soooo cold. I bought two. Mula2 cik abang eksyen...but then he stole one..huhhuu. As we strolled along a number of streets, we always had several pit stops at several shops, just to feel the comfy warmth of the heater! hahhaha..kena buat2 macam belek barang macam nk beli la...huhuhu

Then we went all around the London city again, Big Ben, and whatnot and returned back to our Hostel at night. Shopping was postponed til we returned back from Paris. Pheww... tiring for sure!

Day 4 (2/1/10)

Day 4 was Paris dayyyy!!!! Very2 early in the morning we walked quickly to the Eurostar station to take the fast speed train to Paris. It took about 2 and a half hours to get there. and it seemed like we were the only Asians on board! hahaha. Although we were quite skeptical about the train system (just a few weeks earlier, the Eurostar train was stucked under the sea for hoursss), we just prayed that everything would be ok. Alhamdulillah, we arrived safely in Paris in the afternoon. It was snowing a bit when we arrived.

-icy view from the train-

We then arrived at the budget hotel that we had booked online earlier. It was strategically located as it was just within 10mins walk from the train station. What a relief! There was, however, a lil bit of misunderstanding about the booking at first, but once it was settled, we were very happy. The place looked much2 better than Pemberton House!!!

To walk around Paris city, we only had about 4 hours before the sun set. Definitely Eiffel Tower was our first destination. We hopped on a bus and wallla, the famous tower was before our eyes. It was like a dream!!! We even had real French crepes with Nutella there!

We later stopped at the famous arch 'Arch de Triomphe' for some snappings too!

-Arch de Triomphe-

It was really2 cold that night... I needed to keep controlling my body heat psychologically coz I felt like I could suffer from frostbite at any point, even with 5 layers of clothing and double layers of socks! The temperature on average in London and Paris during that week ranged from -3 to 2 degrees Celsius!! Imagine!!!

I had a terrible cold , sneezing non-stop, but still we managed to indulge in a real succulent pizza at a cafe in the city that night. After all, I had lost hope in finding the right words, gestures, and facial expressions that could possibly make the French workers understand that I needed medicine to ease my cold!! They kept giving me tissues!!!!

Language barriers still posed a serious problem amongst travellers in France, I think.

-THE pizza!-

We slept like babies that night....

Day 5 (3/1/10)

Day 5 = Disneyland day!!!!

Yeah, we are still kids at hearts. We took the train from the city. Disneyland is located about 45 mins train away from the city. We bought our tickets online. They are much cheaper online. The tickets were meant for entrance for both Disneyland Park and Walt Disney Studio. Here are some pics from the Disneyland Park:

We really looked like kids huh? huhu...

We were even willing to wait in a long line just to take photos with Pluto!

Mr Hubby enjoyed his rides and I enjoyed the atmosphere and the magical feeling typically associated with Disneyland. What a splendid feeling! I shopped for souveniers a bit while he went all ga-ga with his rides. Hehehe..

As the sun set, we went to the Walt Disney Studio next door. We didn't have much time, so we just snapped as many photos as possible there. To make it worthwhile, I agreed to follow Mr Hubby to enter the Tower of Terror. I thought "tak terok sgt kotttt". Damn I was wrong. Little I realized that entering that place was like committing suicide. The concept was: the lift in the haunted hotel was not functioning, so as we entered it, it just terus jatuh menjunaaammmmm!!! Rasa cam nk mati!!! I just closed my eyes all the way, regretting every second why in the world I entered that 'hell' in the first place. And it turned out that my voice was not the only thing I lost that day. ;(. Well, it was meant to be...i gez...

Then we went to Disneyland Village, just nearby. It was full of restaurants and cafes, which were mostly expensive. I don't remember what we ended up eating that night...huhuhu

Day 6 (4/1/10)

Bubbye Paris.... told ya it was a budget trip. If we had enough money, we would have extended the length of our stay.... Tapi oklaaaa.... So that morning, before the sun rose, we went back to London via Eurostar. Here are some of our last pics in Paris:

We arrived in London that morning at around 8 am. We checked in our new budget accommodation in London, named Vegas Hotel. Believe me, there's nothing Vegas about it. Even the worker at the reception were Indians! heheh.. But better than Pemberton Gardens. It's also near an underground train station, i.e. Victoria. It's like a Bed and Breakfast accomm. Doesn't really matter. We were out most of the time.

That day we tried to cover other attractions in London that we didn't get to go on the first 2 days. We went to British Museum, Trafalgar Square, Covent Garden, and Madamme Tussauds.

Here are some of our pics for the day:

That's all we did the whole day... heheh..

Day 7 (5/1/10)

Oh a few more places to cover on the last day!

First of all, since we were already London, we took the opportunity to visit Greenwich Park, at which there's a line that indicates where time actually starts for the whole world! There was also a little museum there with all sorts of gadgets ever invented to measure time in the past.

Oh anyway, before we reached the park, we were dead hungry, so we bought 2 large lamb kebabs in the Greenwich city. It was the BEST kebab we've ever tasted. Nasib baik tak mengidam ni during this pregnancy.huhu... Only then we realized that there's a Muslim community in Greenwich, and that's why Halal food outlets were abundant there.

Here are some pics:

In the late afternoon, we went back to city centre and did some souvenir shopping at Chinatown. At the city, we took some photos at the Tower of London and I ice skated at the open-air ice rink there! It was sooo soooo funnnn... A lot better than the experience in Sunway! Also, it was a good way to heat up my body.

After that we went to Chinatown. The souveniers there were a lil cheaper. But the most important thing was, there were endlessss choices! No pics were snapped. Too busy shopping maaaa....

We went back to the hotel, took our stuff and hopped on a shuttle airport bus from the Victoria station back to where we first landed; Stansted Airport. As we were walking to the bus station, suddenly it was snowing heavily. Many locals were worried about the danger of thick layers of snow on the roads and at the airport. But I simply cherished the moments as droplets of snow were falling on my hair. ;)

The flight was at midnight. Goodbye London, goodbye Europe!

Day 8 (6/1/10)

We arrived safely in the LCC Terminal KL at around 8 pm the next day. It was fulfilling albeit a lil tiring... Say hello to reality!!!!

Overall, it was a really2 AWESOME trip for us!

It was our dream to experience European culture, walk along Oxford Street, celebrate New Year in a different continent, inhale Europe's coldest mist, cuddle at Eiffel Tower, indulge in a real pizza in a Paris cafe, be kids again in Disneyland, and be smothered by snow on one of London's coldest nights.

In simpler words, our dreams came true!

But, I don't feel like visiting London again. Maybe other places in England, the countrysides or other states in the Great Britain.

One day when we have more money, surely a complete REAL Euro Trip will be another dream-come-true.

Now it's time to materialize other dreams like having one nice happy family, buying our dream house, being good spouses, becoming better people, and travelling to other parts of the world when we have extra money in the future. ;)

May all our dreams come true.

To view ALL the photos, you can check my Facebook photo albums:

a) Facebook-Euro Trip-London City-[Part 1]

b) Facebook-Euro Trip-Paris-[Part 2]

c) Facebook-Euro Trip-Disneyland-[Part 3]

d) Facebook-Euro Trip-Back in London City-[Part 4]

and may there be more travel journals like this about OUR trips in the future.

Ciao!

Some pics from the final week of sem 1 '10 UiTM Shah Alam

2010-09-29T07:52:00.006+08:00

Here are some pics snapped with my students. I taught 5 classes this semester but only had the chance to take photos with 2 of the classes. I tried to upload these pics in one of my earlier entries, but I dunno what went wrong...it just couldn't be done.

Thank you guys for turning my supposedly stressful 1st semester in UiTM into a fun and memorable experience.

-Some of my students from my Critical Thinking class, after final test-

-One of my BEL260 classes. I must say that overall, students from this class were the most diligent and cooperative ones-

Ciao!

Raya as a wife and future-mom

2010-09-24T20:35:00.011+08:00

Raya this year is awesome!

It's our first raya as husband and wife, with a baby on the way...

Despite the inevitably exhausting journey back and forth from KL-MUAR-KL-JITRA-KL, we enjoyed it tremendously.

This year (without any hair-pulling fights and any forms of dispute), we decided to celebrate our first raya in Muar. Went back to Muar the day before Raya and spent about 3 days there.

It was great visiting in-laws around Muar, and indulging in Raya delicacies which are quite different from the typical dishes in Kedah. I think it was the first time I ate the original ketupat nasi which was wrapped in coconut leaves with kari ayam and lodeh. Usually, makan yang instant je.. And in Kedah, ketupat palas pulut is surely a lot more common. (I still prefer pulut for raya though..huhu).

On the 3rd day of Syawal, we drove to KL and spent one night there as it's very tiring to drive directly to Kedah on the same day.

The next day we drove to Kedah. Mr Hubby didn't allow me to touch the steering wheel at all although I assured him that my pregnancy doesn't in any way deteriorate my driving skills.

So we arrived in Kedah on the 4th of Syawal and stayed for 3 days there..Only managed to cover a few houses but got the chance to meet Ain and Paad as they came to beraya at our house. ;)

After a few days of Raya-ing, we returned back to KL and stayed for a few days here as my husband finished up his assignments which were delayed due to kuah kacang, lemang, and ketupat. huhu...

This is also the first raya that I celebrate as a career lady. This surely means that this is the first raya that I am officially entitled to give duit raya to younger relatives. Well, it isn't that bad..heheh...

And oh yeah, I look like a pumpkin in every Raya picture snapped. Hopefully next Raya, I'll already be in shape so that I can fit back into Kebayas, which I prefer a lot more than baju kurungs.

Haven't really had the chance to go to open houses organised by frens yet. The timing is not right and I feel like the baby can pop out anytime soon.. Sengal2 je rasa...pheww...

Will my baby be a Syawal baby??? Let's just wait and see... ;-{

Ciao!

The end of the semester, in my final trimester.

2010-09-24T10:20:00.006+08:00

Yeah, no more teaching!!!

The semester is officially over by the end of this week BUT classes were over even before raya.

So yerp, it was one free-spirited raya for me this year. Will blog on that in a separate entry later.

I can't believe I have been teaching here in UiTM Shah Alam for about one semester already.

As the semester progressed, it felt sooo slowww... but as usual, once it has ended, it would feel so quick, and I admit i kinda miss looking at my students' cute faces. I don't miss the stairs and the marking, though.

Regarding my pregnancy, a more detailed account of my experience is poured out in my other blog, www.bridazzy.blogspot.com

But in general, I have quite a healthy pregnancy, no serious complications. Everything is said to be normal, alhamdulillah... insya Allah..

I'm just rounder and rounder each day and getting easily exhausted, surely.

I can't fit into most of my clothes now without looking like a nangka busuk. It's such a mixed feeling. I'm frustrated coz I look like a makcik with very few selections of outfits but I'm happy that my baby is obviously growing healthily every day. ;)

Just 3 weeks left, and I will be terkedang at home with a spanking new life doll beside me.

I hope my baby is not too excited to venture out into this world waaay before the due date. It'd be a hassle (for everyone) if h/she pops out in KL, before I go back to Muar, as initially planned. Will go back to Kedah perhaps a week after the delivery. That's the plan!

Phew, what a metamorphosis! Too many changes in a short period of time! Still adjusting myself with the feeling of being a wife (which is still not well executed since we don't have a proper home and are not exactly living together every day)

Really hope my hubby's application for transfer to Selangor will be entertained. I really want a real home and real family living together.. *sigh*

Ciao!

Pictorial entry on my Masters convocation

2010-09-23T20:04:00.018+08:00

As the title suggests, let's browse through some photos taken during my convo...

-Brunch before going to UM-

-Two mommas helping the helpless me put on the ridiculous convo gown n hood-

-urgh!-

-Family. ;) -

-hrmmm....? -

-Us...-

-Now who's graduating???-

-We look better from the back...-

-Lost my matric card. DARN IT!-

-Hubby's gift lightened me up from my misery-

-Thanks for coming!-

-Momma!-

-Don't play2 arrr...-

Too many pics???

Told ya it's PICTORIAL!!!

Convocation 2010

2010-08-10T13:03:00.012+08:00

Now I can call myself a true graduate for Masters of English as a Second Language from UM. My graduation ceremony was more than a week ago. I am very much aware of how outdated this entry is.

My feelings? I’m just glad it’s over. This day had been a major motivation for me since the beginning of my studies, and for that, I’m happy.

BUT, I am not sure whether it is the pregnancy or it was just EXTREMELY hot that day!! I really felt like squashing my body into a freezer! In the DTC itself, it wasn’t that bad. My queing number was 049, out of about 1000 students. And out of them all, I only knew one person from my fac, and even so, she wasn't that close to me during my studies. So I think you can roughly imagine my boredom waiting for the ceremony to end.

Nonetheless, it was literally a 2 seconds worth of fame on stage. Names of graduands were called out extremely fast, i.e. like about 3 people stand on the stage at the same time. I was so blur and panicked that my whole world was shut off as I received the scroll. I could not even listen to my own name being announced and I could not really remember Raja Nazrin’s face! I can’t even recall whether I smiled on the stage. I could not even listen to my mom and hubby’s clappings as I was sooo out of this world then. Was it the baby or was it just me?? Hahaha...

BUT, I was and am still greatly indebted to my mom, my hubby, my in-laws and my housemate Fariha for taking their time to celebrate one of my joyous moments in life together. I know all of them were extremely busy with their own life responsibilities and demands, but still they made the time for me. This makes me wonder, what is so special about me that they were willling to sacrifice their time? Hrmmm.. only God knows. All I can say is THANK YOU!!!

Also, to be frank, I really2 didn’t expect any gifts from anybody for my Masters convocation. But in the end, I got FOUR! That’s A LOT for me! My mom gave me a pendant, my hubby gave me a digicam, I got a graduation frame from Fariha and an also an unexpected gift from one of the classes I'm teaching in UiTM! And of course flowersss from hubby!!! Thank you sooo sooo much.

1) Gift from hubby!

2) From Mama:

3) From my UiTM students:

4) From Fariha

But of course, the biggest gift of all was your PRESENCE. ;)

That’s all I want to ramble about my convocation day. The next??? PHD?? I don’t want to think about it yet. I just want to achieve my short term goal of becoming sah dalam jawatan in my current job and long-term goal of raising a HAPPY family.

Ciao!

Of work, baby, and boredom

2010-07-01T09:06:00.010+08:00

Yes, I'm in UiTM APB's computer lab again...

My next class will be at 1030 am- 1230pm. That's the only class I have on Thursdays.

The same goes to tomorrow, as there will just be one class to teach early in the morning.

How I love Thursdays and Fridays!

Work isn't that bad.

It's just that I need to take it slow on the stairs and walking around since I'm carrying an undetachable backpack on my tummy all the time!

I don't really feel the load, altho I'm now as round as a watermelon and I pretty much feel like a humpty dumpty (considering my height).

It's just that I easily feel exhausted when there's too much walking n standing while working.

I don't know... it has become a habit of mine to stand and walk around while teaching. and I feel that it's necessary since you know lah university students, they possess all sorts of gadgets (iPhones, Blackberry, MacPro, etc..). Many like to SMS in class, bluetooth pics around, and God forbid- I hope none of them is watching porn while I'm teaching!

I feel as though I'm committing a sin if I sit down. Well, blame it on 6 years of TESL education! "Teachers are not supposed to sit while teaching!!!" --> This is deeply ingrained on my mind all the time!

But I'm preggy, so I'm sure there are some exceptions. ;)

Other than that, my life is BORING...

Go out for work in the morning, return back in the evening/afternoon, then watch tv and go online. That's all.. *wekkk*

No hubby to attend and talk to. *sigh*

and actually NO ONE else to talk to either.

I usually feel very much alone at home and at work.

Since APB is only a servicing academy (meaning it's not a faculty on its own and not running its own programmes except for two degree courses I think), I don't reallly have enough time to mingle around for real. And like 95% of them are, hurmmm how should I say, very very experienced and mature educators. uhuk... euphemisms at their best!

I just come in the morning to tag in my attendance using a drive-thru scanning machine, and off I go to the Law faculty where all of my classes are. I don't know anyone there either, except for a few lecturers (who are also like me) and my students. And to make it worse, unsurprisingly, many think that I'm a student! They only think twice and smile when they see my staff matric card and my bulging tummy. huhu...

I wish for a livelier life... haisssh...

Facebook and YM are my life now.

How pathetic.

I miss my degree years soooo much.... *wail*

Ok, enough of crappy thoughts.

Ciao

1 month

2010-06-28T13:00:00.002+08:00

As blogged earlier, I have started teaching since the first week of June.

Time seems to fly rather quick since before I know it, in less than a month, I've already gotten my first pay!

Now, in Week 5, there won't be much teaching since for today and tommorow, all academic staff are required to attend a workshop. It's rather boring but anything that means no-classes and no frequent visits to the Law faculty is splendid!

Oh and of course it also means free food!!!'

Now is the break time for lunch, will go back in at 2pm.

That's all the updates for now.

Ciao.

Career Lady???

2010-06-22T14:31:00.010+08:00

I've just realized I haven't updated anything on this blog about my new job.

Hrmm.. where do I start...

First of all, I have been appointed as an English lecturer in Akademi Pengajian Bahasa (APB), UiTM Shah Alam. I reported duty on the 1st of June.

The semester officially starts in July but I have been teaching for 3 weeks now. This is because I am required to teach the Pre-Law students whose schedule starts and ends a month earlier than the rest. *sigh*

But..considering that I'll deliver my baby in Sept/Oct, this is actually a blessing in disguise. At least I won't be leaving them abruptly in the midst of exams or the final few weeks of lecture, the time when they will need me the most (I think).

And without a room (or even a desk) in APB, it's much more convenient to leave my work when there aren't any classes. Takkan nk datang punch in pagi buta and then melangut merempat smpai berejam2 just to fulfill the minimum 38.5 hours requirement? It's quite tiring to commute back and forth PJ-Shah Alam everyday. Lain lah kalau ada umah in Shah Alam. That would be delightful since a lot of errands and house chores can be done within the office hours.

So far the experience has been ok. I'm just a lil bit disappointed for the fact that there aren't enough rooms for lecturers. But for now, it's bearable coz I would do my work in the classes that I'm teaching.

The students are nice. A vast difference can be seen from some of the students I taught in private colleges before. They are super cooperative. Some of my current students now even salam cium my hands every time after class! I thought that only happened in UiTM Kedah! hahahaha...

They are cute too.. some are staring at my baby bump while I'm teaching (a lil scary tho..), some requested if they could touch my tummy (they had already touched it before I gave my consent), and some asked me about my marital status (even when I've told them to call me Mdm Azrin). "Tak nampak ke perot aku ni? igt aku minah rempit ke?"

huhu...

And some of them are really hillarious. For example, this morning I asked them to prepare a forum. I told them it could be informal. Little I expected that the all-boys group came up with a musical forum about LOVE. Imagine muka budak2 laki jiwang nyanyi2 lagu tangkap leleh selang seli dgn discussion about the topic.... adeh... I cried in laughter (as usual).

So teaching is fun!

I just hate the stairs! Too many stairs to climb up just to get to classes in the Law Faculty.

And I hate that I have to merempat when there aren't any classes. Like now, I'm in the computer lab!

It's either here or the surau.

Ok, that's all for now.

Aint-so-excited anymore...

2010-05-23T20:59:00.004+08:00

The whole prospect of next semester, or next yer, or next few years may not be pretty.

I'm not that thrilled to start working anymore.

Ain't that excited to even take the offer letter tomorrow.

Everything suddenly seems blurry.

Dream family. Dream home. Dream life.

Can they be attained???

Whose fault is it if the answer is 'NO'.

I'm ready for any challenges and sacrifices, for love is more powerful than anything.

Distance or any other obstacles will NOT weaken me...should NOT weaken us.

Will do ALL I can to make things work.

But still...

Can anyone with LDM (Long-Distance-Marriage) provide me with some supportive words???

A Ray of Light

2010-05-18T00:04:00.012+08:00

Jobless...

That's how I've been for the past 6 months.

It's hard to believe that my quest towards getting the Senate Letter and my transcript has finally come to an end.

Never thought it took the whole semester to get all the documents done. It involved lotsa annoying phone calls (from ME to UM), and other confusing dramas and misunderstanding because of the oh-so-inefficient management in UM. *sigh*

And can you believe that on my transcript, there's this stupid typo: "VARITIES OF ENGLISH" (one of my subjects). Imagine what overseas universities would think that is, if I use the transcript for my PHD application (yer2 jer, ntah bila..., huhu).

Will need to get it corrected later (which means another RM 10 flying). Haissshh..

Nonetheless, I'm happy that it's over!!!

Now what???

Both of my senate letter and transcript had been sent to Bahagian Penjawatan UiTM, Shah Alam last week.

This morning, a week after submitting the docs to UiTM Shah Alam, I received a call saying that my REAL offer letter is ready for collection.

I still couldn't believe this!!!

I went for the interview last October, and finally today I can see a ray of promising light, the light that says: " Hey! Your jobless months will be OVER!"

Alhamdulillah...

I really2 need to work, not because I'm sooo excited to embark on the workplace demands, politics and dramas, but frankly, simply because "I NEED MONEY!" Hahaha!

I can't believe I'll finally have a PERMANENT job.. No more part time jobs ok??

Because of this overwhelmingly good news, we will be going to KL this weekend and I'll stay in KL for a few days next week to collect the letter and get all the docs and requirements done (I'm assuming there must be a medical checkup, hrmm...).

Now, whenever people ask me "When will you be working?" " Where will you be working in?", I can at least answer with confidence " Insya Allah, UiTM Shah Alam, VERY soon!".

NO more maybes....

;)

UiTM Di Hatiku (chewahh..)

P/S- Seems like UiTM is more efficient, aye?

Beyond Maternal Instincts

2010-05-15T00:20:00.006+08:00

Momma cats can go senile.

That's one thing I learn from my years of experience raising cats.

Maybe too much of giving birth and breastfeeding to dozens of kitties are not healthy for the mammal's brain. *worries*

My first senile cat was in Rompin. Her name was Kitty. By the time she went all mad, she was already a granny to a number of grandkitties. That was way too old for a cat. She refused to breastfeed her own babies then, and her daughter had to take over the job. Yerp, a sister breastfeeding the younger siblings... uhuk...

My second senile cat was in Gombak. Her name was Idiburn, i.e. a blend of Idiot + Stubborn. She was the mother to my all-time favourite ANGEL. By the time she was senile, she bit her own baby's neck sampai putus. I think she was too hungry. We threw her mercilessly to the nearest fish market.

My third, most recent senile cat is still alive, living in Jitra. Her name is Esah. She is the mother to the recent 5 kittens we have. Maybe she could not handle all 5 babies at once. She's not even a granny, and yet she's on contraceptive. Maybe that does not only make her hormones go all haywire but also switches off her maternal instincts. She's angry at her own babies, growling like a mad cow whenever they are near her. Or maybe she's just angry because she... hrmmm... she can't...hrmmm.. oh never mind.. She's still hot, so maybe that's why she channels her anger to her babies. She only comes home once in a while lately. Poor Esah...

The effect?

Seman.

I don't know how exactly I should express my worry. So, let this picture explain it first:

In case the name Seman is not a clear indication, Seman is a male cat!!!

Seman oh Seman... what is happening to you??? Are you turning into a female with the motherly instinct to breastfeed your brothers and sisters??? It's not that you even have milk! This is UNACCEPTABLE!

I don't really blame the small kitties. They are just deprived from their mom's love. They just need the 'feel' of breastfeeding, even when we already provide them with instant cat's milk from the supermarket. But, it's still unfathomable how the kittens could not see that Seman is their BROTHER!!! After all, cats are all naked! How can they not see IT!!!

-Look at Seman's tummy above, all wet from his siblings' saliva! eeeeiiiyuuuuu!

What I could not really digest is, Seman!!! Why are you soooo willingly, dengan penuh pasrah merebahkan dirimu dan diperlakukan sebegitu rupa oleh adik2 mu. You could growl at them whenever they come near your tummy... but you, you let it all happen, with open arms (and feet). Other male cats may be looking at their siblings with absolute lust (potential rape victims. Sumbang mahram common kan among cats?), with sheer disgust, or with utter gluttony (male cats do feed on kittens sometimes right?), but Seman.... yes you can be all loving, but not in a motherly kinda way la!

It's 'amazing' how love can really change someone (or some-cat)!

I hope you are not turning into a gay as well!!!

This is also worrying since you always chicken out when you see other male cats. Tak reti gaduh langsung!!!

Ok, enough of letting out my worries. Ni baru kucing aku, blom lagi anak2 aku wat hal.. mintak simpang...Haissshhh...

Kalau-okey?

2010-04-17T14:26:00.016+08:00

"You can really hit the note", Mr Hubby commented after I screamed to my heart's content in the kitchen.

NO, I was not singing. I only screamed in response to my hubby's shock-horror teasing! He was squatting on the floor, behind the wall as I was entering the kitchen and said "Haiii..." Didn't expect anyone to be in the kitchen at that time. Ingatkan toyol mana... fuh...

I know it wasn't scary at all. But I suffer from acute shock-resistance deficiency syndrome (Translation: LEMAH SEMANGAT). Even the littlest thing can shock me to death. So keep this in mind if you plan to surprise me with anything. Or if your still want to, bring earplugs.

The point here is: I can yell for sure!

But can I sing well? Can I really hit all the high notes when singing?

HAHA!!! I WISH!

Nonetheless, I LURVEEEE singing.

My favourite place to let it out??? GREEN BOX? RED BOX?

No no no...

Maybe Jamban Box!

or... the stairs at my home.

The echo makes me feel like a star! hahaaha

But of course I can only do this when no one is home. Maluuuuu!!!

I love singing since the moments I could remember any other childhood events.

I am fully aware I don't sing that well, but I still like it.

But it has been a personal hobby ever since, until my final degree year. Thanks Dharani for introducing me to one of the wonderful wonders in the world: Karaoke Box! Haha! It's undeniably more satisfying to share what you like with your own friends!

Now with the emergence of the Karaoke-box trend all over the country, I couldn't be any happier. Finally my long-time hobby has been given due place in the country's leisure activity!

I still remember the first time I karaoke-d with friends was with Dhara, Allen, and Ray at Red Box Low Yat. It was on the eve of Merdeka day if I'm not mistaken. Muhibbah kan?

Since then, I'm addicted!

And there's a growing number of karaoke fans too, which is awesome!!! Kalau tak limited gila my karaoke geng. heheh..

Reviews? Hrmm... of all Karaoke Boxes, I love Green Box Sg Wang and Red Box Ria Sogo.

I think the quality of audio in Sg Wang outlet is better, and the prices are reasonable too. Red Box Ria pun pretty cheap, especially on weekends when other outlets memang sangat2 mahal.

The only thing I hate about most Green Box/Red Box outlets is when booking by phone. Please greet the customers using English/Malay!!! Tak 1 Malaysia betul lah! Your customers come from diverse backgrounds, so better lah use a language that most of us understand. Haishh..

Yg The Curve best, tp mahal sket lah. Sunway Red Box oklaa... Where else huh? Been wanting to try out yang Gardens punye tapi lom berkesempatan. ;) I have also tried AMP Karaoke. Bolehhhlaa....

You guys have any other Karaoke Boxes to recommend? Just shout out! I should widen my horizons! Hehehe...

Haihh, bile lagi lah nk melalak nih. Heheh..

;)

Azzy

THE SALE!!! ~FROCK TALK~

2010-04-16T17:54:00.004+08:00

Hey, I'm having this sale on my Facebook. Am selling my outfits for friends all around the globe!

Do drop by my album if you are in a shopping mood:

~FROCK TALK~ Azrin Azzy (FACEBOOK)

Txs

XOXO

~Azzy~

The Desperate Family

2010-04-12T22:08:00.003+08:00

I went back to Kedah 2 weeks ago.

I met the Desperate Family.

They consist of Esah, Seman, Lynette, Gabby, Mike, Tom, Carlos, and Edie*.

I love naming cats! If my future children could see how 'unconventional' I name my past pets, they should feel worried aye?

Esah is the mother of course. I'd uploaded her photos before on this blog. Ain't that pretty but has the power to make other male cats go Ga-Ga over her. She's on temporary contraceptive at the moment. *phew*

Seman (pics also uploaded here before when he was a tiny kitten), is also another victim when I was on "Memperjuangkan nama-nama klasik Melayu" mode.

I was so surprised to see how big and long he was in my recent trip to my hometown. Dia pon cam konpius2 ja tengok aku...Sah dah lupa... waaaaa!

The next five, i.e. Lynette, Gabby, Mike, Tom, and Carlos, are clearly the victims of my Desperate Housewives obsession.

*The other new member of the family is the kitten my parents practically picked up from the roadside a month ago. The sex is yet to be determined. But because it lacks social skills and is pretty annoying most of the times, I think its name would be either Edie or one of the Gay couple on the show.

See, I'm NOT kidding!

Sometimes I wonder: Why in the world I put so much effort and interest in naming pets. Of all pets I had before, NONE of them knew/knows his/her names! Dorg ke aku yang chachat neh? (I hope my future children will know theirs).

Ok, here are their pics for you to feast your eyes on (macam comel sgt je pn..hahaha...):

I think this pic is older since Seman didn't look that BIG yet. Snapped by momma.

Lunch time!

I still don't know which one is Lynette and Gabby. They look the same!

Again, confused!

Besaq kan Seman??

Another pic confirming its notorious social skills.

Mike!

How my mom's flowers were destroyed!

Kalau dulu Seman suka longkang, yg ni suka pasu lak!

Seman.. Kalau dulu longkang, since longkang dh tak muat, dok dalam cedok sampah lak...

P/S- Edie* and Carlos/Tom are recently reported lost. *isk2...*

KL Transit

2010-04-10T23:47:00.004+08:00

Just want to blog a bit about my recent 'transit' in KL.

I call it a transit because it's just a short stop during the weekends after I returned back from Kedah, on my way back to Muar.

Although nothing was planned properly, but I managed to have a few catch-ups with some of my girlfriends within the 3 days.

On Friday night, I met Mieza after 3 months! It was nice exchanging life stories with her after quite some time, and thanks for the treat at Pappa Rich ya!

The next day, Yuhin, Aini, and I planned to just have a stroll in any shopping malls not too far from Gombak. Many others were in the initial plan but they just couldn't make it.

We ended up heading to Jusco Keramat. Thank God the company was awesome coz the place was damn boring. We all agreed on this. The Pasar Malam saved the afternoon! hahaha

Then, because I was afraid to go back to PJ alone that night, I had a sleep-over at Yuk's house. heheheh. And I'm glad I did it. There're so many things to catch up with this super busy doctor!

Despite being a doctor, however, Yuhin is one of the most determined friends who makes the effort to meet up with ol' friends whenever she has a lil bit of free time. So other people have no excuses ok?? hahahah...

Thanks Yuk for the awesome sleepover, lunch, and dinner. heheh...

And the next morning I left early from Gombak back to PJ, thinking of 'qada'-ing' my sleep coz I didn't have much quality sleep for the past 2 weeks.

Then again, I contacted Sarah, and she said she's free. So I met up with her and had a splendid long-awaited karaoke sessions with her in Red Box Ria Sogo. It's funny coz we had mentioned about the idea of karaoke-ing together like 2 years ago, but it never happened until last week. It's funny coz it happened after both of us are married! Married people SHOULD be busy right? hahaha... It was our luck. Maybe there'll be another next time??

I directly went back to Muar by bus that afternoon from Pudu to meet my hubby after a week. ;)

That's all the story about my KL Transit. It may be short, but it IS sweet.

P/S- Oooops Sorry. No piccas! None snapped!

My Baby

2010-04-03T12:06:00.005+08:00

Oh yeah!!!

Been wanting to write an entry on this eons ago, but as usual, my procrastination skills got over me.

Yerp, clearly the pic explains it all.

I submitted my hard-cover research project on the 25th of February 2010.

The previous week, I received a call from my faculty to collect my research copies and the corrections, and I was given one month to submit the final 3 hard-cover copies to the office.

But I was in Kedah then, so I only managed to collect them on the following Monday, i.e. 22nd of Feb.

I went back, made the corrections (Thank God there were very little amendments to be made), and sent the edited versions to the copy shop in Seksyen 17 for the hardcover printing on the following day.

But it took 2 days for all the copies to be ready, so tunggu je lahh...

On Thursday, I collected the copies (I made 4 copies, one extra for myself!).

Oh dear, didn't expect that it'd be VERY expensive... You know lah, I never did a real research or an FYP or such during my degree years, so memang cam tatau apa-apa... *GULP*

Dengan penuh semangat kesatria, I went to the Faculty and submit all the copies.. My supervisor merangkap the newly appointed Deputy Dean pun dah sign smua.. Akak kerani opis pun dh siap cop dh 'RECEIVED' dalam buku dia... skali dia belek2.. dia cakap:

"Alamak Azrinnn, ni salah ni position 'MESL 2010' ni.. MESL kena kat atas.. 2010 kena kat bawah.. takleh sederet... kena wat balik"

I was like : "Haaaa? adoi, penat saya kak... saya dah soh org tu wat cmtu, dia lak p tukar, ingatkan takpe tak strict sangat"

So there I was, carrying the 4 super-thick copies of the research again to the copy shop for the corrections.

Menyampah gila petty things like that pun sibuk nk care sangat for corrections.

Dahla On Friday lak masa tu Maulud Nabi. So leh collect balik pn on Saturday... and can only submit them to the faculty the following Monday...

Apa lagi Monday tu, opis bukak2 je terus bagi... it was already the 1st of March. Tapi takpela, since everything has been stamped the previous week, 25th of February is still considered to be the official date of submission.

Phewww, lega betul... then I drove Tokyo-drift style back to Muar since Saiful has students to teach in the afternoon.

That was the story of my research project submission. Tak sah kalo takde a bit of drama ek?

Tapi the menyakitkan-hati part is..smpai skang tak siap2 lagi surat senate for me tu.. Without it, I wouldn't be able to start my new job in UiTM lagi. It has been more than a month.. I don't know what takes them so long to do it. Punyela aku bertungkus lumus buat sepantas kilat...

The last time I called, they said it would be ready end of April. Hope this time it wouldn't be another false hope. Akanku goncang opis faculty kalau tak siap gak!!

2 freakin' months for one letter + transcript. Urgh...

*HUGE sigh*

L.O.V.E

2010-03-24T17:10:00.004+08:00

No work. no studies.

It is as though my world is empty.

But I am actually overwhelmed by so many things in my life for the past 3 months.

I am overwhelmed by endless new life encounters, by endless new life gifts.

In short,

I am overwhelmed by LOVE.

Lots and lots of LOVE.

It comes in many forms. TOO many to put into words.

Many new joyful experiences collide into one another.

And I must point out that they have transformed into quite complicated webs.

I am VERY nervous to actually touch, feel, hear, see, and taste all the upcoming moments in my life.

Every single past second left me even more nervous to endure another.

Oh how I'm blessed to have Him and him and her.

They make every single step of my 'new' experiences more manageable than it could have been.

and for that, I say Thank You...

Azzy

Idiocy never ends...

2010-02-25T21:31:00.016+08:00

Have you ever done a stupid thing, and vowed that it would be your last???

Well for me, DREAM ON...!!!

Ok, let me give an account of what happened today:

After a confusing drama over my submission of research report copies in UM at noon, I decided to head to Amcorp Mall.

I had this funny rush inside me to browse through my orgasmic ROMANTIKA gift shop over there.

hrmm..as I read this, it's interesting how well the adjective collocates with the proper noun! hahahaha!

I tried to use the 'shortcut' to Amcorp Mall from Jalan Gasing. I used the route before, and it seemed easy.

It turned out, my memory was terrible!

I was lost on my way there, which was really stupid coz it's sooo damn near!

So after endless rounds of dizziness, I managed to be back on Federal Highway, and used the normal route.

Next time, don't even attempt to be adventurous Azrin! Roads aren't your turfs!

So I arrived in Amcorp after about an hour (Gila kan?).

Dah smpai pun, cari parking cm org gila! Since when ramai org dtg Amcorp??? Tahaper2 tul la...

So dh smpai...jln2 je la...and I was happy to get the orgasmic dose of household decorations that I needed. Also had lunch alone there at McD. Tapau skali utk malam..

Yes, McD for both lunch and dinner!

after an hour of browsing, I decided that it's time to leave the boring mall...

Tengok2 time nk bayar parking, I couldn't find my parking ticket. I remembered clearly that I put it in my pants' right pocket.

Tengok2 kosong... Gabra2...

Why do I always have to endure such bimbo moments ek??

Berpeluh2 den carik... I even ran back to the toilet I went to earlier, in case I dropped the card there.

Minah2 Filipina cuci toilet tu dah pelik dh tengok aku... like I am searching for my lost sh*t as I was scrutinizing the toilet bowls.

Finally I gave up. I went to the Info counter, and admitted that I'd lost the ticket. I went to the Parking office, and the young guy there said "Akak cari la dulu kak..50 hinggit kak kalo ilang..."..

I was like waaaaaaaaaaaa!!! "Akak dah cari dah semua tempat..tercicir ni... tatau mana"...

"Alaa... akak cari la dlu... saya nak tolong akak tapi boss saya ada..."

I was speechless. I was sighing... I didn't know what to do.. All I could see was RM 50 with wings flying accross my face.

About 10 seconds later, the guy said "Camni kak, akak pegi tunggu kat Lif tu jap, saya cuba tolong akak, kejap lagi saya datang kat akak"

I was like "waaaahhh... my distinctive sposen look still works!"

After 5 mins, he came with a newly button-pressed card, "Nah kak, saya tolg akak je ni"

"Tima kaseh2, sorry susahkan adik..."

I was relieved.

As I thought the story had ended, on my way to my car, I found a parking ticket lying nicely on the floor. My heart dropped "whatttt???".

But the time stamped was 1.52 pm.. I didn't remember when exactly I pressed the parking button, but I remembered entering Amcorp at about 2.10 pm.. So I wasn't really sure if that was mine. It's not logical anyway for my card to be lying there when I didn't even follow that path on my way to the mall..

Ntahla..that was a mystery. Only God knows. hehehe

Whatever it is.. thx Mr Nice Guy! May Allah ease you life in many ways, insy Allah.

So the best thing was, the half-an-hour drama of lost ticket is a blessing in disguise. I only needed to pay rm 2 since it's a new ticket! hahaha...

Lesson learnt: Never put your parking ticket in your pocket!

Ciao!

Wish List

2010-02-09T19:28:00.006+08:00

I sooo have nothing to do that I'm listing the things that I obvioulsly can't afford at the moment. *wail*

1. Blushers: TheBalm Stainiac OR Benefit Sugarbomb (any suggestions?)

2. DKNY Fresh Blossom

3. The Magnum Volum' Express

4. Stereo Headphone

5. Lust over Charles and Keith shoes and bags.

6. Shawls in different colours to match all of my ensemble

7. Liquid eyeliner (suggestions too??? Has anyone tried empro?)

8. Nutox range

9. An everyday watch. Am afraid I'll scratch the one I got in my hantaran if I wear it too often (macamla kuar umah sgt..)

One thing I've learnt, women's magazines are seriously damaging (to both self-esteem and pockets)!

Ok tell me again how am I gonna buy all these without a freakin' job???

ciao

Mad about MASCARA!!!

2009-11-24T22:31:00.008+08:00

I'm not one of those people who find it amusing to advertise the brands of every single thing they own.

BUT, I am writing a mascara review now, so that is rather inevitable. hehe..

I am a mascara junkie.

I have tried quite a number of mascaras, from those sold in drugstores, to those sold exclusively over the counters in department stores.

For those who know me quite well, you might have known that i have naturally curled eyelashes. But they aint that long, and they are rather scarce. So i usually need a mascara that can give me sufficient volume and it must have the ultimate lengthening power! Let me give you a review of the mascaras i have tried. Some are really2 amazing whilst some are just overrated. I hope this will help other mascara junkies out there!! Maybe we can share what's the best mascara out there in the market...

1) Maybelline- Cat's Eye Hypercurl Volume Mascara

This mascara gives a false-lash effect, BUT in a VERY unnatural way. if applied over too many layers, you might end up looking like you have 3 very thick strands of eyelashes. That can be scary, believe me. hahaha. If applied nicely, it can give quite an impressive curled effect (not that i really need it). What i like best about it is the wand that separates the lashes coz my lashes grow out of control. Sukati dia je nk tmbuh mana2, so the wand helps a lot. BUT what i hate most about it is that, it takes considerable time and patience to take it off. It's really2 waterproof, but the whole process of removing the coats can be rather daunting. In the end, i'd feel like my eye balls are detached from their original position!

2) Maybelline- Sky High Curves Mascara

This is Maybelline's latest addition to their endless mascara collection. BUT I'm dissapointed. I'm easily influenced by promos which promise to offer lengthening effects to my eyelashes. All in all, the mascara doesn't live up to my expectation. Enough said.

3) Loreal- Double Extension- Beauty Tubes

I must say that this tops my favourite drugstore mascara list. It really2 gives a false-lash effect without giving the unnatural vibe. It provides the length and volume i need and best of all, it is easily removed, as advertised. No kidding! Senang la bila time nk smyg kan,... Best2!!

4) Bobbi Brown - Lash Glamour Lengthening Mascara

This was my first ever mascara. I liked it then. I only realised that Bobbi Brown's mascaras aren't that impactful after i 'd tried Maybelline. And Maybelline products only cost one third of the price of Bobbi Brown's. Gila kan? It claims that it lengthens and provides the ultimate false-eyelash look. LIAR!! Not for me for sure... That was the first and the last time I bought the item.

5) Rimmel-

Oh I don't remember the exact name of the mascara, but all i can say is, NOT BAD! Rimmel is quite new in Malaysia, and it promotes the 'London' look to its users. The mascara (in blue and white packaging) was ok, but one layer is definitely not enough. A number of layers would do.

6) Revlon- Double Twist

Bought this recently. Looking at Jessica Alba batting her seemingly perfect eyelashes on TV commercial does lower my self-esteem. But, after using it, i must say that this product is overrated!! it has 2 brushes in one, and thus claims that it can deliver the effects of both types of brushes, but heck, it' s quite difficult to be applied and it doesn't make such an impact on my eyes as i'd expected. Disappointed2...

7) Make Up For Ever- Smoky Eyes

This is my latest buy. And I'm happy with it!!! It volumizes, lengthens, and curls all at once. But it's waterproof, so can only use it when i dun need to pray. The biggest turn-off for this product might be the price. So far, as far as I'm concerned, it's the most expensive non-vibrating mascaras in Malaysia. It's RM 120. But considering its effects, as a mascara junkie, i'd say it's still worth it!

There are a few more mascaras that I had used before but not significant enough to be reviewed. I am soooo drooling over vibrating mascaras of Estee Lauder and Lancome. But when I heard that in the US, Maybelline has released a vibrating mascara in drugstores nationwide, I started to see a hopeful ray of light. As quoted in a makeup review on this new vibrating-mascara trend: " When is it no longer cool to own vibrating mascaras??" --> When they start to be sold in the drugstores"

That's all folks!

Seman & Munah

2009-11-17T17:32:00.022+08:00

These are the names of the new kittens I have in Jitra.

Yes, saya pejuang nama-nama klasik melayu. huhu..

But because I still don't have the heart to name my own kids with such names, the kittens are my victims!

I think, within the standards of longkang-born kittens, they are extremeeeeellly cute!!!

Too bad I can only see them during holidays.

And so far, every time I saw them, they doubled in size!!

Ok you know I can forever ramble about these feline beings, so let these photos speak for themselves aye?

The end of a chapter and the beginning of another...

2009-11-16T13:37:00.016+08:00

Yes, it's over.

I can now say goodbye to my Masters studies in UM with utmost relief and pride.

I am lying, however, if I say that there're no uncertainties at all in my life now.

Yeah, I have completed my Masters studies, in the sense that I don't need to go to classes anymore and sit for any freakin' exams.

But I am VERY VERY worried about my grade for my last paper this semester and the status of my research project that I'd submitted last month.

My last paper turned out to be very challenging. It looked simple in the beginning, and that's why I registered for it. As weeks went by, there were so many concepts that I needed to remember and understand, all of which were foreign to me, unfortunately.

This was especially difficult for me since Linguistics isn't my cuppa, nor is it my forte. I can justify, ramble, and bluff all sorts of crap for my education-based and psychology-based papers but for Descriptive Linguistics: nahhhh!!!

Thank God I survived the assignments. My worry now is the exam paper I sat for last Thursday. I was so surprised to see that there were so mannnnnyyy things that we were required to write in order to answer each question. I was running out of time and I didn't get to check my answers. *sigh*.. Dunno la how it'll turn out to be. I hope the grade won't negatively affect my overall CGPA.

I don't want to have any regrets anymore this time around.

My research project is another thing that is bugging me. Yeah, I'd submitted it.

but I myself question the quality of my work which was completed only within 3 months, motivated merely by my plan to get married this December. I was also told that my second examiner is a very strict lecturer. Urgh... I hope my grade for my RP also won't negatively affect my CGPA.

All of this madness, coupled with the two part-time jobs had turned me into a very very tired superwoman. Amazingly, I managed to fulfill all that was required from me despite the vicious time constraints.

This explains why this blog was abandoned for almost 2 months!

At first, I regretted taking up the part-time teaching positions. But now, upon reflection, I have no regrets. I had fun teaching and learning from my students.

The new teaching experiences in overwhelmingly diverse environments have definitely enriched my overall perspective about teaching and life in general. Will blog specifically about my experiences teaching in the two IPTS soon. hehe.

Another uncertainty is surely "What should I do next year??"

I hope I will get the most suitable teaching position next year in an IPTA. I don't want to keep changing workplaces from time to time. I hope I will get to work right away at an institution that suits my vision and personality.

The other chapter?? some of u may wonder.

Of course it's my wedding.

You can track down my bridezilla journey on my wedding blog, if you want.hehehe.

MARRIAGE...

To be frank, this is the most exciting and worrying chapter of my life now.

I'm waiting for it to begin.

and unlike most novels and fairy tales, I hope mine won't have an ending.

May my story continue to put a gigantic smile on my face and the ones I love.

Walimatul Urus

2009-11-16T02:23:00.004+08:00

Assalamualaikum W.B.T.

Walimatul Urus

A wedding invitation to Saiful Izwan & Norazrin's wedding.

You are cordially invited to celebrate our BIG day.

Your attendance will be considered the biggest wedding gifts for us. ;)

Jemput datang memeriahkan majlis kami berdua.

Cheers!

Salam,

Saiful Izwan Zainal & Norazrin

P/S- For a bigger and clearer view of the card and most importantly the details, please click on the thumbnails. Thanks.

Disappointed

2009-09-20T23:38:00.006+08:00

It's not that I'm not grateful with what i have...

Seriously, alhamdulillah for everything that is bestowed upon me...

BUT, I was hoping I could spend my last raya, before getting married, in a more meaningful way...

Instead, I ended up having to follow someone else's plans... and that someone does not even deserve to celebrate raya in the first place. *HUGE sigh*

I am also 'forbidden' from visiting the few relatives that are closest to me...

Imagine not getting to see your closest aunts, grandmother/s, grandfather/s (ni memang dh takder) even during Eid, even though they are just THERE!!!

I miss my secondary school years.

Though Raya then wasn't exciting either (well, it has never been), at least I could feel a hint of Raya mood: visiting the relatives i know and like to hangout with, dapat main bunga api, dapat duit raya, etc...

I am just disappointed. That's all.

I hope next raya, as a wife (insy Allah...), will be a lot more joyous.

*sigh*

Maaf Zahir Batin everyone...

salam ghaya!!!

2009-09-20T01:41:00.001+08:00

salam ghaya everyone!

would like to say sorry for all my wrongdoings. and sorry if whatever that i've written on my blogs so far has offended any of you.

maaf zahir batin.

regards,

Azrin

When 'youth' is a disadvantage...

2009-08-29T13:39:00.005+08:00

"How could 'youth' and 'beauty' be a disadvantage??" asked one of my 'experienced' colleagues to me one day.

Well in my case, youthful looking appearance IS indeed a disadvantage.. especially that I am involved in the teaching profession.

"How old are you, Azrin?"

"Erm...25..."

"What??? I thought you were 17!!!"

"Heheh.. I thought so..."

"Oh you get that a lot?"

"ALL the time..."

This is a very2 typical conversation that i would have with people that I have just known.

Examples: When i was 23, I was thought to be an SPM-leaver who's waiting for my SPM results when i was taking my driving lessons, often di-ngorat by obviously hormone-raging school teenagers (rasa terhina ok...), and being asked by Wellington bus drivers: "children or adult"?? before paying the bus fare.

To name a few

No matter how much makeup i have applied, no matter how formal i try tool like.. I still look like a girl who has just reached her puberty!!! Tell me what else i can do!!!

And in the teaching profession, this is definitely a disadvantage. It is harder for me to earn the respect of my students, since all that they see is that 'i am just one of them'.

I have to actually search high and low for the ways to ensure that the students acknowledge the 'gap' between us..I need to put extra effort to prove that I am the teacher, and I am serious with whatever that I am doing. *sigh*

Last week, I had one student in the college i'm currently teaching coming to me and asking:

"Are you really the teacher???, my friend said you are his teacher. I don't believe him.!!."

"Yes, i am..." *smile*

I can see the shock in his face.

Seriously, Do i really look THAT young???

I am all worried about my pre-mature wrinkles, but still i look young in the eyes of others...?

Perhaps, i will only come to appreciate this 'gift' when I'm 40.

For now... I don't know what I can do anymore to make myself look mature and teacher-ish.I have makeup, i put my hair down, I wear formal clothes, i wear traditional clothes too, I wear high heels.... i use womanly bags too..waaaaaa...

But my baby-face and small frame make all of the above pointless...

Still, I am grateful to Allah for everything that is bestowed upon me.

At least, credit card promoters in the mall won't even bother to distribute their pamphlets to me, what more to persuade me into their strategic trap!

;)

Ciao